WindPines

Good morning all,
I am going to post something on the parent's forum either later today, or right after I write this.
Here we go again... My kiddo's dad is demanding having her tomorrow through Sunday. It has happened twice since I got sober back in February. Of course, she is TOTALLY excited, as she has missed her dad since the last time she went over there. His name is all I hear.
I'm eight weeks sober, and panicking about what to do while she's away (as it gives me terrible anxiety when she is over there.) I'm anxious, but it's not as bad as the first time since being sober. Definitely not as bad as when I was drinking/hungover.
Anyhow, I thought I would post here first, because this is where I always post, and you guys always have such helpful suggestions.

Thanks so much for being here
Hope everyone has a terrific weekend!

fishkiller

I don't know the circumstances but be happy he wants in her life and her in his. I'm assuming since he is allowed visitation that she is safe there?

Mizz

I'm not privy to all the details but it sounds like your daughter adores her father. That is so wonderful. She should have a relationship with both of you.

When she is away you can stay close to this forum, exercise, read books, get the house cleaned, watch a movie. There is a lot to be done in our lives. A little quiet time away from your little one can be a gift of relaxation. Children are a lot of work. Get some rest.

Forgive me for not remembering the details.

doggonecarl

Don't use this as a free pass to drink.

advbike

I understand from your previous posts that he does this at the last minute, and your concern also is that he drinks, if I recall correctly. I think as others stated, it is wonderful that your daughter wants to see her father, but I know it must be annoying that he doesn't schedule ahead. She is learning the unpredictability of alcoholic parents, unfortunately. But try not to let your ego get involved (not saying you are, I think it is more about concern) and do what is best for your daughter. Unless she is in danger then let her enjoy her time with her father.

The time to fix the unpredictability around the child visitations is when you can get a lawyer and the court involved. In the meantime make sure you stay sober for yourself - as you said your anxiety is lower now - and so when that time comes you get some legal remedies.

Anna

I agree with the other comments. When you are able, the best thing would be to go to court and establish custody arrangements that work for you and your ex. Also, hopefully you will be able to establish he is sober when he comes to pick her up. I think that can be worked out in court, too. It's great that your child wants to see her dad and spend time with him, and use this opportunity to do something you'd love to do on your own. I hope it goes well.