JustJohn

Feel good, just lazy and lack motivation to do anything I don't have to do. Might have to do with being retired?

Maybe some guilt after working 40+ years and now becoming a slacker - lol.

My AV, never missing an opportunity, pops up from time to time and says "Hey man! remember how fun it was do drink and mow the lawn, operate the tractor, or do other chores around the house? Maybe a good drink will get you motivated - Nothing like operating machinery with a buzz!" My response: "WTF? STFU!" What a sneaky little bastard.

Maybe I just need to bask in the laziness for a few days and stop beating myself up about it?

Anybody else ever feel lazy like that?

Dee74

My energy levels go up and down for sure John.
As long as the important stuff gets done, little downtime is ok IMO

D

C0ntr0ls

Being lazy is fine. Remember, doing nothing is still doing something or at least that's what I was told long ago.

anxiousrock

Being lazy is okay in my books.
if you enjoy reading or watching movies, go at it, and love every minute!

DriGuy

My advice would be to stop that. You worked, struggled, sacrificed, paid into retirement when you probably didn't want to, and feel like a slacker? Sheesh man! Get in touch with reality. I've been there, and at first it's an entirely different way to live, but different doesn't mean you need to make it like it was before. That misses the whole point of the thing. As for being lazy. I know this is going to sound like I'm advocating being a slacker, until I have a chance to add an important caveat; Indulge yourself. Now add to that, "But not forever!" Why not forever? Because there's still too many great things to do and enjoy. But if you want to sit in front of the computer talking to faceless self appointed experts, do it.

During the days of the cave man, you hunted and gathered and were constantly working to survive. I don't think they had retirement, because slacking often meant death, and if you expected the young ones in the tribe to feed you and give you foot massages, they would die too. But here's the thing:

We don't do it like that anymore.

Aellyce

If you don't have to do, why not just chill? Did you retire just recently? If yes, might just take getting used to it a bit. I'm pretty far from retirement myself because I have a lot of plans for my business, but had a few friends who struggled with retiring from relatively normal jobs, because for their whole life, they constructed and maintained identities that were based on whatever they did professionally. I definitely had that over-identification when younger and it just created compulsion and imbalance in my life and mental condition.

I usually have a lot of motivation for things I like to do but can struggle with things I'm not that interested in, like chores. I resolve some of this by delegating - not just with work, for example it's always money spent well to hire pros for tasks I don't want to do and they will likely do it better and more efficiently anyway. So I can enjoy the result but don't need to spend time and energy on getting there, and won't beat up myself for procrastinating and still not getting them done.

I had a very hard time staying motivated on my former job for the last 2-3 years of it, felt guilty about constantly, and even thought I just lost my drive permanently due to years of heavy drinking and perhaps aging. Turns out it nothing like that happened, I just had to quit drinking and also quit the job that no longer inspired me. I'm taking a longer vacation now before I return to working and am greatly enjoying every day of it. I am usually very self-motivated, so just plan and do projects I'm interested in, even if they are not necessary, I do it for the fun and to learn/try something new. I also schedule everything, even most fun things. There are many great tools for scheduling these days but I mostly just use Google calendar and color code the tasks by type - it helps make my schedule balanced. I even do better with recovery work and self improvement when it is scheduled, but I kinda got off track lately and just decided a couple days ago to go back to that, because I am much more likely to do it that way consistently, and with more satisfying result. When things get too unstructured and spontaneous, I often lose track and get into (even get stuck in) useless and sometimes excessive activities and I even find such distractions feed my AV quite a bit, so will ultimately feel worse not better when I engage too much in things that do not serve my goals, so it's important to do productive things regularly, whether I have to or choose to. As for the motivation, it's a cliche that often it's futile to wait for it to arrive before starting something, it will come much more effectively on the go, while engaging in something productive, as a result of reinforcement I think. So, just start it no matter how I feel, much like not drinking no matter what.

Do you know what really motivates you personally and how? I did exercises to figure that out based on personal values and goals a few months ago in SMART Recovery and found it very helpful, not only to inspire me to stay sober but to do anything in general. SMART has a whole section of their program about Motivation, and it can be applied to anything, not just the motivation for recovery. For example, it contains an exercise where you make a list of anything coming to mind that you value in life and in yourself, take the time to write down as many as you can think of. Then pick the five most important and all-encompassing, put them in order based on importance for you, and make a plan for how you will make sure to be aligned with those values in the future and realize them. Make goals based on those primary values and a practical plan for working towards them that are unique to your life. SMART calls this Hierarchy of Values and Goals Clarification and you can find worksheets for them online if interested. They don't need to be related to career at all, for example one of mine was to make and maintain connection with people, which for me can be both professional and personal. Another one is related to physical and mental health. When you see all the values together, it immediately gives you a lot to do and usually feel more motivated because they serve your own, internally-driven, most important goals. Then you can use all this to create lifestyle changes, try new things for fun etc (that is also a part of the SMART program and another set of exercises).

I just saw this video a few days ago by one of my favorite entrepreneurs and podcasters Tim Ferriss, he speaks about staying on track. I would not apply all that he is saying to sobriety per se, but works well for other things and new habits, lifestyle changes etc.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmgl_bT9_vc

D122y

At my age, health is wealth. I earned my right to sit around if that is what I want to do.

On the other hand...

All my money not another minute buy...

Steve Jobs would agree (RIP).

It is a constant effort to stay positive, but it was harder when I was an active drunk.

I have a routine these days. If I am working (I plan to go for another 3 or so years maybe), or if I am off.

When I work, I don't make the fancy coffee because it takes too long. That is how the day starts.

I go to the gym about 5 to 7 days a week for at least 1 hour.

I don't get much exercise otherwise.

Since quitting drinking for a while now, I find that working through problems (e.g. reviewing my car's owner manual for how the lane assist works) is medicinal.

I just finished selling some stuff on Ebay. Total pain in the caboose, but it takes time to list, then pack and ship the item. Takes about 2 hours total per item sold.

I woke up this morning feeling as good as ever. For the first 3 years or so of not drinking, I woke up feeling pretty messed up. It was better than a hang over, but I wasn't springing out of bed like a mongoose.

These days it is better. I figure at some point my age will have to hinder my growth from quitting, but at this point I am still getting stronger.

Love love love.

Thanks.

DriGuy

That may have been my biggest negative in early retirement. I was no longer who I was, or how I identified myself. But being the biggest is hardly crippling. It required just a little tweak of an adjustment, and then you get a new identity. I actually like my new identity better. Granted, I retired two years into my sobriety, so a huge new identity was already happening. But I like myself more retired than I did when I was working. I actually do, and it's a noticeably positive thing for me.

novips

When it comes to giving myself permission to be lazy, I try to break things into categories. When it comes to my daily/weekly recovery work (morning/evening prayer, following the instructions for daily living on pages 84-89 of the Big Book, attending meetings, etc.), I try to avoid giving myself much, if any, permission for laziness. Additionally, there are obligations to others that I also try to avoid getting lazy about. With both these categories, I try at the very least to just suit up and show up -- though I certainly give myself permission to not like it

Anything outside those two categories, I generally try to be as gentle as possible with myself because being too tightly wound about everything and everyone doesn't do my sobriety any favors. One of my favorite things to do with this last category is to complete an entire day's list of things to do by moving everything on that list to some future day -- then I take the rest of the day off!

Mizz

I tell myself "The dishes are always there. Always. They can be cleaned at a later time"
Seems to help me in the times that I feel lazy. I get around to it eventually.

advbike

I retired early and love it. As DriGuy mentioned, most of us earned it - in my case a lot of management stress, 100 business trips a year, and lot's of unhealthy habits along the way. I could have worked another 8-10 years but too many people I knew were dying in their 60's and I wanted to still do some things, mainly travel and some projects. Now I'm really glad I did that, especially with this current situation. I tell people to get out as early as they can if work is not their true passion and find something that is. I do think it's important to still have some goals, whether related to family, community, another vocation, projects, travel.. whatever. Life is really short, John. Make the most of it.