Boondock

I hope you made home alright, dude. and you're not drinking again....Also I hope you've decided to put the whiskey bottle down and get back on the sober train....

Disser

Thanks everyone I’m fine yeah. I just slept in later than I usually do. I’m becoming more increasingly angry and that’s without alcohol. When I drink I turn into like a character from a horror movie that’s gone insane lol

fishkiller

If I let myself only drink once a week I'd be pissed off all the time too.

All or nothing.

I choose nothing.

I'm much happier now.

Life's too short to run around pussed off all the time.

Come to the sober side. MUCH better here

Dee74

Theres nothing ‘lol’ about it tho, is there?
You could end up in jail or the hospital or put someone else there.


If this is you controlling your drinking I’m sorry but I think you’re deluding yourself.

What are you going to do about it, Disser?

D

Surrendered19

Usually warnings about having monsters inside of you, Jekyll & Hyde, romanticizing your inner beast - those are narcissistic ways of describing your situation that are so destructive to you and can really keep you stuck Disser. It sounds racy and almost playful in its dire warning. None of it is funny and using descriptors like you use keeps you from growing. I also think it is a way to keep drinking. If we have an inner demon that is out of control, well, I guess there is nothing to be done about that, and none of us peaceful folk could ever understand anyway.

I'm laying a lot on your plate, not all of which you have displayed in your posts. But it is not uncommon for some folks to use this paradigm as a way of resisting feedback and stopping discussion.

Disser

I got pissed drunk last night. My head is killing from head butting things I was punching a window on the bus. My fist is swollen. I can’t do this anymore Iv had enough

Disser

Oh and now Iv got a broken tv because I kicked it last night

silentrun

I hope you find some peace Disser. That angry thing is hell.

Boondock

Well, today is a new day....I hope you can get a grip on yourself, get back on the sober bus and try to find some professional help for your anger problems. I'm afraid if you don't you're going to get yourself into some serious trouble, dude.

Dee74

I’m not surprised you’ve had enough.
Find someone, a professional, who can help your with your anger issues Disser.

They may be able to help you find help for your alcoholism too.

D

Surrendered19

I hope you can heal up and get some help disser. What is your next move man? I think everyone gets mad and even struggles with anger at times. Some more than others. But after I got sober and had a few weeks under my belt, I started to be able to see things that would, during my drinking life, send me into battle mode. Now, some of those things might still really **** me off, but I can move through that feeling and work it out with a calm mind. Impossible when I was drinking.

I think not drinking ever again is step number 1 for you disser. I hope you remember too that violent people are not, long term, welcome amongst civil society, and you could eventually lose your freedom if you keep on this road.

Disser

How do I find help for this kind of thing? The feelings I have are still there when I’m sober only the more drunk I am the more I will actually act how I’m feeling. I’m quite and shy a friendly giant. You wouldn’t think I have this darkness inside of me. It’s almost as if I’m possessed. I don’t think that but that’s the way to describe it. I dont want to beat an inecent person up. But I can’t help at times. On my day to day travel to work, work, shopping, gym I’m always looking at guys assessing seeing if they would be a worthy adversary if they can challenge my might. I know it sounds daft but it’s real and I don’t want to live in pain like this anymore. I think if I get drunk again something bad will happen

Boondock

Make an appointment with a psychiatrist, apparently you have some issues. And stop drinking.

Dee74

Yeah if you don't have a psychiatrist or therapist see your normal Dr.
Anything has to be better than hospital or jail.

D

Anna

I agree with the above comments Disser. Talk to your dr, a psychiatrist or therapist who can help you specifically with the intense anger issues you have. If not you will end up badly hurt or in jail.

Patcha

Oh Disser dear I hope you are ok. Definitely talk to your doctor. There is a lot of help available. You don't have to do this alone or work the solution out of your own. It's only a matter of time before you seriously injure yourself or another person. Call Lifeline or similar if you have it. Or call the AA head office number in your city/country. Tell the person you speak to that you are having trouble controlling your anger and feel like drinking helps control it (it doesn't, btw, it just masks it or you black out and don't remember things) or what have you. Reach out now, Disser. We are all here for you as you go through this.

Surrendered19

You are not a friendly giant. I'm sure you are not giant and you are not friendly. Giant and tough and combative are usually ways that folks who are the opposite of those things describe themselves. But whatever the case. Those things (giant, tough combative) truly do not matter.

You don't want to beat an innocent person up but you cannot help it at times? I'm sure everyone is ok. I doubt you are serious with your boasts.

You wonder if any of your imagined adversaries can "challenge your might"? They can. There is no doubt.

I hope you can real it in and grow up and start paying attention to the way you frame all of this. I know it is emotionally satisfying to paint the picture you are painting, but we all recognize nonsense when we see it. Sorry man. I think you want folks to hop in and be supportive while you have fun with all of this, but just know that us addicts sniff bs a thousand miles away.

Dee74

I've known guys like you Disser and personally I don't think you're making things up or exaggerating.

I do think you need help.

Its not true you can't help yourself.
There's a lot of help out there. Find it and use it.

https://www.selfhelpservices.org.uk/...ank/orderby:2/
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-...t-and-support/
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/fee...ymptoms/anger/

Don't be like guys I've known who snapped in a moment and took someone else's life or lost their own, or ended up in jail for 10 20 years or more.

D

WaterOx

In my experience, drinking even one day a week can really screw with the mind. I find that drinking is the least of it. It's what happens afterwards, even days later, that's just as bad. When you stimulate your addiction, it screams back at you- and then before you know it you want to drop kick someone just for saying hello.

So I might be going out on a limb here but if you're drinking even one day a week, you're not technically "sober". My guess is you're feeling a constant withdraw that's being teased by feeding it once a week.

RAL

I think you are in the UK-please make an appointment with your GP and explain everything to them. They will refer you to someone who will be able to help with your anger issues and may give you medication in the short term too. PLease seek help before you ruin your life and someone else's.