MaximusD

I don't have any evidence but I would think that anyone who crossed the line into problematic drinking due to a situation would then have that affliction even once they get out of the situation. So, the person who drank problematically and got out of the bad relationship would still problematically drink if they chose to after. I am sure there are exceptions but once you cross the line there is no going back for most people.

Surrendered19

Test your own theory then Flowing. Escape your situation and start living your true life, the life that you want to live. Then you won't drink right? If that is the logic you need to get free of alcohol, then do it. Whatever it takes to get healthy. I'm skeptical that addiction and alcohol work that way, but what gets you from drinking to not drinking is what you are after here. Now if all of this word-smithing is so that you can throw your hands up as powerless to escape and that living your best life is not possible - thus you might as well drink up - it is that dirty cunning little AV hard at work in your head.

Sober45

I got myself in tangles trying to answer this but I think it's a combination of the environment and , more importantly, her PERCEPTION of the environment.

No doubt, alcohol is a powerful sedative. If we move to a better environment, we will feel less stress and therefore less need to be sedated.

I was 3 years behind on my taxes back in 2015. I just kept putting it off. Of course, I drank more because of it. But in 2016 I was up against a wall and had no choice. It was hell but after they were done I felt enormous relief. I was never late after that. I didn't stop drinking until 2020 but I do believe the environmental change (less financial pressure) made it easier for me to get sober. Which is really opposite to how much of this works (i.e. get sober, then fix problem).

So yes, I agree that there is a situational factor with addiction. But that is no different than me joining SR. I have changed my environment and so my perception is changing with all this new stimulus.

In the example you gave, it still looks to me like this woman has not changed her strategy for dealing with stress. And since we can’t eliminate all problems, how is she going to cope when inevitable problems arise? The answer will come from within her, not from her circumstances (although it is a factor).

Obladi

I've read about people who have achieved sobriety by way of making major changes in the way they live their lives. I think that can be done, for sure. I also think it would be foolish to risk that wonderful new life for a drink, or in reality many many drinks. Are you thinking you would be able to drink "normally" if you could escape your life that you don't like? Or are you just saying major changes are needed to put you in a position where you won't need to drink anymore?

I believe that for many, many alcoholics, it was a situation or set of circumstances that created the fertile ground for addiction to take root. For lots of folks, the reason doesn't matter (because it really doesn't in regard to the "drink/don't drink" decision), for me it did matter. But the kicker is that I wasn't able to address what mattered until I stopped drinking. In the end, regardless of which "type" of alcoholic you are, all roads lead to "don't drink."

I believe that once you've pickled your brain, there is slim to zero chance you can unpickle it.

Dee74

There's something missing from this construct tho - the fact that dependence, and alcoholism are progressive.

The things I drank over at 20 were not the same things I drank over at 40 - I actually out drank some of my problems/situations, but I developed a nasty case of alcoholism on the way.

If you really believe your drinking is situational, change your situation.

D

lessgravity

Hoping on a future Other Person to solve the pain we cause ourselves is just another state of waiting - another reason to keep drinking. Regardless of the situation we are in, our own making, bad luck, good luck or something in between - we can save our selves. That's what matters most. You can be the hero of your own life. But it takes work.

fini

the analogy you use SOUNDS good, but i doubt it’s realistic in most cases. when drinking a lot and in such a way that one can’t/won’t stop because of “the situation”, it is extremely unlikely that one will then find or make a better situation for oneself.
mostly, it works the other way around.
in your analogy, the drinking person is unlikely to “break free”, and certainly unlikely to meet a loving, healthy partner. a healthy partner would be highly unlikely to be with someone who keeps drinking....
in any case, if the person can change all their circumstances, as you claim, then certainly they can also stop drinking in ORDER to change their circumstances.
breaking free from an abusive relationship and breaking free from continued drinking have loads in common.

Flowing

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I actually want to be proved wrong and I think I agree that once someone is addicted to alcohol that addiction will probably remain even if a situation is changed, even if it lies dormant until the next inevitable stressful event occurs.

It's important for me to be very open and transparent in relaying my AV thoughts as like I say, I desperately want them to be proved wrong and this platform is proving very useful for getting other perspectives, those which challenge my AV.

Thank you.