KissMyTiara

What do you think? My Mom 81 was diagnosed with terminal stage 4 colon cancer in April of this year. She was not an alcoholic as far as I know but liked to have a few rum and cokes every single day. In July she was given 2 weeks to live. She quit chemo and was just wasting away. She had pain meds from hospice but all she wanted to do was drink rum and cokes to make her pain and misery go away. We decided she could have whatever and as much as she wanted in those last two weeks. She did die August 2.

Your thoughts on this.

fishkiller

Sorry for your loss

To me it is a personal decision.
That is what she wanted so IMO it is none of my business.

KissMyTiara

It was our business because she was so sick and bedridden we would have to make and supply her with the alcohol. Her pain from the cancer was awful to hear her moan. Supplying her with alcohol seemed like the right thing to do.

least

Yes, it was the end of her life and she chose to do that. It's her choice. My mom was on a morphine drip her last few days. At least she wasn't aware of the pain she was going thru.

fishkiller

I meant it wasn't my business personally.

IMO you did the right thing. I would do anything my loved wished for in that situation.

Hodd

Sorry for your loss, KMT. You were there at the end and did the kindest thing possible by giving your mum some comfort.

The last pic of my dad alive was taken in a hospital on his birthday 8 days before he died. He thankfully went home a few days before he died. In the picture is a miniature bottle of malt whisky which my brother had smuggled in. Whatever a doctor might say, it made no difference to his meds but gave him some pleasure in his last days.

We’re alcoholics or drinkers on this site, so alcohol has negative connotations. In your mum’s case, it was the kindest act.

Free2bme888

Yes, as a nurse, and an orphan with both parents deceased.

i always let my patients eat and drink whatever they wanted. I bent the rules especially if terminal.

Dont second guess your choice. It was good. 😍❤️🥰


im very sorry you lost her 😥

Dee74

I'm sorry for your loss KMT.

I wouldn't second guess your decision.

I have a major problem with addiction, but my parents are not alcoholics or addicts either.
You knew your mom way better than any of us did.

D

Anna

I'm sorry for your loss.

You were able to help your mother during her last days and that's what matters.

Runswithspoons

You honored her wishes, and that is the best gift we can give our loved ones at their end of life. Very sorry for your loss... I lost both parents, and wish there had been any requests or wishes that I could have fulfilled.

ScottFromWI

Sorry for your loss KissMyTiara, may your mother be at peace and free of her earthly burdens/pain. You helped her last days here be somewhat more tolerable and there is no reason to feel any guilt about that.

Nosecco

In my opinion you absolutely did the kindest and right thing. I can’t think of one single reason why enjoying as much Alcohol as you like when you only have a couple of months to live could be negative! We all know alcohol is bad for our health but at this stage when you’re dying anyway, any kind of relief is what we’ll have left. Would be very cruel to abstain from what you want in your last days, weeks months x

DriGuy

I agree, it should be her decision.

Hodd

I probably shouldn’t say this as it gives out a wrong message, but if I get to a stage where I have limited time left, I’ll drink. I don’t think I’d get wasted as I’d hope to spend that time with family or reading stuff that I’d never got round to, etc. Right now, we’re all healthy - touch wood - and have too much to lose by drinking, but if we’re in our last weeks or days, a drink may help us along. I’m hoping this will be the only time I’ll drink again.

Cityboy

Very sorry to hear that you lost your mom. Sounds like you were just trying to keep her comfortable in her final days. No one could ask anything else.

Triggered

Tough decision.... I know I would think twice if she had a history of problem drinking...it could all have turned out a sorry mess and not the send off for your mum that you might have hoped for..we're different than her I suspect....if I were her in the same position there would be a real chance that I would go crazy and make my end days a nightmare for everyone. I suspect your mum wasnt afflicted with the same disease as us...so imho you did exactly the right thing

Dee74

There’s a massive difference in making some one else comfortable in their last days and one of us SR peeps.

Maybe I’m fooling myself, but I can’t see I’ll be able to turn my back on the authentic life I’ve built as a sober person.

I found my true life and true self again.

To me there’s no circumstance that releases me from my bond of never again, not even imminent death.

To be honest drinking’s just not enticing to me anymore. I couldn’t waste those last days drinking like I used to, because I know I would drink like I used to if I started again.

Just had to add the balance Hodd. Sorry for the diversion KMT.

Surrendered19

You did right by your dear Mom KMT. Having a few drinks for her is much different than us addicts drinking at that point in our life. I cannot see myself drinking if I knew the end was near, but only people who have faced the end can testify competently.

Bless you and your family and your dear Mom.

KissMyTiara

Thanks everyone for your condolences. She was bedridden and wouldn't eat anything but ice cream for the last month. And she just wanted rum and cokes most of the day. She would sleep mostly. I'm at peace I let her have whatever she wanted. Even if she was drunk. Anything to help mitigate the pain which the palliative care wasn't working as effectively as hoped.

Mizz

I am sorry for your loss. It is very hard to lose someone and cancer is one of those diseases that truly ravages the body.

Before my sister died she was drinking wine and lots of it. The hospice nurses let us know that it was acceptable to let her do whatever she needed in that time and to have whatever she wanted. We do not think we did anything wrong. Her final days were hers to own and live out as she pleased. You did the right thing in my opinion.