GerandTwine

Hi FF

If you stop drinking and drugging for good, there will be nothing wrong with you. I think you can come to believe that. Ignore what other prejudiced people might say or what you might think they think. You are not that important to them.

Take advantage of all the counseling you can get and trust that person with all your heart. If I were a counselor, I think it would be very satisfying to have a client like you because of your brains and your being right on the cusp of breaking out into a good life of your own.

Remember the two last weeks of 2020 as an incubator, the birthing place, for you finding out how YOU can begin to solidify your OWN IDENTITY in order to live independently in the world; living and satisfying the desires YOU have to live happily in within YOUR OWN IDENTITY. Your mind and your body deserves that from you. You are certainly smart, rebellious, and stubborn enough to make and secure real changes in your life. You can start by making that Big Plan you know all about.

GT

MythOfSisyphus

If someone else wrote all of the posts you have here and you read them, what would you think? I know you're concerned about school, etc but I really think at this point you need to take a step back and get your life under control. We all care about you, FF, and don't want to see you miserable. For many of us addiction is the main enemy but you have some other challenges as well. I can 100% understand wanting to avoid the hospital and I am the same way, but there's no reason to continue to suffer if they can help. It's worth a try, FF!

TheAten

This one line sums up pretty much the entirety of my drinking “career”. I may very well have this posted on a canvas and hung somewhere prominent - so simple, yet so powerful. Thank you for the reminder.