Hodd

This is obviously a bit of therapy writing, but it may help anyone thinking about quitting to finally do it.

I lived abroad for a long time before coming back to the UK about nine years ago. I'd been offered a job that paid a lot, and I liked the area so went for it. That job didn't last all that long, but that wasn't an issue as there were other jobs. The problem was they would involve being away three to four nights a week. From 2013 to 2018, I spent three and a half years living in a hotel a few days a week.

Now ask me what I did in those hotel evenings from 2013 to the end of 2017? I'd struggle to recall. I'd get back from work, buy a (750ml) bottle of wine and a salad and sit on the internet and TV. That's criminal, and the only saving grace of any kind is it paid well.

From the end of 2017, I wanted to lose weight so cut down the booze and plucked up the courage to join a gym - it was literally 30 seconds walk from the hotel. A load of work mates also went to this gym, it was great. I went every night. I didn't have to go for it in a big way. I could do a little each day. I still had a sneaky (187ml) bottle of wine a night, but I was losing 2lbs a week and feeling great.

I've mentioned before the secret catalyst for the weight loss (meeting an ex-girlfriend who I've long since forgotten about), and what a turn around it was.

I'm not likely to be away all week in a hotel ever again, but if I am, I'll have plenty to do. If there were no gyms, I'd do a class or an online course. The trouble is, once you open that beer or bottle of wine, you do nothing else. You end up wasting years of your life.

I really enjoyed my hotel days of 2018. I even went to the gym before work for a quick treadmill run. The evenings were even better as I'd walk back into the hotel in my gym gear. All the road workers in the bar would look up. Nothing to stop those guys doing something else except drinking.

Hodd

Oh and that sneaky 187ml bottle of wine?

If I'd always drunk that amount, I wouldn't be on this forum. For a healthy person with no history of alcoholism, that's within the UK governments definition of "healthy" drinking. The trouble was I guzzled it down and wanted more. By then I was too tired from the gym to go out and get more. A good short-term strategy perhaps, but if I wasn't tired and my wine shop was nearby, I'd have quite a few more.

So, I quit at the end of 2018 which means I drank at a much lower level for a year. Then after 8 months of sobriety, I had a liver fibroscan out of curiosity - I had aches and pains on and off for months. Th results were normal but only just. The average results were at the high end of normal and some individual readings were above normal. Imagine the results if I'd had the test in 2017! The liver does regenerate if it's not irreversibly damaged, but look at how long I'd cut back and then was sober and my results were still just OK.

MaxVano

Good thing you stopped when you did. I'm looking at some pretty tough results to swallow when I go in for my next ultrasound, endoscopy, bloodwork, etc. I'll be thrilled if I'm still below the cutoff to need to meet w/a transplant team. I'm still too scared to go back and am overdue for my appt. w/the Hepatologist.
I'm at 10 days now w/o booze, I want to make it a year to see if what I have been told is true, that I won't really understand and won't really know that I'll never want to go back until around the 1 year alcohol free mark.

Good luck to you,
Max

Forwards

So true! Glad you are still doing well.

Hodd

Wow, Max! Thanks for the reply, and I wish you well right now.

Are you at the stage where you need a transplant?

Well done on 10 days. I think you and I know it has to be a lifetime. You can't drink with those health issues going on.

I waffle a lot on here and I mentioned a friend of my wife's who now needs a liver transplant from drinking. It's just so wrong. His life is over - he's at hospitals now more than he's at home. He gets tested or drained or whatever. His wife is now his carer. There's also some healthy twenty-something out there now (all liver donors are likely to be young) who'll meet an unfortunate end and donate a liver to this guy. I really struggle with this last part. I'm not in any way worthy to have someone else's liver in me after I destroyed mine through drinking. The guilt would be too much.

Anna

Hodd, you've come a long way and I hope you continue healing physically.

Surrendered19

Great post Hodd. One of the things alcohol robbed from us the most is daily time. I have so many more hours in the day now to fill as I wish. That is a great feeling each day.

Dee74

Thanks for sharing that Hodd - great post and a great reminder of where you've come from
D

C0ntr0ls

I travel a lot for work and drank a Sh*t ton of beer in those hotel rooms. I racked up 500k+ IHG points in the last couple years of doing that work and that's not even staying in their hotels all the time.

Hodd

Which is why those new to quitting often complain of being bored. We were unaccustomed to having so much time, and it soon becomes a nice problem to have.

I've got a mahoosive amount of holiday (unpaid sadly) coming up after a gruelling year of teacher training, I've got so much I need to get done. I have to laugh as the european football championships are taking place over the next month. Such events were fuelled by alcohol before, and whilst I'll watch a few of the games, I won't waste all day over it as I did as a drinker.

Hodd

I'm fine physically. It's the other part that took a lot longer to catch up