freedomfries

When I was new to AA people would just give me their numbers but now I've been at my home group for years but just 16 days sober and looking to work the steps for the first time and I don't have any numbers. Should I say I'm looking for a sponsor in my share?

Dee74

No experience to share FF but hope you find someone.
I remember the usual advice was to come early and stay late at meetings and make personal connections that way?

D

Obladi

Absolutely!

if you are choosy like I am, you might form an idea of how you want to work with your sponsor, then keep your eyes peeled for someone who might fit the bill. I found my current sponsor by attending a ton of different Zoom meetings - when i heard her speak, I thought she might be the one. So I concluded my share with, "K, if you don't mind, I'd like to get your number after the meeting."

It was a little scary to put it out there like that, but you know any AA worth their salt will say "of course" when asked if they can talk.

Buttery

Some meetings ask for anyone who is available talk about sponsorship to put their hands up during a meeting. If you havn’t come across this then you could ask the chair as they may be familiar with who can and will do it and be reliable.
main thing is to find someone who you trust and can be open with. Depending on what is available some AA members are more old fashioned about the male and male or female and female sponsorship. This can be waved for different reasons such as sexual orientation. I have met boy/girl sponsorships that were both bisexuals, similar ages and generally into the same things like where they liked to go for coffee or even what sort of clothes and music they were in to.
if you find someone who you connect with and they have long term sobriety and commitment you can ask them if they will be your sponsor. If they haven’t done it before the worst they can say is no or they may ask if you are happy for them to take you on but be open with their own sponsor for guidance too.
I had one in the past who was older than me and had been a sponsor many times. Was asked at times when unsure if I minded that certain things be shared with their sponsor to get a second opinion. I knew who the sponsor was and had also been another option of someone I was going to ask so was not an issue at all.

Reid82

Get someone whose story you can relate to and who you think has good, solid recovery. A person who has worked the steps and you can feel confident in
talking about stuff to. Maybe go to a few different meetings and start talking to guys before or after the meeting.

PuckLuck

IMO, Try to find someone with a lot of time, because whatever they're doing is working. Best sponsor I ever had was 30 years sober. Got sober in his 20s.

wiscsober

yes you can include it in your share and then hang around for after the meeting....it may take a few times

PuckLuck

And you don't necessarily need someone with 30 years of sobriety, obviously, but I wouldn't work with someone who has less than 5 years. Also, I would try to find someone who actually works out of the Big Book and not the 12x12.

You're doing great, FF!

Anna

I hope you find some to sponsor you.

MaximusD

Another thought. There are probably people who want to sponsor but are afraid to speak up. You might need to as others suggested. After considering this though I think I would rather have a sponsor that was NOT afraid to speak up

Kdon853

Find someone with good sobriety and ask. Sponsor guides you through the steps doesn’t have to be your friend. Have mine for over 2 1/2 yrs has good sobriety and he is not warm and fuzzy which works for me.

sugarbear1

Ask people for phone numbers. Call them up. Talk about recovery. Ask one of them if they have worked through all 12 steps and if they are currently working on step 12. Ask if they can sponsor you and if not, ask if they know someone who is seeking to sponsor another.