Sunshine2021

Drank again last night. It starts at night, i was indated with thoughts of reasons why I should drink. Thoughts like::"I enjoy the buzz, I will only have a few jujst to get the buzz." Last night was uneventful...for now... no cops at my door...for now. no throwing up....for now. No blackout...for now. Until one night I have one too many. I had resisted the temptation the night before. Felt so good about myself I felt empowered and strong the next morning. it is in the resisting the temptation that we are strengthened. Last night I convinced myself I would only have a six pack. after a few I felt a buzz and thought:" Ok! This is the last one!" Until there was no more. Thank goodness I did not go out to get more. which I have done before. I am reaching out this behavior needs to end. I need help. thank you for reading.

TroubleAfoot

HI Sunshine and welcome to Sober Recovery (SR)!

Did you drink again after a period of abstinence or is it that you want to quit now? Either way you can start today. If you relapsed don't be hard on your self because almost everyone of us here has relapsed on our journeys to stay sober. It is part of the process. Part of the learning process. Sometimes, unfortunately, we seem to forget why we quit drinking and have to be reminded of how much it gets in the way of truly living free.

Begin again today. Come here often as you will find you are amongst a large group of people who are sharing a common experience and helping each other through it.

Mizz

I can relate to how you drink and why. I can relate to the justifications. All of it really.
There is a better life waiting for you. One day at a time.
Support is essential. Keep posting and keep reading. Make this day the day that YOU changed your life and empowered yourself.
You can do it!

Sunshine2021

Thank you so much for your uplifting words

LadyBug66

There was a time of day that my thoughts of drinking consumed me. It was 4:30 PM because I knew I was getting off work at 5:00 PM and going to the store on my way home to pick up a bottle or two of wine. When I decided to stop drinking I had to have a plan of action. So when I would have my first thought of getting that bottle on the way home I would jump on here, SR, and read, chat and post till it was time to go home. Once I got home I would start some type of project that would keep me busy. I also ate a lot of icecream and drank a lot of club soda. I went to bed at a super early time and watched a lot of youtube and netflix. If you can recognize when the "thinking of drinking" usually starts then you can have a plan in place to curb those thoughts. Best to you!

Sunshine2021

Great advice thank you

Nonsensical

I have a voice in my head that tells me lies about drinking alcohol.
I stopped taking advice from a known liar and my life got a lot better.
I highly recommend it.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

Anna

Sunshine, good for you for recognizing how believing that we can just a couple of drinks is a slippery slope for us alcoholics. We are not able to stop drinking when we decide to and, for me, alcohol caused so many problems in my life. It is the resisting temptation that strengthens us so we can begin to recover and heal.

Haris2014

hi sunshine, you are in the right place..some great folks on here with a wealth of knowledge, understanding and compassion

This is the buzz you need to be chasing, hold on to that feeling of how great you felt..remind yourself 100 times a day if you need to

Jillian2563

So sorry you drank again. I was stuck in that cycle FOREVER it seemed. Then almost two weeks ago, I had the worst mental breakdown ever and haven’t touched it since. Surprisingly I haven’t had any cravings since. I was the same
woth beer, I would say I’d only drink a 6 pack and then send someone back to the store for “one more” and they would usually come back with more than one, because they knew I’d drink it all. So glad I’m breaking that cycle now. I do go to AA, a therapist, and checking in on SR frequently, so maybe that’s what’s helping the cravings. If I can do it, so can you. Good luck!

dustyfox

I can to relate to all you say - I find if you can get through the witching hour - either by distraction, eating something nice, phoning someone, going for a walk, or something , anything that can get you through the time when you really want or are looking forward to a drink. It will make it easier.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, Sunshine.

Great advice above.

Maybe, consider an SR class; so many members have found them instrumental in their quest for sobriety and recovery:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-two.html

Hevyn

Hi Sunshine. I'm so glad you posted about what's going on. When I found SR I'd been drinking all my life - always convincing myself I could control it if I just tried hard enough. Being here, with people who understood, made all the difference. I knew I was no longer alone & I found the courage to change. No one else in my life understood what I was going through. You can get free!

Sober45

Welcome aboard, Sunshine. Very positive name, I like it

I will second what LadyBug66 has said. I pretty much did the exact same thing. Sober for over a year and a half now and I wouldn't have it any other way. There is no void left by alcohol anymore because I filled it up with other things. You can too.

I really hope you stay around and keep sharing

Dee74

Welcome to SR Sunshine2021

D

ThatWasTheOldMe

This is par for the course alcoholism.
Soon you'll probably be drinking in the morning. Hiding it from family members / friends. Sneaking it to work. Etc.

Alcohol changes your body over time while simultaneously hitting your brain's reward center. The result is a physical dependence on alcohol as if it is food or water.
I say this because I've lived it and one drink would send me down that rabbit hole. Quickly.

SouthernSober

"Alcohol changes your body over time while simultaneously hitting your brain's reward center. The result is a physical dependence on alcohol as if it is food or water."

That's why I post the signature I do. I got to the point where...even though I wasn't pounding the vodka like I used to...even nursing 3-4 light beers made me even more miserable than previous benders. Sobriety becomes intolerable. We see it over and over again--people learning the hard way that misery is misery whether it's acute or chronic, and while abstinence is often hard..."moderating," "managing," "cutting back" is impossible.

I'm now in my early 50s, and any amount of alcohol will incapacitate me for days, if not weeks or months. This last quit was the hardest yet. The depression is beyond description. I struggled to even lie in bed and try to read or watch shows. Brutal.