GoodLife32

Is it common for people that meet in AA to develop relationships and hang out outside of the meetings? Has anyone made good friends in AA?

Or is it one of those things where you see a member outside of a meeting, you pretend not to know each other, as to remain “anonymous “? I guess I never really understood the “anonymous” part.

Zencat

Yes.

I've had the best experience with AA is the people that I have developed long friendships. Ask after a meeting if anyone is meeting up for coffee. I've done it and it was very fun and informative.

fini

yes, people can develop good friendships.
and yes, depending on the setting people can pretend they don’t know each other; case in point would be if we were both AAs and you ran into me when you were with other people. i might not acknowledge you so as to not inadvertently “out” you to your company, if i said hello to you your company quite likely would ask where i know you from.

BarbieKen

👫🏻👩🏾‍🤝‍👩🏽👬 🧍🏼‍♀️ 🧍🏽 🧍🏾‍♂️ Absolutely!! **

** Friends, Good Friends ..... A Huge Part of our social circle actually

Eddiebuckle

Yes, some of my closest friends are people I met in the rooms. These are people I admire who live with integrity and humility - which when I first came to the fellowship was the last thing I expected to find.

I would add this caveat (not that your post implied it): AA is not a dating service. There are some who treat it that way, particularly with newcomers. I would recommend steering clear of them as they apparently value their wants more than other people's survival.

GoodLife32

Yea I was referring more along the lines of friendship, not a romantic relationship.

Bubovski

I never made any new long term friends at AA meetings despite being secretary of two groups........... Maybe it was me. But surely not entirely.

theVman31

I bumped into some AA people from my local meeting from time to time in town or at their palce of work and i greet them and say hello as with anyone i know, with courtesy and even moreso with a fello aa member cause i know their fight

I dont personally get inot the habit of "hanging out" with people from the AA group. But thats just me...

Jillga

I am the same as Bubovski, I have been in the rooms for a long time, volunteered constantly, went to lunch with groups, I just never developed a good friend. Not sure why bc I usually make friends easily. I have been on zoom AA a LOT for 6 months and made one good friend through that who lives across the country. I have never met her, but we text/email daily and call occasionally. But that's been about it for me. I hope you make some good friends!

aasharon90

When going to lots of meetings, Step and Big Book studies,
conventions, etc, on a continuous bases, you begin seeing
many of the same folks there. They in turn see you.

You sit next to those folks, you stand around after meetings
and chit chat and sometimes meet for coffee or other outside
activities like golf or whatever interest you have in common.

As a mom and wife in recovery, I had to find balance and
responsibility in all I did.

Since I have been in recovery for 30 yrs now and with changes
in my life, i pretty much stay close to home and don't see the same
friends i had acquired yrs ago. However, if i do run into them,
I wouldnt hesitate to say hello and greet them with a smile
as friends often do.

As for as anonymous is concerned, we don't talk about their
business to others. If someone ask if Ive seen so and so, I
would happy respond honestly if I had or had not. But to add
anymore about them, stays with me if confided in me.

Here in SR and even tho I have not met anyone in person,
there are a few I, in my heart, feel comfortable referring to
them as a friend. Those, i enjoy walking side by side with
while traveling this road of recovery sharing our ESH with
and common interest.

brighterday1234

Everything turns out as it’s meant to turn out 🙏

FreeOwl

One thing that AA did for me was to put in my path a handful of people I could really look up to, be inspired by and feel connected with. Four people in particular who have been absolutely foundational in my sobriety. I consider them all friends, even though we don't really do much outside of meetings and social media connections / support. But.... were it not for these men, I'm sure I would not have gotten the benefit of AA that I did as a tool in my sobriety toolkit. Were it not for seeing one of them in particular - and seeing in him the possibility of ME twenty years from now..... I may still be drinking to this day.

Even the people who were negative, the people who were still sick, the people who were stuck in addictive behaviors even though they were showing up to meetings..... ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE were gifts. Gifts of insight. Gifts of awareness. Opportunities to look into the mirror of my own reflection as I sought to see how the things that annoyed me about THEM were reflected in me......

Not everything you find in AA will be 'welcome'.

But by welcoming AA as one of the tools of your recovery, you will find many of the things you need.

At least, that has been my experience.

Steely

I made 1 friend in the 5 years I attended. I don't see her anymore, but would be pleased if we met up again. I liked her.

I guess we had similar interests, not just stopping drinking.

Depends on the circumstance when it comes to acknowledging someone, but was always mindful of the rule of "Anonymity".

I never went to coffee shops or anything, but hung around at end of meeting for a cuppa, put away the chairs, take down the banners, etc. I liked that informal bit.

Donnylutz

For me, the best part of AA was some of the friendships I made. 💙

EndGameNYC

It can be a challenge to build friendships with people who know things about us that we might not have brought up under different circumstances. Before we get to know each other. And the other way around.