Sweetd1033

Hi all.. binge drinker here ugh.. many relapses now and it's truly destroying my life.. I am so done with it!
I hate this feeling of being ashamed of my drunken actions but stay sober for a month and then cave.. Currently on day 1 of being sober and it has to be my last day one or I could lose my life.
I don't really have in person meetings now so I thought this online thread could help, What helps you all with your triggers?

-D

Anna

Welcome, I'm glad you found us. Sometimes it's harder to stay stopped than to actually stop. Here is a thread on urge surfing that might help you:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...e-surfing.html (urge surfing)

least

Welcome to the family. I found that exercise, in my case, walking, helped me tremendously in my early recovery. It got me out of the house, my dogs enjoyed their sniffing, and by the time we got home, the desire to drink was gone.

I hope our support can help you get and stay sober for good.

Sweetd1033

Thank you Happy to find some people to talk to!!

Sober45

You can stay sober. This can be your last quit. I did a lot of different things but I think the main thing was staying connected to the way I felt on Day 1. Not forgetting my reasons. Being sober had to be on the forefront of my mind every waking moment.

-I came here daily. Constantly reviewing and adding to my reasons.
-never ever let myself romanticize alcohol.
-Found substitutes— Sweets in my case.
-Gave up on the idea of moderation- every relapse started with the idea I could somehow handle it now.

Stay close!

KidsEverywhere

Some keys to success that have worked for me (June 2 is
three years)
stay close with others in recovery
have a plan- who will you call when cravings really hit?
get a sponsor
read recovery literature
come here
find An outlet for blowing off steam (exercise, walking, etc)
If it is appropriate- a pet is a great thing- requires you to “take care” of something if you don’t already have kids, etc.
stay positive- when you find yourself grumbling about something- change subjects.

Hevyn

Hi sweet! I think being here will really help you. Everyone understands exactly what you're going through - the way others can't.
I felt just like you do when I first found SR. I never thought an online community could help that much. Little did I know that reading & posting here would lead to a whole new life. You're never alone. Welcome!

Jo43

Welcome lovely!

I honestly thought I could never give up alcohol after trying and failing many times over the years. In the last ten years I’ve never made it more than about ten days! Until this time. I’m 27 days sober but feel different this time! I stay close to SR even if I don’t feel like posting I read and digest what is said. I also read my AA books and I attend AA meetings. I try for a face to face a week (childcare makes more hard) and then I try at least 2-3 online meetings. I’m finding talking with others who understand how it feels helps immensely. It’s very true that those who don’t have an addiction do not understand how it feels. Don’t get me wrong they can be caring, kind and even sympathetic to us but they still don’t get why we can’t just have one! I work on a day at a time and ignoring the urge for that first drink as without it I’m so much better. We are always here sweetie whenever you need a word of advice or understanding or even a virtual hug! xx

advbike

Welcome. Lots of answers to your question here in the Newcomers section, in fact a good majority of the posts deal with issues in early recovery - resisting urges, eating and sleep issues, etc. You will also see that many of us are like you in that we can stop for some period of time but then we pick up again, Crazy when you think about it. I did it after 3 years of sobriety.

But you will also see that many are now comfortable in their long-term sobriety. It's well worth it.Just keep posting and reading and you will figure it out. There is also a monthly class of those who just quit, the link is here:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html

Cornishman

Hi
I am in a similar situation - nearly three weeks into yet another attempt to quit. I don't think there are any real answers - get through the misery of withdrawal and then make a mental or real note of:
1. All the shameful / disgusting things that alcohol has led you to do.
2. The way it feels when you wake up in the morning.
3. The way it feels even when you've had the first drink of the day (not good, just less horrific than you felt before it).
4. The shorter and shorter amount of time when you're drunk when you do actually feel good, and the physical difficulty of keeping that sensation up by drinking more and more and stronger and stronger drinks.
5. The more and more money you need to waste on it, which you could have used for more positive things.
6. The appalling withdrawal symptoms (shaking, lack of sleep, crippling anxiety etc.) you need to face when you quit again. Flesh that list out with some real examples and revisit it if you feel tempted.

Having said all that, it's not worked for me so far, maybe this time. Good luck!

Mizz

Welcome!

Primativo

This is spot on. Really, everytime I begin to romanticise drinking, I quickly move passed that and then think of all the horrific things that having a drink would really bring. When I start thinking how nice it would be to have that nice cold drink, I visualise when I wake up with crippling anxiety, or the acid relflux, or the vomitting. I think about actually how fleeting the high is when I drink, and that actually I spend the evening getting more and more inebriated and tired and lethargic and dopey, but not actually high at all. I think about the concrete fact that I will have a racing heart during the night because I am withdrawing again...I'll wake up and first thing I'll think about will be having another drink because I feel so awful.

Now I ask myself, do you still want that nice cold drink?

DriGuy

This is a good start, but I think you need more, specifically what are you going to do to make sure there are no more day ones? This is important, because you are going to have to change your behaviors, and that means you need to explain to yourself how you plan to do that. When you say, "This has to be my last day one," all of us know that along with you from the very fact that you are here.

We talk about making a plan to newcomers all the time. It's actually a big deal, but to start, it doesn't require a lot, because you will build on it as you go and as you get the hang participating in your own recovery. I think most of us when we were new made similar statements and expressed similar desires, without going much beyond that. I was certainly like that.

You've got one actual course of action in your plan already. You decided to come here and seek help. That's a thing you do, as opposed to a desire. It is the beginning of your plan. You've got one day, so you put the bottle away, that's another thing you did. Obviously, this is a start, but how are you going to get through tomorrow as that voice inside starts screaming for a drink, which it will for the next week or two. After that, the cravings will die as a result of you not feeding your addiction.

Hang out here read through threads that sound relevant. Read the sidebars that sound important to you. You will need to develop that kind of knowledge base, so you can sort through your ideas and see if you are on the right track. Ask questions. For most of us this recovery process gets very intense, and takes front and center in our lives, because sobriety becomes very important. Each of us puts a lot into our own recovery.

You will be more aware of triggers later. I think. These first few days will take most of your time dealing with early recovery cravings that will drive you a bit batty. You've experienced these enough throughout your drinking career, and dealt with them by drinking. Obviously, that is not the way you handle them from here on. Some people find distractions from them, rather than concentrating on them. I did that too, but it still requires some muscle at first. It won't always be like that. Later you are just going to handle it by thinking and making a choice not to reach for the alcohol.

It's good to have you here.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Sweetd

Posting here instead of drinking is a good start - there's lots of support and understanding here

D122y

I began having anxiety attacks or something. They seemed to be getting more frequent.

I finally was able to face the truth and admit they were caused by the booze.

I still had little ones for a few years after I quit, but nothing like the ones that I had while drinking.

I am still learning to live again.

The life after booze is amazing.

It is sooooooo worth it.

Suffering and time.

It is easier said than done.

Heavy exercise and eat/drink whatever I wanted was my way. I treated myself to anything.

Thanks.

KeepingUp

Hi Sweet! Fellow binge drinker here, but now with over two years sober. I also had many, many relapses after saying I would never drink again, but then with some time would feel like I could "control" it or that since I wasn't a daily drinker that I didn't REALLY have a problem. I was wrong every time The good news is, life doesn't have to be that way. A few things that helped me early on:
- reading or posting here daily - I still visit often enough, though!
- playing the tape forward - when I had an urge to drink, I thought about what would REALLY happen, including the potential dangers and how I'd feel the next day (days, weeks, etc.)
- taking care of myself physically - exercise, eating well, drinking water
- taking care of myself mentally - resting, breathing exercises/yoga
- talked to a therapist - I paid for a couple months of one of those online therapy things and while I don't know how helpful it would be for everyone, it was a good sounding board for me to work through some stuff. This was the first time I've tried actual therapy as an adult and I think it really helped me strengthen my resolve about my decision to quit drinking, if nothing else
- rebranded myself mentally as a "non-drinker" - because I always had trouble with the idea of being an alcoholic, especially one who would regularly go days or weeks without drinking with no issue, I just mentally did away with worrying about labels and just decided to consider myself as someone who doesn't drink, rather than someone who quit drinking. Not like a I lie to myself or others about having previously been a drinker, but somehow that little shift made me feel better.
- keeping busy with fun, healthy, or restful activities
- treating myself, too! I save a lot of money and calories by not drinking, so planning for special dinners out (pre- and post-COVID that is) or other little treats is just a way to be nice to myself for my hard work

Not drinking is actually wonderful. And believe me that I really thought I loved drinking! I can't believe that I've made it this far after so many starts and stops, but I just say that to let you know you can, too! There were some awkward conversations when I wasn't ready to tell people about my decision to quit drinking but had to politely decline a drink, so usually I said I was training for a race, or watching my diet or just didn't feel like drinking and that was usually fine. I hope this was your last binge so that you can enjoy all that sober life has to offer. Every day gets better, even when the day isn't perfect. Feel free to reach out!