Flowing

This is my first sober day of the rest of my life.

I've been experimenting with the torturous hamster wheel of drinking, sobriety, moderation etc for 10 years.

My mental and physical health are both in decline and i have had enough.

I have got a load of quit lit at home that I'm going to read as i find this extremely helpful in gaining the right mental perspective and I am going to formulate a plan.

The first part of that plan is something I have never been brave enough to do before.....

I'm going to say the words "I don't drink" when I need to rather than "I'm taking a break" "I'm on the wagon" etc. I know this might sound small but to me it is crucial.

I am going to engage here frequently too so hopefully thats OK!

Cheers.

Be123

Nice job Flowing.

What is your plan for the rest of the day? What you going to eat? When is bed time? What are you going to do to have fun?

Flowing

Thanks Be.

I'm taking it easy at work today then I plan to go home and have a heart to heart with my partner, she needs to know the truth about my drinking and my commitment to sobriety.

I'm going to cook a nice healthy dinner and catch up on the TV series that I have not really watched as I've either been drunk or passed out.

I'm going to put some thought into a proper ongoing plan too and for fun I think I'll keep it simple and walk the dog before getting an early night.

Sober45

Sounds like a plan.! Why not stick to this thread and post your progress/feelings daily? I found it really helped in the early days.

I had to convince myself that drinking is bad so I used a lot of self talk also and still do. Otherwise, I felt like I was missing out.
Some of my thoughts went like this:
"drinking is killing society and I don't want to be a part of that"
"the only people that gain from my addiction are big corporations...they're feeding off of me! Do these big wigs even drink? I bet a lot of them don't"
"drinking a known substance that is toxic to the human body is NOT NORMAL"
"I'm not a puppet, I can be whatever I choose to be"

And sure enough, almost 9 months sober after drinking EVERY SINGLE DAY for years and I'm here...sober and content in being so. Life is still hard but it was absolutely horrendous in my drinking days.

You can do it!

Be123

Good plan! I found that by coming up with a plan (minute by minute, hour by hour in early weeks) I could avoid the worst of cravings, and have a plan to deal with the ones I couldn't avoid.

I see themes in people's posts: eating well (porridge or other slow release carbs) helps with anxiety and feeling physically ok; exercise releases feel-good chemicals to the brain (and I'm led to believe help the brain recover more quickly); sleep helps you recover; some sort of therapeutic (AA, therapy, counselling, mindfulness etc) work helps with the guilt and understanding the illness; work or being useful and busy adds to our feeling of effectiveness.
m

I add 'fun' myself because what is life without it? I enjoy myself much more now than when I was drinking...I have a little dance sometimes when i hear a good tune, never did that drunk!

Add to all this committing not to drink to someone - here, AA, someone else you are accountable to - helps keep it on focus.

So I would plan my days to take care of all those things, and found my days were pretty full.

travelbug

I am powerless over alcohol. I am a high functioning alcoholic. But it is starting to effect my health. I am at least 50 lbs over weight. I am 5"8 in tall, weighing in at 200lbs. I am disgusted with myself, embarrassed. I see the way that people look at me funny when drinking. I am taking control over my life. No more binge drinking, No more drinking period! I will be right here with you step by step.

Flowing

Sounds like very sound advice. Thank you Sober. I'll definitely be checking in daily and the reinforcements of the negative effects of alcohol will come in handy when the cravings hit and the AV kicks in.

Flowing

loving your determination! Too right, lets fight this together!

LumenandNyx

That is a brilliant plan. It might just be the only thing you ever need to remember.

Anna

I'm glad to read this, Flowing. And, I'm glad you added the word 'fun' to your plan.

tornrealization

I don't drink.

It's very powerful. You say it out loud, you say it in your head when tempted. You just keep saying it. I'm 1 year 8 months in and I keep saying it. Sometimes when I'm really going toe to toe with cravings with the AV I just shout "I don't drink!" Then I kinda laugh - cause why am I fighting with you AV.

If you say it enough - even if it's just in your own voice in your head - it becomes second nature.

The other ideas people listed are good as well. If you're into logical/science/corporations type stuff you can really read up on how bad it is for you and how badly the truth is being hidden for profit.

Others have found a lot of help with AA and other groups. Some of us use these boards. In addition to saying outloud "I don't drink" have some other support avenues whatever they may be.

I wish you the best!

Khorhey

Just left my liver doctors office. He’s a big wig in the field. They have 3 fibrosis drugs in stage 3 trials. That could help some people. Hopefully as soon as next year they could be available.

He said the alcoholic beverage control in the state say some store sales are up 300 percent during the pandemic. And some hospitals are getting many more end stage liver disease patients. Many in their 20’s and 30’s. Scary stuff. There’s not much they can do for them.

brighterday1234

I found saying I don’t drink because I’m an alcoholic was really crucial my early sobriety. No bolt-hopes to run down and it’s the truth. Everybody accepted it and was understanding. Kept me sober 🙏

Dee74

good for you Flowing

D

Flowing

Thank you everyone for your encouragement and support.

Yesterday evening I had an honest and open talk with my partner about everything and she is in full support of me. This isn't the first talk of this nature we have had, she is becoming very familiar with the abstain/relapse routine but I think she could sense my commitment and acceptance.
I honestly don't know why she has put up with the cycle of addiction for so long and I feel terrible for putting her through it but her patience will not last forever and the only way from here is the way I'm going, sobriety.

So, day 2 today. We're off for a 4 day break together in a couple of days. I plan to read as much quit lit as I can whilst we are away, I think it will be the perfect opportunity to get my sober life on the right path.

Be123

Good work flowing. Sounds like a good time or a break

Whats the plan for today? What's on the
menu? Any chance to exercise? Any good songs you haven't heard for ages you need to get back on the playlist?

Flowing

Thanks Be. last day of work today until Tuesday next week. My partner is out this evening which is usually a huge trigger for me so I'm going to take the dog for a long walk and get a load of food! I'll probably stick pretty close to this forum later and watch pod casts, read some quit lit.

I love sober sleep so I'm looking forward to another night of zzzzzz! One of the most horrible aspects of drinking for me was the night terrors and anxiety through the sleepless nights.

Noam19

Flowing, just stick with that plan. It may be boring at first, but routine...routine...routine...can be your best friend. It'll get easier as get a few weeks under your belt, but you still have to stay mindful of every thought or craving that pops up.

But even more critical...keep talking to your partner. Trying to shield them...or in my face avoid perceived shame...just makes it harder. Transparency, I think, is one of the biggest allies of sobriety.

DriGuy

Yeah. "I'm on the wagon" or "I'm taking a break" is a literal temporary situation, and it's critical that any attempts at recovery don't involve getting on and off the wagon or even considering such "reverse" breaks from sobriety. Taking a break is just a short break in your routine. The harder part of this part of the plan is internalizing "I don't drink." Making it apart of your default self, something you are proud of, is where it's at. Hard? Of course, but not forever. Eventually not taking a drink is as easy as falling off a log. It will become that elusive "easier softer way."

I'm happy you are here. I wish you the best.