55 Days, No Alcohol, Some Medical News
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Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Seeking a peaceful state of mind
Posts: 99
55 Days, No Alcohol, Some Medical News
Greetings all,
Sorry that I've been away for so long. I've wanted to post, but I've been worried sick about my medical condition, my cirrhosis. I finally got all the blood work done and then done again to check my ammonia level, which is now down to the normal level since I have been on lactulose. I had an ultrasound last week and then met with my specialist on Thursday.
To keep this as short and simple as possible, my liver is largely unchanged since the ultrasound eight months ago, which is good news. Good news in terms of things not getting too much worse. I wish I had shown more improvement through healing and probably would have if I had not gone off of the charts drinking again for several months. My ALT and AST were about the same from eight months ago before I had gone nuts drinking again. My INR also prothrombin time was worse, which is not good, as that affects clotting in the blood. Also my platelets were quite low but not at a dangerous threshold where I was at a risk of hemorrhaging.
My specialist gave me some tough love and said to me that if I had nine lives I've used up eight of them. He said this is strike two. He was pleased to hear that I hadn't had anything to drink since May 31, however, I am still a long way from being in any type of clear if I ever will be. He did indicate that there is always the possibility of long-term healing and some regeneration however whatever cirrhosis I do have will always be there and that it's a myth that the cirrhotic or scar tissue can regenerate. The big concern is that my liver would decompensate. As it stands now, I have alcoholic cirrhosis without ascites. If I were to continue to drink I will die. It will get much worse before it I would die, as we all know about that road. He said that I also need to be on a low sodium diet less than 2 g per day which will be a challenge for me. In addition to that I need to get the excess weight off as soon as possible and has put in a consult order for a dietitian which even though I have quite a bit of knowledge about nutrition given my history of losing enormous amounts of weight in the past, I'm certainly open to working with a dietitian that is tailored to a healthy low salt diet for a cirrhotic patient.
I asked the specialist if some of the symptoms I have such as fatigue, headaches, skin that easily bruises and tears, among other things, will ever go away or at least improve. He stated that they might improve, however to what extent he cannot predict because everyone is different. I have no bone to pick with him over that, I actually really like this doctor. He did reiterate several times that he cannot help me if I continue to drink and that if I could possibly get myself into good physical shape, weight loss regular exercise, that I still might not ever be a good candidate for a transplant because I am, in his words, "a big dude..." He stated that getting a new liver is as much of a fitment thing as it is a donor match in terms of compatibility.
I told him that I was very sad that I had likely cut my life expectancy way down due to my cirrhosis and that I had done this to myself. He stated that it's not necessarily true that my life expectancy is dramatically decreased, however it will be if I continue to drink and/or do not follow the low-sodium diet and get the excess weight off. I sure wish he would've said that most of my symptoms would magically go away over time but he was honest with me.
So that's where it stands, I guess the only thing I would say is that he asked me to focus, quit worrying about the numbers in my blood, let him worry about that, that if I don't drink and focus on that and exercise that he may not even check my blood again at the next appointment which is 90 days out. He chuckled and said we may check your blood if you really want me to. Of course I said yes I do and he laughed.
All in all I would suppose the best way I could some this up as I've got to quit worrying, start living my life without alcohol and constant fear. This is something I want to do I want to quit worrying and start living again. That's my goal of which a huge part is absolutely zero alcohol for the remainder of my life. I've lost the weight before I know I can do that, the other concerns are I am unemployed and desperately looking for either another contract or a staff position, and I sincerely want to improve upon my marriage. It's been tough with my wife and kids away visiting my wife's side of the family.
As usual my post is longer than I wanted it to be, thank you for reading this, thank you. So what I'm going to do, is keep busy, keep going back to the book Alcohol Explained, which has helped me perhaps more than anything I have ever read about what alcohol does to a human being and all the ill aftereffects. I look back now and understand a lot better why I was nasty with my wife and I love very dearly and wish so much I never would have been so snappy with her, having outbursts of a terrible temper when I was hung over four years at a time. She didn't deserve that and I hope one day I can get her to forgive me.
So here it is 55 days without alcohol, no celebration really, but some satisfaction in that I'm starting to feel a little better. My headaches have subsided quite a bit; the doctors said the high level of ammonia may have been part of that symptom. On that note the hepatologist says he does not believe in postacute withdrawal syndrome, there is no real evidence that it exists, as it is not readily definable. By the way he's a gastroenterologist and hepatologist and practice for 30 years so I tend to believe him. He asked me not to think about that stuff and just know that in time some things should get better and some things I may just have to live with.
Sorry for the ramble, I really have a lot I'd like to say. My wife and kids come home in 10 days and I'm so looking forward to that. I'm anxious to hear how my wife reacts when she sees that there's still the better part of a 24 pack of beer and a bottle of wine in the fridge that I hadn't touched any of before she and the kids left. So it will be exactly as she left it and I'm curious what she will say. So no celebration about 55 days.
Someone I know that has been sober for 30 years told me that I would never really understand what it means to be sober until I can make it a solid year. And he said for him after the second year was even better and he said somewhere after that he didn't really think about whether things were better or not other than he just knew that his life was so much better. I'm going to trust my friend on this one and 55 days to me is a good start.
Thank you all so much for this forum. I am feeling rather emotional this evening. Thank you so much to all who encouraged me and to a couple of you who I hope private messages and I'm so sorry I didn't get back to you I wanted to. I don't have much of a good excuse but to say and hope that of all the types of people you would understand. For any of you that have read all through this and your new here I offer you something: please don't and up on the edge like me. Seek medical help, read that book Alcohol Explained, stay with the forum, go to AA, whatever it takes. Whatever combination thereof if not more, but please, please, please stop drinking. I don't have a crystal ball and it is possible, I know, that I could stray from the path that I wish to stay on, but I doubt it this time. I sincerely don't want to drink because I don't want to die the miserable death that I have seen cirrhotic patients die.
Once again, sorry for the ramble. Please take care don't drink I'm not even close to some kind of success story yet but I am going to keep going.
All the best,
Max
Sorry that I've been away for so long. I've wanted to post, but I've been worried sick about my medical condition, my cirrhosis. I finally got all the blood work done and then done again to check my ammonia level, which is now down to the normal level since I have been on lactulose. I had an ultrasound last week and then met with my specialist on Thursday.
To keep this as short and simple as possible, my liver is largely unchanged since the ultrasound eight months ago, which is good news. Good news in terms of things not getting too much worse. I wish I had shown more improvement through healing and probably would have if I had not gone off of the charts drinking again for several months. My ALT and AST were about the same from eight months ago before I had gone nuts drinking again. My INR also prothrombin time was worse, which is not good, as that affects clotting in the blood. Also my platelets were quite low but not at a dangerous threshold where I was at a risk of hemorrhaging.
My specialist gave me some tough love and said to me that if I had nine lives I've used up eight of them. He said this is strike two. He was pleased to hear that I hadn't had anything to drink since May 31, however, I am still a long way from being in any type of clear if I ever will be. He did indicate that there is always the possibility of long-term healing and some regeneration however whatever cirrhosis I do have will always be there and that it's a myth that the cirrhotic or scar tissue can regenerate. The big concern is that my liver would decompensate. As it stands now, I have alcoholic cirrhosis without ascites. If I were to continue to drink I will die. It will get much worse before it I would die, as we all know about that road. He said that I also need to be on a low sodium diet less than 2 g per day which will be a challenge for me. In addition to that I need to get the excess weight off as soon as possible and has put in a consult order for a dietitian which even though I have quite a bit of knowledge about nutrition given my history of losing enormous amounts of weight in the past, I'm certainly open to working with a dietitian that is tailored to a healthy low salt diet for a cirrhotic patient.
I asked the specialist if some of the symptoms I have such as fatigue, headaches, skin that easily bruises and tears, among other things, will ever go away or at least improve. He stated that they might improve, however to what extent he cannot predict because everyone is different. I have no bone to pick with him over that, I actually really like this doctor. He did reiterate several times that he cannot help me if I continue to drink and that if I could possibly get myself into good physical shape, weight loss regular exercise, that I still might not ever be a good candidate for a transplant because I am, in his words, "a big dude..." He stated that getting a new liver is as much of a fitment thing as it is a donor match in terms of compatibility.
I told him that I was very sad that I had likely cut my life expectancy way down due to my cirrhosis and that I had done this to myself. He stated that it's not necessarily true that my life expectancy is dramatically decreased, however it will be if I continue to drink and/or do not follow the low-sodium diet and get the excess weight off. I sure wish he would've said that most of my symptoms would magically go away over time but he was honest with me.
So that's where it stands, I guess the only thing I would say is that he asked me to focus, quit worrying about the numbers in my blood, let him worry about that, that if I don't drink and focus on that and exercise that he may not even check my blood again at the next appointment which is 90 days out. He chuckled and said we may check your blood if you really want me to. Of course I said yes I do and he laughed.
All in all I would suppose the best way I could some this up as I've got to quit worrying, start living my life without alcohol and constant fear. This is something I want to do I want to quit worrying and start living again. That's my goal of which a huge part is absolutely zero alcohol for the remainder of my life. I've lost the weight before I know I can do that, the other concerns are I am unemployed and desperately looking for either another contract or a staff position, and I sincerely want to improve upon my marriage. It's been tough with my wife and kids away visiting my wife's side of the family.
As usual my post is longer than I wanted it to be, thank you for reading this, thank you. So what I'm going to do, is keep busy, keep going back to the book Alcohol Explained, which has helped me perhaps more than anything I have ever read about what alcohol does to a human being and all the ill aftereffects. I look back now and understand a lot better why I was nasty with my wife and I love very dearly and wish so much I never would have been so snappy with her, having outbursts of a terrible temper when I was hung over four years at a time. She didn't deserve that and I hope one day I can get her to forgive me.
So here it is 55 days without alcohol, no celebration really, but some satisfaction in that I'm starting to feel a little better. My headaches have subsided quite a bit; the doctors said the high level of ammonia may have been part of that symptom. On that note the hepatologist says he does not believe in postacute withdrawal syndrome, there is no real evidence that it exists, as it is not readily definable. By the way he's a gastroenterologist and hepatologist and practice for 30 years so I tend to believe him. He asked me not to think about that stuff and just know that in time some things should get better and some things I may just have to live with.
Sorry for the ramble, I really have a lot I'd like to say. My wife and kids come home in 10 days and I'm so looking forward to that. I'm anxious to hear how my wife reacts when she sees that there's still the better part of a 24 pack of beer and a bottle of wine in the fridge that I hadn't touched any of before she and the kids left. So it will be exactly as she left it and I'm curious what she will say. So no celebration about 55 days.
Someone I know that has been sober for 30 years told me that I would never really understand what it means to be sober until I can make it a solid year. And he said for him after the second year was even better and he said somewhere after that he didn't really think about whether things were better or not other than he just knew that his life was so much better. I'm going to trust my friend on this one and 55 days to me is a good start.
Thank you all so much for this forum. I am feeling rather emotional this evening. Thank you so much to all who encouraged me and to a couple of you who I hope private messages and I'm so sorry I didn't get back to you I wanted to. I don't have much of a good excuse but to say and hope that of all the types of people you would understand. For any of you that have read all through this and your new here I offer you something: please don't and up on the edge like me. Seek medical help, read that book Alcohol Explained, stay with the forum, go to AA, whatever it takes. Whatever combination thereof if not more, but please, please, please stop drinking. I don't have a crystal ball and it is possible, I know, that I could stray from the path that I wish to stay on, but I doubt it this time. I sincerely don't want to drink because I don't want to die the miserable death that I have seen cirrhotic patients die.
Once again, sorry for the ramble. Please take care don't drink I'm not even close to some kind of success story yet but I am going to keep going.
All the best,
Max
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Max, some time ago I got some blood work back and my liver levels were elevated so doc sent me for an ultrasound. I was standing in an ACE hardware when I noticed a new email, and it was from my doctor so I opened it right away. It was bad news. Cirrhosis. I paid for my stuff and walked to my truck where I had a mini breakdown. I was expecting the worst. But I remember vividly and powerfully how I told myself I would obviously never drink again. I could not believe that anyone that received that kind of news...that your life might be ending from something preventable, could or would ever drink again. I knew for certain that I would never taste alcohol again. My drinking days were done and I would salvage what was left of my life. Since that day I have had 4 binges lasting from 2 - 10 days. Hardcore, drink around the clock the hardest stuff that the store sells binges. Blackouts, injuries, tremors, shortness of breath, elevated pulse and blood pressure, jaundice. The whole nine.
I tell you this as a cautionary tale.
The fact that there is beer and wine in your fridge is a bit alarming. That is akin to having nitroglycerine in the fridge. Your health concerns are fresh and foremost in your mind so that booze doesn't appeal to you as much. But if you get through this scare, the liquor will call to you more and more. When something shiny catches our eye, we look at it. But after some time even the most amazing sight will no longer keep our focus. Your health has your attention now, but what about when it doesn't? I hope that you are working a serious recovery program because my friend, willpower alone is not a notoriously effective method to quit drinking. I remember one of your posts stated that AA wasn't for you because of all the "kumbaya" stuff or religion or whatever you said. Well, those people have found a way to stop and stay stopped. And I've been to a ton of AA meetings and I never heard and Kumbaya or a single thing about religion. They do talk about a higher power, but religion is not part of the program.
There are lots of programs out there...AVRT, CBT, SMART, IOPs, Medicine, Therapy... lots of ways to get sober. But there are infinite ways to get drunk.
Hoping for your family's sake that you find one. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. This disease is a killer.
I tell you this as a cautionary tale.
The fact that there is beer and wine in your fridge is a bit alarming. That is akin to having nitroglycerine in the fridge. Your health concerns are fresh and foremost in your mind so that booze doesn't appeal to you as much. But if you get through this scare, the liquor will call to you more and more. When something shiny catches our eye, we look at it. But after some time even the most amazing sight will no longer keep our focus. Your health has your attention now, but what about when it doesn't? I hope that you are working a serious recovery program because my friend, willpower alone is not a notoriously effective method to quit drinking. I remember one of your posts stated that AA wasn't for you because of all the "kumbaya" stuff or religion or whatever you said. Well, those people have found a way to stop and stay stopped. And I've been to a ton of AA meetings and I never heard and Kumbaya or a single thing about religion. They do talk about a higher power, but religion is not part of the program.
There are lots of programs out there...AVRT, CBT, SMART, IOPs, Medicine, Therapy... lots of ways to get sober. But there are infinite ways to get drunk.
Hoping for your family's sake that you find one. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. This disease is a killer.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Seeking a peaceful state of mind
Posts: 99
Originally Posted by BeABetterMan 
Max, some time ago I got some blood work back and my liver levels were elevated so doc sent me for an ultrasound. I was standing in an ACE hardware when I noticed a new email, and it was from my doctor so I opened it right away. It was bad news. Cirrhosis. I paid for my stuff and walked to my truck where I had a mini breakdown. I was expecting the worst. But I remember vividly and powerfully how I told myself I would obviously never drink again. I could not believe that anyone that received that kind of news...that your life might be ending from something preventable, could or would ever drink again. I knew for certain that I would never taste alcohol again. My drinking days were done and I would salvage what was left of my life. Since that day I have had 4 binges lasting from 2 - 10 days. Hardcore, drink around the clock the hardest stuff that the store sells binges. Blackouts, injuries, tremors, shortness of breath, elevated pulse and blood pressure, jaundice. The whole nine.
I tell you this as a cautionary tale.
The fact that there is beer and wine in your fridge is a bit alarming. That is akin to having nitroglycerine in the fridge. Your health concerns are fresh and foremost in your mind so that booze doesn't appeal to you as much. But if you get through this scare, the liquor will call to you more and more. When something shiny catches our eye, we look at it. But after some time even the most amazing sight will no longer keep our focus. Your health has your attention now, but what about when it doesn't? I hope that you are working a serious recovery program because my friend, willpower alone is not a notoriously effective method to quit drinking. I remember one of your posts stated that AA wasn't for you because of all the "kumbaya" stuff or religion or whatever you said. Well, those people have found a way to stop and stay stopped. And I've been to a ton of AA meetings and I never heard and Kumbaya or a single thing about religion. They do talk about a higher power, but religion is not part of the program.
There are lots of programs out there...AVRT, CBT, SMART, IOPs, Medicine, Therapy... lots of ways to get sober. But there are infinite ways to get drunk.
Hoping for your family's sake that you find one. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. This disease is a killer.
I tell you this as a cautionary tale.
The fact that there is beer and wine in your fridge is a bit alarming. That is akin to having nitroglycerine in the fridge. Your health concerns are fresh and foremost in your mind so that booze doesn't appeal to you as much. But if you get through this scare, the liquor will call to you more and more. When something shiny catches our eye, we look at it. But after some time even the most amazing sight will no longer keep our focus. Your health has your attention now, but what about when it doesn't? I hope that you are working a serious recovery program because my friend, willpower alone is not a notoriously effective method to quit drinking. I remember one of your posts stated that AA wasn't for you because of all the "kumbaya" stuff or religion or whatever you said. Well, those people have found a way to stop and stay stopped. And I've been to a ton of AA meetings and I never heard and Kumbaya or a single thing about religion. They do talk about a higher power, but religion is not part of the program.
There are lots of programs out there...AVRT, CBT, SMART, IOPs, Medicine, Therapy... lots of ways to get sober. But there are infinite ways to get drunk.
Hoping for your family's sake that you find one. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. This disease is a killer.
Alcohol will be everywhere around me for the rest of my life, I face that and will keep moving forward. I've been in counseling for 5 years and it's helped a ton. I don't want to go back, otherwise, I might as well just give up and die.
Thanks again!
Max
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Ok my man. Cars are everywhere too but I don’t run in front of them, lol.
Seriously though, your story has a couple warning signs so please be diligent. Guys like us don’t have any slack, any booze can literally kill us.
I forgot to say congrats on your 55 days. That is really excellent. Keep it up!!
Seriously though, your story has a couple warning signs so please be diligent. Guys like us don’t have any slack, any booze can literally kill us.
I forgot to say congrats on your 55 days. That is really excellent. Keep it up!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,161
You know what you need to do.
I agree that alcohol in the house is not the best idea. We see alcohol everywhere else like you said but when I get home I dont want to have to look at it every time I opened the fridge.
What will it hurt to chuck it?
I had a similar experience as your friend. My 1st year was just don't drink. Figure out how to accomplish that in any situation. Now in my 2nd year I am focused on the rest of my life and what I can do to improve it.
Chuck the booze, listen to the doc. Live a great life.
Or there is only one other alternative
You can do it Max. Dig down deep
I agree that alcohol in the house is not the best idea. We see alcohol everywhere else like you said but when I get home I dont want to have to look at it every time I opened the fridge.
What will it hurt to chuck it?
I had a similar experience as your friend. My 1st year was just don't drink. Figure out how to accomplish that in any situation. Now in my 2nd year I am focused on the rest of my life and what I can do to improve it.
Chuck the booze, listen to the doc. Live a great life.
Or there is only one other alternative
You can do it Max. Dig down deep
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Thanks for your update, Max. I agree with BABM and the others 100%. Get the booze out of the house now. Work a program of recovery. Eat well and exercise like a madman (my main tool, along with SR).
Man, this thing (the AV) will rise out of nowhere and strike when you are least expecting it. I had THREE years and got complacent and Bam, there it went. Now, three years later, I am STILL trying to get past three months..
My dad was in bad shape and they told him not to ever drink again. Unfortunately an old friend came over with beer one day and he couldn't resist. He went on a binge and it killed him.
Please don't let that happen to you.
Man, this thing (the AV) will rise out of nowhere and strike when you are least expecting it. I had THREE years and got complacent and Bam, there it went. Now, three years later, I am STILL trying to get past three months..
My dad was in bad shape and they told him not to ever drink again. Unfortunately an old friend came over with beer one day and he couldn't resist. He went on a binge and it killed him.
Please don't let that happen to you.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Thank you for your detailed post, Max.
I quit 6 years ago for precisely this reason - I didn't want to die from a preventable disease that I caused by my drinking.
I am with the others on saying get rid of the booze. It serves absolutely no purpose other than to tap you on the shoulder when you least expect it.
I had a half bottle of my drink of choice left when I made the decision to quit. Pouring it down the drain was a defining moment for me. I will never forget the power of that action.
Please stick around the forums here at SR.
I quit 6 years ago for precisely this reason - I didn't want to die from a preventable disease that I caused by my drinking.
I am with the others on saying get rid of the booze. It serves absolutely no purpose other than to tap you on the shoulder when you least expect it.
I had a half bottle of my drink of choice left when I made the decision to quit. Pouring it down the drain was a defining moment for me. I will never forget the power of that action.
Please stick around the forums here at SR.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Seeking a peaceful state of mind
Posts: 99
Thanks to everyone! BeABetterMan, I see you are in Arizona. I'm in Idaho, maybe we could keep in touch.
I see and completely understand that having beer and wine in the house is a potential issue. I don't want to and won't argue with anyone here -I get it. My wife is an occasional drinker, maybe 1 beer twice a week, she's just not that into it like I have been. I don't want to tell her that we have to remove alcohol from the house. She would if I asked, but to me, part of this program is knowing that booze is always going to be around. Since I stopped drinking, I have been out to dinner with my family 3 times where alcohol is served, and I didn't drink. I have been to some friends' houses and families houses who have offered and I have not partaken. I can't run from my cirrhosis any more than I can run from booze in my environment. If I'm in for a penny, I'm in for a pound on this deal. This is a mental game: I don't believe in the saying, "I fell off the wagon." As that implies an accident. If I drink again, it won't be an accident. I won't accidentally get in the car, accidentally drive to the store, accidentally bring home booze, and accidentally pour it in my body. Nope. I lived many years perfectly happy without alcohol. I want that life back and that's where I'm headed. If I fail, then it's on me, not on my 'fridge in the garage.
Thanks again, I may not post as often as I should, sorry about that, but I will stay in touch and be accountable first to myself and then honest on this forum if I fail.
-Max
I see and completely understand that having beer and wine in the house is a potential issue. I don't want to and won't argue with anyone here -I get it. My wife is an occasional drinker, maybe 1 beer twice a week, she's just not that into it like I have been. I don't want to tell her that we have to remove alcohol from the house. She would if I asked, but to me, part of this program is knowing that booze is always going to be around. Since I stopped drinking, I have been out to dinner with my family 3 times where alcohol is served, and I didn't drink. I have been to some friends' houses and families houses who have offered and I have not partaken. I can't run from my cirrhosis any more than I can run from booze in my environment. If I'm in for a penny, I'm in for a pound on this deal. This is a mental game: I don't believe in the saying, "I fell off the wagon." As that implies an accident. If I drink again, it won't be an accident. I won't accidentally get in the car, accidentally drive to the store, accidentally bring home booze, and accidentally pour it in my body. Nope. I lived many years perfectly happy without alcohol. I want that life back and that's where I'm headed. If I fail, then it's on me, not on my 'fridge in the garage.
Thanks again, I may not post as often as I should, sorry about that, but I will stay in touch and be accountable first to myself and then honest on this forum if I fail.
-Max
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,448
Hi Max
not trying to ‘pile’ on, but even if this is no value to you, I wanted this posted for others to read.
Many people have argued that if he/she really wanted booze they could get it in 10 minutes, so why not keep some in the fridge - for spouses, visitors, tests of strength or whatever…
My response is that ten minutes gives you a lot of opportunities to change your mind.
Opening the fridge and a split second decision is a totally different beast.
D
not trying to ‘pile’ on, but even if this is no value to you, I wanted this posted for others to read.
Many people have argued that if he/she really wanted booze they could get it in 10 minutes, so why not keep some in the fridge - for spouses, visitors, tests of strength or whatever…
My response is that ten minutes gives you a lot of opportunities to change your mind.
Opening the fridge and a split second decision is a totally different beast.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Seeking a peaceful state of mind
Posts: 99
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hi Max
not trying to ‘pile’ on, but even if this is no value to you, I wanted this posted for others to read.
Many people have argued that if he/she really wanted booze they could get it in 10 minutes, so why not keep some in the fridge - for spouses, visitors, tests of strength or whatever…
My response is that ten minutes gives us lot of opportunities to change your mind.
Opening the fridge and a split second decision is a totally different beast.
D
not trying to ‘pile’ on, but even if this is no value to you, I wanted this posted for others to read.
Many people have argued that if he/she really wanted booze they could get it in 10 minutes, so why not keep some in the fridge - for spouses, visitors, tests of strength or whatever…
My response is that ten minutes gives us lot of opportunities to change your mind.
Opening the fridge and a split second decision is a totally different beast.
D
-Max
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
Thank you Max for your post - I read it and was so very glad I was reading it after having stopped drinking 10 weeks ago - it terrifies me think how easily sobriety can slip away and then we get lost down the rabbit hole of addiction. I hope you tell your wife how things are - even show her your post - she may be over the moon that you are serious about quitting . I hope she is. I think you should pour that alcohol in the fridge down the drain where it belongs. I think we are all willing you to succeed!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,516
Max, I understand how you feel that alcohol is everywhere. It can seem that way. But, it's not in my house. I know that sobriety is a mental game, of course. BUT, I know, that in my recovery, there have been a few long, dark, sad, sleepless nights, when, if I opened the fridge and saw bottles of wine, I may very well have caved and drank it. As Dee said, 10 minutes gives you a lot of time to rethink your decision. Opening the fridge takes only a second. This is a life and death decision for you at this time.
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
I read your entire post and I am seeing you are processing this news very seriously. If you want your wife to see how much you haven’t drank with the unopened left over booze, drive it to a friends house.
I want you to be comfortable in your own home. There will be challenging and emotionally fraught days and like other said you don’t want aahhh who gives a **** moment with the booze there tempting you. Build yourself a safe zone.
I also had to believe people on the boards that it gets better. I’ve read it takes time. The one year mark…I like, fishkiller and your friend, made year one as just don’t drink and get through it. Year two, things got better. I’m 1/2 way to year 3 ands things are still getting better.
I felt new hope and less anxiety in bad situations the longer I am sober. It’s going to help you worry less and live your life more. Once that booze fog is lifted! You’re to a good start with your now 56 days! It keeps getting better.
I want you to be comfortable in your own home. There will be challenging and emotionally fraught days and like other said you don’t want aahhh who gives a **** moment with the booze there tempting you. Build yourself a safe zone.
I also had to believe people on the boards that it gets better. I’ve read it takes time. The one year mark…I like, fishkiller and your friend, made year one as just don’t drink and get through it. Year two, things got better. I’m 1/2 way to year 3 ands things are still getting better.
I felt new hope and less anxiety in bad situations the longer I am sober. It’s going to help you worry less and live your life more. Once that booze fog is lifted! You’re to a good start with your now 56 days! It keeps getting better.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 327
I’ve seen guys die from liver disease, it’s not fast and it’s not pretty. It’s very hard to scare an alcoholic and fear only keeps you sober for a while. If you drink you will die it’s as simple as that.
There is another way, put the drink down get it out of your house. Change people, places and things.
I could not be around it in my early sobriety. That also meant not going to parties, family functions etc. when I did start going I drove my own car always have an out. My wife didn’t mind she stayed and that was fine, After a while the obsession was replaced by a freedom of not having to drink not planning a drink and not being a slave to the bottle.
I read that book it was informative there are many others. AA saved my life and there are other programs out there that you can use . Find one that works for you, I’m rooting for you.
There is another way, put the drink down get it out of your house. Change people, places and things.
I could not be around it in my early sobriety. That also meant not going to parties, family functions etc. when I did start going I drove my own car always have an out. My wife didn’t mind she stayed and that was fine, After a while the obsession was replaced by a freedom of not having to drink not planning a drink and not being a slave to the bottle.
I read that book it was informative there are many others. AA saved my life and there are other programs out there that you can use . Find one that works for you, I’m rooting for you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 11
Congratulations on 55 days! No alcohol for me in the house. Just one bad day, one slip…One sip and it will be another 14 year drunk, or at this point a quick decline in health to the end. Keep healing and set yourself up for success, I’m rooting for you!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 303
Max,
Thank you for posting your story and very sorry for the diagnosis but please keep your chin up and keep sobriety your top priority. I quit drinking for good a year ago and I wasn't binging just beer as I was binging the hard stuff for a couple of years straight knowing full well what it was doing to my body but the release alcohol gave me was more important than my health. I suffered from horrible gout from my drinking and at the time I had gout in both of my knees requiring me to move around on crutches for about 3 weeks. I remember I would hold in my urine for hours just so I didn't have to move because of the pain in my knees. I took blood tests during this time and the numbers were off the chart for everything and I was feeling chest pains and an overall dark depression of the future. I decided one morning during all this to stop alcohol or face the consequences of my bad habits if it wasn't too late already.
I quit drinking and never touched the stuff for a year now. It took months for my blood number to go down in fact I believe it was around 4 or 5 months for me. My doctor ordered an ultrasound and although I had a fatty liver I didn't have signs of cirrhosis....yet. A year later and it wasn't easy, I dropped 40 pounds of useless fat from my body, I haven't had a gout attack since last year and my depression and overall outlook on life have improved substantially simply by removing the toxic alcohol from my life. I feel 15 years younger, stronger and more confident in my actions and as everyone can attest the sleep is deep and rewarding.
So please stay on the sober path, keep your chin up and stay positive and you will find the peace you are looking for.
Good luck and God bless Max.
Thank you for posting your story and very sorry for the diagnosis but please keep your chin up and keep sobriety your top priority. I quit drinking for good a year ago and I wasn't binging just beer as I was binging the hard stuff for a couple of years straight knowing full well what it was doing to my body but the release alcohol gave me was more important than my health. I suffered from horrible gout from my drinking and at the time I had gout in both of my knees requiring me to move around on crutches for about 3 weeks. I remember I would hold in my urine for hours just so I didn't have to move because of the pain in my knees. I took blood tests during this time and the numbers were off the chart for everything and I was feeling chest pains and an overall dark depression of the future. I decided one morning during all this to stop alcohol or face the consequences of my bad habits if it wasn't too late already.
I quit drinking and never touched the stuff for a year now. It took months for my blood number to go down in fact I believe it was around 4 or 5 months for me. My doctor ordered an ultrasound and although I had a fatty liver I didn't have signs of cirrhosis....yet. A year later and it wasn't easy, I dropped 40 pounds of useless fat from my body, I haven't had a gout attack since last year and my depression and overall outlook on life have improved substantially simply by removing the toxic alcohol from my life. I feel 15 years younger, stronger and more confident in my actions and as everyone can attest the sleep is deep and rewarding.
So please stay on the sober path, keep your chin up and stay positive and you will find the peace you are looking for.
Good luck and God bless Max.
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