WaterOx

Do you feel like a lot of your drinking had to do with avoiding things in life?

doggonecarl

I drank because I liked how drinking made me feel. But I don't doubt some of that drinking was to avoid feelings of discomfort.

advbike

One of the hallmarks of addiction is the inability to deal with the normal ups and downs of life.. we addicts have low emotional resilience, and yes, as a result we do try to avoid pain. Addiction is avoidance, by it's very nature. I am also a procrastinator, another form of avoidance. One of the hallmarks of the recovery process, and strongly advocated in 12 step groups like AA, is Acceptance. It is the heart of the Serenity prayer for example. Through acceptance we learn to deal with things without drinking and avoiding.

Sober45

Absolutely. I'm 11 months sober and it's been a year of facing things I used to drink to deal with. Housework, parenting and work stress were all triggers. But somewhere along the way I started drinking in response to everything because I think the alcohol had messed up my "normal"...I was anxious pretty much all the time. What started out as my quick fix (alcohol) turned on me and became a beast onto itself.

I'm still working on keeping the house clean but I'm a good Mom now, hands down. Nothing like a clear conscious.

Kaily

Indeed. Sometimes it is a daunting thought that I will never be able to avoid life again.

But I chose sobriety so I'm sticking with that - difficult feelings and all, it is still worth it.

anxiousrock

Yes, I drank to avoid feelings. Mainly anxiety.

SoberInCLE

Drinking enhanced and kept hidden a life where I had set a low bar for myself.

WaterOx

wow so many great responses and they all resonate big time but I identify with this one the most. Do you think it’s a fear of success? Fear of entrapment? Those are things that come to mind for me.

Dee74

I drank for a whole lot of reasons, but to avoid pain was a large factor.
I also feared a good many things.

I might have characterised it as a fear of failure/success at one point but the reality was I was scared of change. Not drinking was agonising.
My drinking life was horrible but I felt familiar in it.

The thing was my drinking life became so horrible I could not bear it either.

Something had to give.

The thing is...I had no real evidence about what my sober life would be like. I had a month here a few months there but no more than that and most of that was sheer teeth grinding effort, quite honestly waiting to drink again.

Once I accepted the need for change and gave myself to it, took that leap of faith, things got better...not straight away but inevitably.

All the things I feared - pain, change - were nowhere near as terrifying or as agonising as I’d suspected/feared they might be.

D

lessgravity

Yes yes and yes. Quitting finally allows you to start dealing with all that you have run from. I still find the same habit of avoidance rears its ugly head. There's work always to be done.

SoberInCLE

Fear of entrapment and fear of success both makes sense, WaterOx. Personally, I fear failure and poverty the most. I experienced a pretty down 20's to early 30's - job loss, broke, no self confidence, depression. There were a lot of hard experiences and I blamed my self a lot since I never could see drinking as a problem. I could almost laugh about it now, but the emotions are still there.

sortofhomecomin

I was pretty successful in my 20s and early 30s, albeit riding high on my out of control ego and self-will run riot, as the AA Big Book puts it. Now in my forties I am experiencing those issues you talk about - job loss, no self-confidence, etc . However I have realised that picking up a drink again is not going to help me dig me out of my rut.

SoberInCLE

Sortofhomecomin, I am sure you will get there. Taking the alcohol out lets your talents flourish not the other way around.

Mizz

I dont know how to think about your question, in all honesty?

Im an alcoholic. I drank for any and every reason. I had a good day and I would drink. I had a bad day and I would drink. I felt emotional (happy, sad, angry etc) I would drink. I bought new pants and I would drink. I mean, I was drinking.

So yes I drank to avoid, but I also drank over anything and everything.

least

I was an alcoholic procrastinator. I notice that now I'm sober, I usually take care of things right away.