Lucinda2

Hello again dear ones.

Have set tomorrow as my quit date. Posting this for accountability. Tomorrow will be Day 1. I set the date sometime ago, it coincides with the lifting of some of our lockdown restrictions so I will have resources to help keep me on track. Ie, gym, outdoor clubs, swimming.

Coming back is strange, guilty and very sorry. I used to see people posting day 1 again and feeling so sorry for letting people down. I never really got it. I have emotional empathy of a frog. I used to think, “why are you sorry, that is the nature of the beast, if it were easy then we wouldn’t need places like this”.

But now I get it. I peek in this forum and see so many familiar names that gave me so much and feel like I abandoned you and everyone that came after. I never forgot the support I got here. Not only did I abandon you but I did so in the midst of a pandemic! I am really so sorry for that.

Tomorrow will be Day 1 and I am going to need help AGAIN. I am not very great at asking for or accepting help and tend to think that ‘I am not like you’. I have the pretence of control down to a fine art. But let me say now, lest I forget, that it is not control. It is just very hidden behind a closed door. I am good at holding the world at bay and only letting it see a fraction of me on my terms. Today I am showing the mess.

Anyway, I have a plan. Tomorrow, I am having a small health issue attended. So plan is lick my wounds for a few days, check in here daily and then reclaim my time, my life. Gym, swimming, Nordic walking and local games club (indoor clubs should open in 6 weeks).

I know I take. Hopefully, I can also give something back in return. I have never been great at wise words or knowing what to say when folk are struggling. Empathy has never been my forte.I am in awe of the ability so many of you here have for that. But I will give give what I can, I promise.

Anyway, I will check in tomorrow. Briefly because I will be rather post op battered and bruised but I will be sober and not waffling so much rubbish.

I am glad to be back.

DriGuy

Glad you are back, and here's hoping you be around long enough to give advice to the newbies. Actually, you just did, whether to realize it or not.

venuscat

I am so very gIad you are back dear Lucinda s ❤️

AII the very best for tomorrow. And yes, pIease Iet us know you are home and safe. s
Onward together honey. s xx

Fusion

Lucinda, I am so glad to read you're glad to be back, I am glad you're back too!

Lucinda2

DriGuy, VenusCat and Tatsy. You are right there in the list of people that gave me so much. And here you are again Thank you!

Dee74

I am glad you are recommitting to recovery Lucinda
For the record I think your empathy and your desire and ability to help others is just fine

D

Hevyn

It's so good to see you again Lucinda. I don't feel let down. I feel happy that you came here to talk about what's going on.
We have to be ready to give up the idea that drinking is enhancing our life in any way. It sounds like you're there. We know you can do it.
We'll be here with you tomorrow - you're never alone.

least

Welcome back!

doggonecarl

Welcome back.

All well and good. I never knock anyone making lifestyle choices that are going to make them healthier. But where are the recovery related changes that are going to address your drinking?

Purplrks3647

Welcome back Lucinda Hope all goes well for you tomorrow. Talk to you soon!

Anna

It's good to see you back, Lucinda.

Lucinda2

That made me cry, in a good way. Thank you.

Lucinda2

Ah, Hevyn, another name that gives so much. Thank you for being you!

Lucinda2

Thank you! I look forward to this!

Lucinda2

Thank you, Anna. I remember falling apart in another re-incarnation on this board, way past the 'I drink to much me', right back to 'I am an addict and my husband left' and just how gentle you were with me when I was incredibly vulnerable. That was a very long time ago. Thank you for being here for us all for so very long.

Lucinda2

Recovery-related changes? I am not so sure I even know what that means. I only know about life-related changes and 'i will not drink'. But what I do know is that has not always worked for me and you have been around here as long as i have so something is working for you.

Lucinda2

Right back at ya with those hugs, Least. Good to find you still here.

Lucinda2

Suze, you are awesome. I hope you know how wonderous you are. xxx

Mizz

Welcome bask, Lucinda!
Let us know how today goes.
Wishing you a peaceful journey into sobriety.

Hawkeye13

How is your Day 1 going?

Glad to see you back!