waahaaha boohoo
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: England
Posts: 315
waahaaha boohoo
OMG I feel so sorry for myself, you have no idea!
I'm 8 days into no drinking, but as I am a binge drinker and can sometimes go 10 without a drink (although lately more like 4) it's not that big of a deal. But I've just been paid (I work freelance from home) by a client and have cash in the bank.
My daughter who was meant to be getting married soon and has been planning her wedding for the last 18 months, seems to be totally taking her frustrations out on me because the wedding won't happen because of this scamdemic, I mean pandemic.
I haven't told anyone that I'm making a real stab at stopping drinking, mainly because I don't want to disappoint anyone and give them false hope AGAIN even though when I do attempt this, I don't go out with the intention to mislead people.
Basics is, because we can't gather in more than groups of 6 people the two family and friend groups 11 us altogether cannot get together to have her hen do. Well they could, cos her fiances family are millionares and have a big secluded house, which they hold bbqs at with more than 6 people. The hen party only has 11 people and they had a BBQ last week of 15 people.
But, they decided that they were going to stick with 6 person rule when I asked about holding hen party in their grounds
So Matron of Honour said we would wait and see what Borris said about gatherings and just leave it, until we could all get together.
In the meantime, spoilt princess, sister of the groom, who had her wedding in May cancelled and also her hen do, has actually stolen all the ideas we had been discussing for the hen do on our group on whatsapp (should explain, my daughter lives in another town from me her bridesmaids, friends, family are here, but she lives near the rich people haha). The grooms sister arranged their own little hen do, stealing all the ideas that were meant to be group ideas for all of us to join in and just totally effed things up. So the maid of honour and bridesmaids, up here, have arranged a do and a weekend away hen do her for the rest of us.
I knew nothing about this, until about 5 minutes before my daughter rang me and implied I was the instigator! She didn't want 2 separate hen do's she didn't want one yet as the wedding will likely be postponed. The person to blame is the millionaires daughter who is jealous because her hen do was done by video and is therefore taking over my daughters hen do. Even before this, her wedding was meant yto be before my daughters and she stole half the ideas my daughter had for her wedding
But for some reason, she's taking out all her anger out on me??God Freaking Help Me
I'm 8 days into no drinking, but as I am a binge drinker and can sometimes go 10 without a drink (although lately more like 4) it's not that big of a deal. But I've just been paid (I work freelance from home) by a client and have cash in the bank.
My daughter who was meant to be getting married soon and has been planning her wedding for the last 18 months, seems to be totally taking her frustrations out on me because the wedding won't happen because of this scamdemic, I mean pandemic.
I haven't told anyone that I'm making a real stab at stopping drinking, mainly because I don't want to disappoint anyone and give them false hope AGAIN even though when I do attempt this, I don't go out with the intention to mislead people.
Basics is, because we can't gather in more than groups of 6 people the two family and friend groups 11 us altogether cannot get together to have her hen do. Well they could, cos her fiances family are millionares and have a big secluded house, which they hold bbqs at with more than 6 people. The hen party only has 11 people and they had a BBQ last week of 15 people.
But, they decided that they were going to stick with 6 person rule when I asked about holding hen party in their grounds
So Matron of Honour said we would wait and see what Borris said about gatherings and just leave it, until we could all get together.
In the meantime, spoilt princess, sister of the groom, who had her wedding in May cancelled and also her hen do, has actually stolen all the ideas we had been discussing for the hen do on our group on whatsapp (should explain, my daughter lives in another town from me her bridesmaids, friends, family are here, but she lives near the rich people haha). The grooms sister arranged their own little hen do, stealing all the ideas that were meant to be group ideas for all of us to join in and just totally effed things up. So the maid of honour and bridesmaids, up here, have arranged a do and a weekend away hen do her for the rest of us.
I knew nothing about this, until about 5 minutes before my daughter rang me and implied I was the instigator! She didn't want 2 separate hen do's she didn't want one yet as the wedding will likely be postponed. The person to blame is the millionaires daughter who is jealous because her hen do was done by video and is therefore taking over my daughters hen do. Even before this, her wedding was meant yto be before my daughters and she stole half the ideas my daughter had for her wedding
But for some reason, she's taking out all her anger out on me??God Freaking Help Me
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
The pandemic is real.
Here in Canada, many baby and wedding showers are being done virtually. I have a close relative having a baby at any moment and she had a beautiful virtual baby shower. Everybody stayed safe and everyone had a good time. I understand your daughter's frustration with the difficulty making plans, but planning a wedding soon might not work out. Will all the guests be able to come and be part of a crowd? I know of some couples who are having a very, very small wedding ceremony (6 or so people) and then planning a reception party some time in the future when things improve.
Here in Canada, many baby and wedding showers are being done virtually. I have a close relative having a baby at any moment and she had a beautiful virtual baby shower. Everybody stayed safe and everyone had a good time. I understand your daughter's frustration with the difficulty making plans, but planning a wedding soon might not work out. Will all the guests be able to come and be part of a crowd? I know of some couples who are having a very, very small wedding ceremony (6 or so people) and then planning a reception party some time in the future when things improve.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Although she is your daughter try not to get caught up in this about a hen party. It's not the main event. So many weddings are not going ahead and if they do they are just small affairs with close family and friends.
though I'm not a big wedding fan at the best of times. It's just a day. Of course everyone wants a lovely day but it's only a day and the marriage that matters, not the day. It's what comes after the day that's most important.
Please try not to let it affect your sobriety. stay strong - you can do this and stay sober. Congrats on your 8 days
though I'm not a big wedding fan at the best of times. It's just a day. Of course everyone wants a lovely day but it's only a day and the marriage that matters, not the day. It's what comes after the day that's most important.
Please try not to let it affect your sobriety. stay strong - you can do this and stay sober. Congrats on your 8 days
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Originally Posted by Doriss 
Agree to disagree, yes? 
Originally Posted by Dee74
A reminder that politics is off topic here, guys.
Let me try the personal cards on the table approach.
The likelihood is no matter what political position you espouse there’ll be someone here that disagrees with you.
One members lack of national leadership is another’s Antifa insurgents spreading fake news. One members horror at armed personnel on the streets is anothers welcome return to law and order.
I wish I was exaggerating but I'm really not. Perceptions are that divided.
Arguments ensue and I and the other staff are the guys who have to cleanup those arguments. Every hour we spend doing that is an hour less for posts to be responded to.
My heart is heavy. I get you guys are scared angry and fed up, but the rules here state recovery first.
No ones ‘censoring’ you. It’s all there in the rules we all agreed to, rules of many years standing.
2.Outside Agendas: No posts of an overtly political or religious nature OR posts promoting advocacy of particular personal, medical, legal, religious, political, or non-profit causes. The forums are intended for offering mutual personal support related to recovery from addiction or recovery for family and friends. This is our primary purpose. Debating controversial subjects should be taken elsewhere. Limited references are allowed, but the forums should not be used to convert others. Do not post content or links or materials to and from sites that flame someone's person, religious beliefs, race, national background, sexual orientation, or recovery program/method. It is inappropriate to promote the use of alcohol or drugs on our addiction recovery forums.
We need to be a united community here focusing on the similarities, not the differences.
You can go and vent your hearts out many many many places on the web but it’s damaging to the cohesion of the community to do it here.
Dee
Administrator
SR
Let me try the personal cards on the table approach.
The likelihood is no matter what political position you espouse there’ll be someone here that disagrees with you.
One members lack of national leadership is another’s Antifa insurgents spreading fake news. One members horror at armed personnel on the streets is anothers welcome return to law and order.
I wish I was exaggerating but I'm really not. Perceptions are that divided.
Arguments ensue and I and the other staff are the guys who have to cleanup those arguments. Every hour we spend doing that is an hour less for posts to be responded to.
My heart is heavy. I get you guys are scared angry and fed up, but the rules here state recovery first.
No ones ‘censoring’ you. It’s all there in the rules we all agreed to, rules of many years standing.
2.Outside Agendas: No posts of an overtly political or religious nature OR posts promoting advocacy of particular personal, medical, legal, religious, political, or non-profit causes. The forums are intended for offering mutual personal support related to recovery from addiction or recovery for family and friends. This is our primary purpose. Debating controversial subjects should be taken elsewhere. Limited references are allowed, but the forums should not be used to convert others. Do not post content or links or materials to and from sites that flame someone's person, religious beliefs, race, national background, sexual orientation, or recovery program/method. It is inappropriate to promote the use of alcohol or drugs on our addiction recovery forums.
We need to be a united community here focusing on the similarities, not the differences.
You can go and vent your hearts out many many many places on the web but it’s damaging to the cohesion of the community to do it here.
Dee
Administrator
SR
The last thing you want is your thread about your specific problem blowing up into a political fight...and refereeing fights is the last thing Anna and I want to do with our time here.
Dee
Administrator
SR
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Now thats out of the way...
sounds like things are a bit fraught as they are all over the world right now - but you're not involved or instigating anything as far as I can see, so it will probably all blow over.
Fair enough I'm not a parent but I can't see any good coming of getting bogged in the drama - be the strong silent type on this maybe?
D
sounds like things are a bit fraught as they are all over the world right now - but you're not involved or instigating anything as far as I can see, so it will probably all blow over.
Fair enough I'm not a parent but I can't see any good coming of getting bogged in the drama - be the strong silent type on this maybe?
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 625
You don't drink alcohol anymore. How awesome is that?! 8 days without drinking is great! You can do this! In these very early days, make sure you're kind to yourself and protect your sobriety. For sure, we're all better able to cope with whatever comes our way when sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
One of the benefits of sobriety Doriss is being able to see the true dimensions of challenges and disappointments that come our way. Some of those turn out to be neither challenges or disappointments - rather just random events that don't really have anything to do with living a healthy and meaningful life. But when a curve ball does indeed come your way, sobriety allows you to reflect for a few minutes and, in the vast majority of instances - like the events you describe above - the issues turn out to be unnecessary drama of our own creation. I hope you can step back and gain some perspective on the relative importance of the parties and celebrations that are frustrating you at the moment. The pandemic has upended life for so many and has deprived untold millions of food, homes, incomes and health.
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