Calicofish

"The goal isn't just to be sober. The goal is to build a life that you don't need to escape from."

I read the above on another forum and thought that just summed up sobriety for me in a nutshell. I hope everyone can achieve this goal. Keep on trying!

CF

Erica375

Perfect! Thank you.

MythOfSisyphus

A beautiful sentiment, @Calicofish!

bcct

Thanks, Calicofish.

I've been feeling for a while that alcohol is only a part of what I'm trying to change. The drinking is woven into all sorts of other problems. That means that, for me, just quitting drinking doesn't solve everything. But its a great place to start. As long as the alcohol is still there telling me: 'This feels ok. You are happy like this. You don't need the change.' I'm not going to move forward.

Aellyce

Exactly, thanks for putting this upfront in a thread, Calicofish. This is my favorite part of recovery now (while still trying to finish up some less inspiring but necessary overdue stuff). I find building the new fun because you can be creative again with a clear mind, so the specific goals will be suitable to a new phase and interesting, not mere distractions. I think it's very important not only to prevent relapses with old behavior but also to make sure we do not develop other addictions and destructive obsessions in the future.

Steely

Sums it up for me too Calicofish.

Thanks

Calicofish

I've been building a new life for six years now. There has certainly been challenges and some setbacks and there has been times when I have wanted to escape and blot things out. I am working on another problem right now - getting off sleep aids. I am now 11 days without using something to help me fall asleep. I am staring at the ceiling in the night but eventually get to sleep. Fortunately, I am retired, so I do NOT have to get up at a certain time. So, my current goal is to not use anything to get to sleep and then my next goal is to tackle my binge eating. I know that I binge eat to soothe myself and sleep aids do make me hungry. Unlike others on this forum, I have not lost weight from quitting drinking, instead I've gained 30 pounds. It's really depressing to look in the mirror and see that but at least I'm sober.

DrunkenDonuts

Makes perfect sense.

aasharon90

Good job on your continued willingness to work on yourself
to become the best person you can possibly be inside and
out.

Remaining teachable is what will get you the answers you
are looking for to achieve those goals.

Summer is on it's way and with gardening for me and
getting in the pool for exercise is my own goal to achieve
while continuing my life in recovery retirement.

Keep up the good work..!!!!

Support, care, and understanding sent your way.

Suzieq17

Needed to hear this today, thank you for sharing.

anxiousrock

I am using this...I LOVE it. Thank you.

brighterday1234

Great quote and so true!

Grateful to be sober 🙏

least

I have built (still building) an enjoyable life sober. You're right about not wanting to escape it. I love my life too much to leave it and wouldn't do anything to destroy it. I am happier now and am satisfied with my life.

Vincent484

I was pretty much drinking to escape the mistakes caused by drinking

kateobr

"I was pretty much drinking to escape the mistakes caused by drinking"......THIS! So simple but about sums up the last few years of active alcoholism for me.

Now I am building a life I love. It takes time. I really put a lot of effort into this. I know if I stay idle I'm going to falter. I eat sleep and breathe my recovery right now. I meditate, go to the gym 6 days a week, go to as many online meetings as I can, ready a lot of books on recovery, I've picked up kayaking. Anything I can do that is healthy and gets me moving & working on myself.

Not to sound all sunshine and rainbows over here though. Something tough will come up in this process, usually something from my past with my kids and some way I royally failed them or let them down and I have to talk myself out of hitting up the nearest dive bar and drinking all my hard work down the drain. But I've found the longer I am sober and the more invested I become in my recovery, the less those moments come and when they do I can usually calm myself down and not react on those emotions, or I pick up the phone and call my sister who is almost 5 years sober. One day, I am certain, my thoughts won't even go to the drink ever when hard times come. Just gotta keep working to get there.

Runswithspoons

This thread is a happy place in a week of stresses, some unnecessary. Good reminder to keep perspective and focus.