Two Weeks
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 138
Two Weeks
Today is two weeks sober for me. This isnt my first time on the relapse carousel, but it feels different this time and I feel great. Part of it I believe is that I am actively posting and involved in SR. I dont miss shaving with the shakes, playing the got to make it through work. so I can take the edge off, liquor store rotations ( I even knew shift change at the closest one so I wouldnt get the same guy twice in the day), the fear of opening texts and IM's the next morning, etc. Im eating well, reading and excising to keep busy and enjoying every morning I wake up!
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Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
That is great izzy. When something clicks and feels more final, that is a great base to build on. Keep trying to add tools to the tool box to stay sober. What has tripped you up in the past? Maybe spend a few of those wonderful calm peaceful mornings jotting down a few thoughts on ways to stay sober through the highs and lows that come at us.
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Join Date: Jan 2021
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 29
There's a quote from one of my favorite recovery books by Chris Grosso called "Dead Set on Living" that I thought of when reading your post.
"The spiritual teachers, poets, scientists, psychologists, punk rockers, hip hoppers, and skaters I've met in my quest to understand healing and relapse have taught me that the decisions we make today and each day moving forward are what determine whether we're going to show up for ourselves or numb the f*** out, be of service or be a menace, destroy illusions or inhabit them, live or die. And today, I'm not ready to die. I'm dead set on living. My hope is that you are, too."
I know that feeling of something being different this time. I like to think of it as being in a state of grace. It's a good place to be! Congratulations on two weeks!
"The spiritual teachers, poets, scientists, psychologists, punk rockers, hip hoppers, and skaters I've met in my quest to understand healing and relapse have taught me that the decisions we make today and each day moving forward are what determine whether we're going to show up for ourselves or numb the f*** out, be of service or be a menace, destroy illusions or inhabit them, live or die. And today, I'm not ready to die. I'm dead set on living. My hope is that you are, too."
I know that feeling of something being different this time. I like to think of it as being in a state of grace. It's a good place to be! Congratulations on two weeks!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 138
S19, thanks I will. The major trigger has been my mom's health since dad died a year ago. He did everything for her, she doesnt even have an atm card. So along with forensic accounting in the begining and getting things in order, she falls and brakes her hip in March. Relapse... the stress, in home care, bills, rehab at home because of Covid. Everything is going fine and then she falls again a month ago with a fractured ankle.. relapse. She is a horrible patient and see herself as 100% competent. She may be 25% at best as Ive noticed she is probably in the beginning stages of altzheimers. Wont go to a home and she said she will die in her house of 50 years before she goes to a home. I visit her daily and we have home care a few days a week. She is a full time job. Soooo... When the night my dad died, I promised to take care of mom. I realize I cannot fulfill this promise drunk and Im going to hold myself to that. What happens with my mom is out of my control, so Im not going to kill myself with booze to gain control. Kind of an epithany two weeks ago.
Kateobr, thanks for the quote.It couldnt fit my situation any better. I will check that book out. I love to read!
Kateobr, thanks for the quote.It couldnt fit my situation any better. I will check that book out. I love to read!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Way to go Izzy. Clearly you've been through a lot and I understand it. My mom wouldn't leave her house either, and had dementia after her stroke, so we had to get caregivers.
I commend you for your amazing effort, especially with so much weight on your shoulders, and after your dad died.. man that's a lot to deal with. Just keep on what you're doing!
You're really doing great, man.
I commend you for your amazing effort, especially with so much weight on your shoulders, and after your dad died.. man that's a lot to deal with. Just keep on what you're doing!
You're really doing great, man.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,598
Oh, Izzy, I know the stress, the strain. I've been under a lot myself lately, but swear on all things noble I am so glad I have not picked up throughout. The very thought horrifies me. Two weeks is monumental izzy when first we make the decision to hold our own. First time for me after many attempts. But it's happening, and it's good.
Your mom not having a keycard reminded me of my mum. We got her her first keycard, and she couldn't figure why it wouldn't work. She was inserting her department store card by mistake. A long queue stood behind her patiently. Poor mum.
We can do this thing izzy. Let's just keep going. We have nothing to lose but the insanity.
Rock on izzy.
Your mom not having a keycard reminded me of my mum. We got her her first keycard, and she couldn't figure why it wouldn't work. She was inserting her department store card by mistake. A long queue stood behind her patiently. Poor mum.
We can do this thing izzy. Let's just keep going. We have nothing to lose but the insanity.
Rock on izzy.
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