Ravel

I’m sober since September 2019, overall I’m fine. In hindsight, I went through different sobriety phases, from clueless to enthusiastic, then from clown to desperate, until I eventually developed some sense for this condition, for recovery and myself. A couple of pennies had to drop until I got there.

One penny dropped today: Therapy is great, but once I stop reaching out, I’m in trouble. My perception was and is a trap, there are some basic skills I have to learn. I’m just sitting on the Worry-Go-Round with an 80-Watt-smile pretending everything is alright. It’s not.

The last days I listened to a lot of AA-meetings on Zoom. Before the pandemic, I visited some meetings here in my neck of the woods, even regularly, but I doubt I was even capable of listening back then. Today I am. Listening to all these meetings I started to feel sheltered again. In the 11th meeting, a lady from Louisiana jovially coerced me to switch on audio & video to take part and share. Question: Who can resist southern hospitality? Answer: Certainly not me. Once I was talking I was overwhelmed by how happy I was all of a sudden.

My CBT-therapist used to urge me to follow my instinct. My first instinct was to give it a try, walk the second mile and work the steps with a sponsor. I’m very happy with that decision, there is a real chance for me.

Well, I wanted to write a longer text about my first 18 months and now I’m sitting here, happy and proud about my decision. That’s the end of that longer text, I’m rather in the mood to look forward. Maybe that’s the best I can say about my changes during that time: I’m way more open-minded (I’m too old for attitudes anyway, I’m afraid) than I was back then in 2019. There are problems, and I am going to face them. Even if it took me a while to understand a couple of things. That’s alright. Or as a wise Spaniard once declaimed: “Wanderer, there is no road, the road is made by walking.”


I think he’s right.

least

I hope working the steps with a sponsor helps you in your sobriety.

Obladi

Ravel, how lovely to hear from you!
I'm so glad, too, that you've decided to work the steps.
AA has been a challenge for me, but that's not a bad thing.

There's a difference between working the steps and attending meetings, as I'm sure you are aware.
The first part has been very helpful to me and my spirituality/learning how to be a decent part of this earth community. The second part has been an exercise in executing the first.

O

Ravel

Hey Obladi! :o)

Indeed, my plan is to find a meeting next week that’s compatible with my time zone. After some weeks I’ll approach a member and hope he’s willing to take me.

You won’t remember, but you urged me in the nicest way on my first days to be open-minded and try some meetings. I really hope everything is alright in the obladisphere!

anxiousrock

It will help a lot! For me, AA is free, and better than any therapist (someone who has never been an addict cannot understand addiction). Each and every therapist I saw said I was fine. AA tells me the truth, not what I want to hear, but what I need to hear.

Anna

I think that following your instincts will always lead you in the right direction. Sometimes I think of it as listening to my soul, which I had silenced for many years. If your instinct is telling you to try meetings and a sponsor, go for it.

Dee74

Good to hear from you Ravel. I hope you’ll get a lot out of the steps.

D

FlyingDutchMan

This really made my day, such a funny and accurate way of making a point.

Good luck on the steps, I hope they bring you everything you hope for and then some.

Obladi

Oh, but I do! I believe AA was your very last alternative if things got very dire.

Thanks for your good wishes. I’m doing really well, all things considered.

fini

Ravel, great to see you again.
i took a long time before i was willing to do the step-work, and willing to see i needed to do it.
and much like O said, as far as the rest.
wishing you continued discovery and yes, there is a real chance for you!

Kaily

Congratulations on your 18 months and I hope you find the steps both healing and therapeutic.

Steely

That's awesome Ravel.

I don't go to aa anymore, but I like knowing about the steps.

FreeOwl

Heya Ravel! good for you!!

I never wound up doing the steps with a sponsor, nor all-at-once in the prescribed manner. I kinda did them along the way over the course of the first two years, through a series of efforts and on my own / with help from a therapist.

Maybe it's time I re-did them and did 'em with a sponsor..... I'm sure it would help bring forward additional areas for growth and progress.

The steps are never "done" - in my opinion. Over the years, I've re-done a step or two. Some days, I've found myself working on a step several. times in response to life.

Maybe that's how it works best for me....

Anyway - good onya!!! In my experience, only good comes from it.