Absolutely fairly lost.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Originally Posted by taplow 
Also courage2 when I see your posts, for a brief moment I think that you're really this sexy couple of the avatar. I'm hoping it's the blonde who's posting while he's, I don't know, mixing a cocktail or whatever them kind of people do. I know that they don't sit there watching TV. Anyway, great picture. I guess she's saying, "why you've got me all me all wrong Johnny.".
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by nez
Taplow, I apologize that my attempt missed the mark. It won't be a problem in the future.
I've had a bit of bad news today so it all evens out doesn't it. I'm really getting sick of everything if I'm honest.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
We've all been pointing out your nastiness on this thread Tap. And it isn't under the surface. It's right on top. Don't take it too hard. Mean drunks are pretty commonplace. I was one. I drove so many people away in my life. When I was drinking I'd have rather kicked your arse than look at you, particularly if you were trying to be kind to me or support me. I reserved my darkest contempt for that crowd.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Originally Posted by Surrendered19
We've all been pointing out your nastiness on this thread Tap. And it isn't under the surface.
Sorry to read of your bad news, Tap. After trying for years, I finally realised that bad news/circumstances couldn't be drowned in a glass, bottle, can of alcohol, not truly. Yes, drinking myself into a blackout, or passing out drunk, stopped my brain working and being non-compus mentis, rendered me oblivious. But when I awoke, life was the same, if not exacerbated negatively, by alcohol.
Do you have any plans for today?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Don't go Tap. Stay here and talk about it. What makes us mean and condescending? The booze of course. That isn't who I am and I'm sure it isn't who you are. But that is what we become when we drink. Can't you own up to that without fleeing into the night?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 748
Thankyou Tatsy it's nice to know you're not in the group. As for plans, I'm not doing anything today; not really anything this week. I've bought lots of lagers, my idea being that with their volume they're harder to drink quickly. That's nonsense though as they taste better than most other drinks. I hate the taste of alcohol. I don't understand wine people who say they drink for the taste. I mustn't buy vodka because it tastes of nothing to me and it disappears really, really quickly. It's dangerous stuff.
No, I understand what you're saying about how alcohol doesn't solve anything or actually makes things worse. When did common sense come into it? I think this week is going to be an alcoholic one. I'm supposed to have what to me is a large amount of money appearing in my account any day now and I know that I'll try and spend some of it. I am fairly low today but I'll probably pick up. Hope you're okay.
No, I understand what you're saying about how alcohol doesn't solve anything or actually makes things worse. When did common sense come into it? I think this week is going to be an alcoholic one. I'm supposed to have what to me is a large amount of money appearing in my account any day now and I know that I'll try and spend some of it. I am fairly low today but I'll probably pick up. Hope you're okay.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 748
Surrendered19 it's not night here. I think drink just magnifies what our natures are. The nicest person I know drinks occasionally and her family will take the wine off her because she gets so silly. The drink doesn't make her nasty, because she isn't nasty.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Well I've just read back on Tap's posts, in light of posts #35 and #37 and the "nastiness, mean and condescending" references. I'm flummoxed. I've just read many of Tap's posts which directly refer to SR posters in a positive, kindly, thankful way. So is this a case of projection and blanketing?
SR isn't "therapy" it's a forum for expressing and receiving: support and experience. Nobody needs to be asked to "own up" to something.
Originally Posted by Surrendered19
What makes us mean and condescending? The booze of course. That isn't who I am and I'm sure it isn't who you are. But that is what we become when we drink. Can't you own up to that without fleeing into the night?
Coffee Snob
.gif)
Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 808
Originally Posted by taplow
Surrendered19 it's not night here. I think drink just magnifies what our natures are. The nicest person I know drinks occasionally and her family will take the wine off her because she gets so silly. The drink doesn't make her nasty, because she isn't nasty.
Everyone reacts differently to alcohol. I think depending on what's going on in a person's life, stress, depression, loneliness, drama, whatever, can be pushed over the edge if enough booze is in the picture.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
OK, you have lots of lagers and no plan. May I suggest one? If your body is physically dependant, then ditching the lagers and quitting cold turkey maybe dangerous. Could you seek medical detox assistance if you wish to quit?
I was physically dependant, risk of dangerous withdrawals, for my own reasons I didn't seek a medical detox. I know how difficult a taper is, but lager is the alcohol of choice, there's only so much fluid volume a body can take - wine and vodka are too high in alcohol and low in fluid.
In the UK there are NHS guidelines for self-tapering using lager, which I followed. I intermitted lager/water/lager etc., incrementally reducing over a week or so. Water addition was my own idea, so ignore that. Just to note, that SR does not endorse tapering, because it very rarely ends in quitting. When someone's down to a few a day, the AV seems to step in and say"you can control it and can carry on drinking at a lesser amount". But I was done, after 20 years drinking, so it worked. But I'd tried countless times before and it didn't. Knowledge of my AV tipped the balance in my favour.
But, that was me. Thinking of you, Tap. If I can do it, you can, based on your nearly 8 years.
I was physically dependant, risk of dangerous withdrawals, for my own reasons I didn't seek a medical detox. I know how difficult a taper is, but lager is the alcohol of choice, there's only so much fluid volume a body can take - wine and vodka are too high in alcohol and low in fluid.
In the UK there are NHS guidelines for self-tapering using lager, which I followed. I intermitted lager/water/lager etc., incrementally reducing over a week or so. Water addition was my own idea, so ignore that. Just to note, that SR does not endorse tapering, because it very rarely ends in quitting. When someone's down to a few a day, the AV seems to step in and say"you can control it and can carry on drinking at a lesser amount". But I was done, after 20 years drinking, so it worked. But I'd tried countless times before and it didn't. Knowledge of my AV tipped the balance in my favour.
But, that was me. Thinking of you, Tap. If I can do it, you can, based on your nearly 8 years.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Hey Tap. I have been a victim of my thinking, as well as a victor, many times in my life so I can relate. And you thinking that action is all is absolutely right. My addiction to procrastination was always coupled to my drinking - it didn't just go away once I got sober and ACTION is the only thing that resolves it. Action is all.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Do you want to stop drinking and be sober ? I'm not being flippant in any way. It is a genuine question. Do you want to be sober regardless of anything. Mot if you can understand why you drink or what may be or how you feel. Just do you want to quit drinking ? It really boils down to a simple point for me do I want to keep drinking or do I want to be sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 748
Hi Tatsy, lessgravity and ReadyAtLast.
Tatsy, the tapering wouldn't work for me. I don't have to wait for the AV to come in. I already know it. I think that I could just quit though as I haven't been drinking for that long continuously, it's only a few days this time without a break. I've been sober for most of the last year.
I do have a plan of what to do this week though so it's going to be very hard to stop now. The thing with any sudden stop is I can cope with it. I've got epilepsy and everytime I'm going to have a fit I think I'm going to die. There's no rational, oh I'm only having a seizure thought. Suddenly I'm alive and if you're alive you're conscious of death. We sleepwalk through life. I always feel like I'm on the edge. All I need is one clear day and then I'm fine.
I'm drunk now, you can tell that. I've been having a heated discussion by text with someone. You give me all this great advice Tatsy and I'm never able to take it in. I have to go back and look at your previous posts. There's no superflous stuff in them, it's all protein, the essence and you hit the target.
But, oh yes, my body isn't physically dependant. I've not been drinking for enough continuous days. Also I never - although actually I did the other day - wake up and start drinking. There's always a gap where I either work - if I can, which isn't often lately - or do something like reading. I usually get it to the afternoon. I think this week I might go stupid.
lessgravity, that's right. Thinking, or deep rumination, wallowing in a trough of self obsession. I don't like any idea of therapy for instance. All it would be doing would be making the maze even more complicated. You'd have more words in your head that can only tangle themselves even more.
I'm drinking too quickly. I kind of time it by number of lager cans as against hours and I think I've miscalculated.
ReadyAtLast, thinking, that's all it comes down to isn't it? But the is the thinker really in charge. I think there's something above that that really controls it. Something bigger than the little man in the head. I read how one of the suffering wives of George Best said how she knew he was going to go on a binge because he'd stop shaving and would start eating sugary things. Is he really in charge of what he's doing? Now for all people who don't know who George Best is. He is the most iconic, genius footballer legend ever in the UK, in the world. Please look at him on YouTube. Anyway a genius footballer, good looking, rich, loved by women had everything but sadly became an alcoholic and quit proper top football with Manchester United at just 26. Watching him is as artistic as watching ballet and watching him dying in the media of with liver cancer is one of the saddest things to see. I saw him once playing at Arsenal when I was a child. He obviously was hungover.
I'm talking like an ********.
See How I've wavered. I don't know what I'm going on about. I'll stop for the evening.
Tatsy, the tapering wouldn't work for me. I don't have to wait for the AV to come in. I already know it. I think that I could just quit though as I haven't been drinking for that long continuously, it's only a few days this time without a break. I've been sober for most of the last year.
I do have a plan of what to do this week though so it's going to be very hard to stop now. The thing with any sudden stop is I can cope with it. I've got epilepsy and everytime I'm going to have a fit I think I'm going to die. There's no rational, oh I'm only having a seizure thought. Suddenly I'm alive and if you're alive you're conscious of death. We sleepwalk through life. I always feel like I'm on the edge. All I need is one clear day and then I'm fine.
I'm drunk now, you can tell that. I've been having a heated discussion by text with someone. You give me all this great advice Tatsy and I'm never able to take it in. I have to go back and look at your previous posts. There's no superflous stuff in them, it's all protein, the essence and you hit the target.
But, oh yes, my body isn't physically dependant. I've not been drinking for enough continuous days. Also I never - although actually I did the other day - wake up and start drinking. There's always a gap where I either work - if I can, which isn't often lately - or do something like reading. I usually get it to the afternoon. I think this week I might go stupid.
lessgravity, that's right. Thinking, or deep rumination, wallowing in a trough of self obsession. I don't like any idea of therapy for instance. All it would be doing would be making the maze even more complicated. You'd have more words in your head that can only tangle themselves even more.
I'm drinking too quickly. I kind of time it by number of lager cans as against hours and I think I've miscalculated.
ReadyAtLast, thinking, that's all it comes down to isn't it? But the is the thinker really in charge. I think there's something above that that really controls it. Something bigger than the little man in the head. I read how one of the suffering wives of George Best said how she knew he was going to go on a binge because he'd stop shaving and would start eating sugary things. Is he really in charge of what he's doing? Now for all people who don't know who George Best is. He is the most iconic, genius footballer legend ever in the UK, in the world. Please look at him on YouTube. Anyway a genius footballer, good looking, rich, loved by women had everything but sadly became an alcoholic and quit proper top football with Manchester United at just 26. Watching him is as artistic as watching ballet and watching him dying in the media of with liver cancer is one of the saddest things to see. I saw him once playing at Arsenal when I was a child. He obviously was hungover.
I'm talking like an ********.
See How I've wavered. I don't know what I'm going on about. I'll stop for the evening.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
My knowledge of football is limited to watching England play in the World Cup, and sadly, I'm usually disappointed. I watched a a You Tube medley of George Best's best dribbles. What an amazing talent. I thought the video was speeded up, until I realised it was just George Best at sonic speed, and the rest were almost bystanders. How tragic that alcohol eclipsed everything in his life.
How are you today, Taplow?
How are you today, Taplow?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Ah, George Best. There are some people who transcend their sport, look like they're playing a different game to every one else. He was one of them. Made famous on t-shirts across the world for his classic (I'm paraphrasing): 'I spent all my money on booze, women and fast cars. The rest I just squandered'.
Paul Gascogne is more my era (I saw his England debut live at Wembley) - I find seeing him now tragically sad. Shows where alcohol can take you.
Happy to talk football any time of the day, Taplow, not sure it will help any but it's my first love ♥️
Paul Gascogne is more my era (I saw his England debut live at Wembley) - I find seeing him now tragically sad. Shows where alcohol can take you.
Happy to talk football any time of the day, Taplow, not sure it will help any but it's my first love ♥️
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 748
I realise that I'd already started a new thread so it's best to go on the other one. Or ignore the other one and go on this one. There's an old Arab proverb: A man cannot ride two horses at once, unless of course he has a very wide arse.
How am I feeling? I don't know Tatsy. I think just in a fog. Drinking just dulls everything. I'm glad you watched George Best. Also of course in those days most football wasn't on TV so they can only choose from a small selection of what he did.
Be123, I was an Arsenal fan but I'm forcing myself to take no interest now as I want to renounce everything. I want to be spare and sparse, bleak and bare.
Paul Gascoigne was brilliant. I don't think he was the same after he done his knee in though. Denis Bergkamp was the best of that time I thought - he seemed like he came from the future.
I was born and brought up near Arsenal, which I think was very lucky. Arsenal were special; they've never been relegated but also they've been promoted either - they just bribed their way into the top division after the 1st World War. Everyone thinks of Arsenal as Wenger. I can't believe that that was Arsenal. They were amazing then. I love to watch them from around 1998 until 2006. But my favourite Arsenal manager is George Graham and the best moment in football is Michael Thomas's season winning goal in 1989.
Yes, I've been diverted.
How am I feeling? I don't know Tatsy. I think just in a fog. Drinking just dulls everything. I'm glad you watched George Best. Also of course in those days most football wasn't on TV so they can only choose from a small selection of what he did.
Be123, I was an Arsenal fan but I'm forcing myself to take no interest now as I want to renounce everything. I want to be spare and sparse, bleak and bare.
Paul Gascoigne was brilliant. I don't think he was the same after he done his knee in though. Denis Bergkamp was the best of that time I thought - he seemed like he came from the future.
I was born and brought up near Arsenal, which I think was very lucky. Arsenal were special; they've never been relegated but also they've been promoted either - they just bribed their way into the top division after the 1st World War. Everyone thinks of Arsenal as Wenger. I can't believe that that was Arsenal. They were amazing then. I love to watch them from around 1998 until 2006. But my favourite Arsenal manager is George Graham and the best moment in football is Michael Thomas's season winning goal in 1989.
Yes, I've been diverted.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
