2 Birthdays this Weekend
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
2 Birthdays this Weekend
Hello my sweet SR family,
On Saturday I turned ONE, my sobriety birthday and today I turned 36, my belly button. Last year, I knew that I could not go into another year drinking and killing myself, that I would die and that would be it.
Today, I have more work to do. A lot of work. But I am sober. I am happy and working towards freedom. I have new friends who support me and are like family. My family and I celebrated today and they are proud of who I am today, knew this was who Iw as all along. My fellows are there for me and I will soon become a sponsor, God willing. I am connected to my God today and more in touch with myself and my higher power on a spiritual basis that I never thought possible.
I am kinder, more compassionate, more present and more thoughtful of others. I default to the tools I have been given by AA and have a sponsor to call anytime I need. I always have someone to call and anyone can always call me. I am there for people. I help and do service when asked.
I can see my defects today, they are glaring. I feel joy, but I also feel a lot of pain. This is not easy. But it is worth it. I am learning to live with pain, not soak it in alcohol. I lost two people close to me a week ago, my mother has a mass in her breast that she will need biopsied. There is unease with the pandemic and I miss meetings. But I trust God, am trusting the process. And I know, for certain, that a drink will not fix any of this. I am stronger today, living with fear but embracing it as well. I have God today.
This year started with me logging on here, searching for a solution. What I found was a community of people who opened their hearts and typed non stop love onto my threads. I loved you too and am rooting for you all. You rooted for me. I spent so many late nights terrified but clinging to this forum for dear life. You have no idea how vital this forum was to my staying sober in my early days, when each day, hour, minute and breath seemed insurmountable. You helped me, and kept me here.
So, I am here for you. I will keep logging on to see my SR family. Cause that is what we are, family. And a while ago I transitioned from having to be here, to wanting to be here. I GET to be here with you. What a gift, what a blessing.
Thank you and now I go help someone.
Love you all!
Nic!
On Saturday I turned ONE, my sobriety birthday and today I turned 36, my belly button. Last year, I knew that I could not go into another year drinking and killing myself, that I would die and that would be it.
Today, I have more work to do. A lot of work. But I am sober. I am happy and working towards freedom. I have new friends who support me and are like family. My family and I celebrated today and they are proud of who I am today, knew this was who Iw as all along. My fellows are there for me and I will soon become a sponsor, God willing. I am connected to my God today and more in touch with myself and my higher power on a spiritual basis that I never thought possible.
I am kinder, more compassionate, more present and more thoughtful of others. I default to the tools I have been given by AA and have a sponsor to call anytime I need. I always have someone to call and anyone can always call me. I am there for people. I help and do service when asked.
I can see my defects today, they are glaring. I feel joy, but I also feel a lot of pain. This is not easy. But it is worth it. I am learning to live with pain, not soak it in alcohol. I lost two people close to me a week ago, my mother has a mass in her breast that she will need biopsied. There is unease with the pandemic and I miss meetings. But I trust God, am trusting the process. And I know, for certain, that a drink will not fix any of this. I am stronger today, living with fear but embracing it as well. I have God today.
This year started with me logging on here, searching for a solution. What I found was a community of people who opened their hearts and typed non stop love onto my threads. I loved you too and am rooting for you all. You rooted for me. I spent so many late nights terrified but clinging to this forum for dear life. You have no idea how vital this forum was to my staying sober in my early days, when each day, hour, minute and breath seemed insurmountable. You helped me, and kept me here.
So, I am here for you. I will keep logging on to see my SR family. Cause that is what we are, family. And a while ago I transitioned from having to be here, to wanting to be here. I GET to be here with you. What a gift, what a blessing.
Thank you and now I go help someone.
Love you all!
Nic!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
One year! What a milestone. I'll bet that a year ago, it seemed like a pipe dream, but then it happens. You saw it coming, but still when that day comes, it seems like a miracle, even though you know that if was your commitment and work that got you there. That first year, I fed on the simple gratification of the uniqueness of sobriety. We often talk about all the other good things that follow, and add that, "You can't just put the plug in the jug," but just "putting the plug in the jug" can be extremely gratifying, and that still holds true for me 24 years later.
But what about all that other stuff than needs to happen to stay sober? I don't know. Some things that made life better do require some effort, but I can't imagine that fumbling at those things would be enough to send a person back to the misery of drinking. I fumbled a lot, and still do, but drinking again was never a serious thought. Even as drunks, we knew we had to change some other things about our lives. Sobriety allows us to do those things, not so much that we have to do them to stay sober. I could be wrong, but that's how I perceive the sober life.
Some of these other issues take a long time, and you never finish, but you get better as time goes by, and each little step forward is a reward along the way. Even today, I find occasional set backs, stresses, and hair tearing episodes that require some solutions that I can handle more gracefully than I did before, and I think to myself with satisfaction, "I never could have pulled that off 25 years ago." And I have to credit sobriety for that. Watching a drunk trying to solve problems is a rather pitiful experience. They struggle or throw in the towel. They seem to work with limited options.
But what about all that other stuff than needs to happen to stay sober? I don't know. Some things that made life better do require some effort, but I can't imagine that fumbling at those things would be enough to send a person back to the misery of drinking. I fumbled a lot, and still do, but drinking again was never a serious thought. Even as drunks, we knew we had to change some other things about our lives. Sobriety allows us to do those things, not so much that we have to do them to stay sober. I could be wrong, but that's how I perceive the sober life.
Some of these other issues take a long time, and you never finish, but you get better as time goes by, and each little step forward is a reward along the way. Even today, I find occasional set backs, stresses, and hair tearing episodes that require some solutions that I can handle more gracefully than I did before, and I think to myself with satisfaction, "I never could have pulled that off 25 years ago." And I have to credit sobriety for that. Watching a drunk trying to solve problems is a rather pitiful experience. They struggle or throw in the towel. They seem to work with limited options.
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