What have you lost because of alcohol?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi owen.
Lots of money, of course. The respect & confidence in me that people once had (hopefully now restored). My first marriage, due to both of our drinking - a tragic loss I'll regret forever.
Lots of money, of course. The respect & confidence in me that people once had (hopefully now restored). My first marriage, due to both of our drinking - a tragic loss I'll regret forever.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by owen90 
What have you lost (so far) because of alcohol?
Hopefully a list will hammer the point home.
Hopefully a list will hammer the point home.
I'd rather share what sobriety has given me. I will keep an eye out for that post.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,469
Hi Owen,
While in active addiction, I think the most important thing I lost was myself.
What I have lost will not help you get or stay sober. What I have gained will not help you get or stay sober.
You have to want to be sober, put in the work, and start the journey to recover from what you have already lost in the hopes you do not lose anything more.
I can tell you as I approach 4 years, my life continues to get better. I am more aware of myself and others. My worst day sober is far better than my best day drunk.
Be well,
DC
While in active addiction, I think the most important thing I lost was myself.
What I have lost will not help you get or stay sober. What I have gained will not help you get or stay sober.
You have to want to be sober, put in the work, and start the journey to recover from what you have already lost in the hopes you do not lose anything more.
I can tell you as I approach 4 years, my life continues to get better. I am more aware of myself and others. My worst day sober is far better than my best day drunk.
Be well,
DC
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Well, I lost my will to live at the end there. Those emotions and that frame of mind really set the ball rolling into getting sober.
Money was lost. A friendship. My self worth. Esteem. Confidence. Lots of days lost to hangovers when I could of been productive. My fighting spirit was buried under bottles of wine.
What I have gained?
Self respect. A will to live. A life I am proud of. Love for myself and others. Motivation. Determination. Success on a personal level. Success on a professional level. A harmonious family life. Clarity. A daily reprieve from active alcoholism. A firm belief in the power I have (we all have) to change our lives and raise our life condition. Positivity. A community of loving respectful people who support me. Truth. Physical strength.
Emotional strength. Mental strength. A true happiness that is not swayed by external circumstances. I've gained a new perspective. There is so much more but I don't want to write you all a novel
Money was lost. A friendship. My self worth. Esteem. Confidence. Lots of days lost to hangovers when I could of been productive. My fighting spirit was buried under bottles of wine.
What I have gained?
Self respect. A will to live. A life I am proud of. Love for myself and others. Motivation. Determination. Success on a personal level. Success on a professional level. A harmonious family life. Clarity. A daily reprieve from active alcoholism. A firm belief in the power I have (we all have) to change our lives and raise our life condition. Positivity. A community of loving respectful people who support me. Truth. Physical strength.
Emotional strength. Mental strength. A true happiness that is not swayed by external circumstances. I've gained a new perspective. There is so much more but I don't want to write you all a novel
Member
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,077
I try and keep my eye's looking out of the windshield. That's what Steps 4 - 10 and the serenity prayer are for, if I focused all the time on what I've lost I'd still be drinking and not being the best me I can be today. It's all about right now for me because that's all you have the past is gone and the future is unsure.....so be here now...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: London
Posts: 333
Drinking was just a symptom for me, i can f*** things up perfectly well without any booze at all. However i do know people very well where booze was the driving factor for them to lose or almost lose everything.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 234
I think I might understand why you may be asking. When I first truly woke up (after lots of tries) to the reality of abusing alcohol for years, I couldn't believe what I was seeing, and all of the things that might have been different. I read posts by others who were trying to contemplate the losses like crazy - for me it helped me feel like I wasn't alone, and others were making it through that, so why couldn't I? In time, I began looking out the front window most often, rather than the rearview mirror (to quote a recent weekenders theme). But I just needed a bit of time to reflect before I got there. I agree with others that we do need to get to futures thinking at some point, though, because that's where the tools for sobriety can make a difference. Hang in there! Trust that what you will gain will eventually outweigh the losses!
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,944
About 15 years of my life.
But I consider myself lucky. Since I stopped drinking at the start of 2019, my life has spiralled out of control but in a good way. I’ve become a person who people actually like! I wasn’t used to that as a drinker. Meanwhile, a friend of my wife is only a few years older than me - and I’d say drank less than me - and has alcohol-related cirrhosis. It’s game over unless a donor liver can be found. They have to go to hospital every week to have their abdomen drained or they’ll blow up like a balloon. No quality of life, and this was all down to alcohol.
I had a liver scan, and it was normal but at the very high end of. I reckon I was two or three years from having cirrhosis myself. Now at the age of 51, I retrained as a school teacher and am out and about doing triathlons (slowly) while the person I mentioned above can only wish they’d stopped like I did.
You’re not alone in asking this question, Owen. It took years of health warnings on TV and horror stories similar to the one above before I attempted to quit. Best thing I did and best thing you’ll do.
But I consider myself lucky. Since I stopped drinking at the start of 2019, my life has spiralled out of control but in a good way. I’ve become a person who people actually like! I wasn’t used to that as a drinker. Meanwhile, a friend of my wife is only a few years older than me - and I’d say drank less than me - and has alcohol-related cirrhosis. It’s game over unless a donor liver can be found. They have to go to hospital every week to have their abdomen drained or they’ll blow up like a balloon. No quality of life, and this was all down to alcohol.
I had a liver scan, and it was normal but at the very high end of. I reckon I was two or three years from having cirrhosis myself. Now at the age of 51, I retrained as a school teacher and am out and about doing triathlons (slowly) while the person I mentioned above can only wish they’d stopped like I did.
You’re not alone in asking this question, Owen. It took years of health warnings on TV and horror stories similar to the one above before I attempted to quit. Best thing I did and best thing you’ll do.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
It has taken me a while, but I prefer to look through the lens of the things I have gained by being sober. Looking to the past as a learning tool is important, but for me the consequences of my drinking were not enough in themselves to keep me sober. And certainly I had many consequences and lost opportunities, but they all eventually fade just enough to let your addiction tell you that it's OK to just have a couple again. Making a true commitment to never drink again, and then focusing on all the potential it provides is my focus now.
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