nez

I am not interested in being like my peers, I am busy enough just being my true self. I learn a lot from my peers though. A lot of my learning is by example and many times from my peers, it is things that I don't want for myself. :~)

Surrendered19

That is a pretty common fear among us self-centered addicts. I was worried about that too. Guess what? Nobody gives a crap what you drink and what you don't drink. It is only as big a deal as you make it. At most of those occasions, if you must go, you grab a tonic water, squeeze a lime into it, and off you go. It simply won't occur to others to worry too much about what you drink.

Hodd

I think you might be pleasantly surprised. It’s not the norm to drink excessively, and many people think it’s wrong to do so. No one will bat an eyelid if you say you don’t drink alcohol.

My “bar friends” drink a lot when they go out. They drink once a month maybe. They don’t have a problem with alcohol and can take or leave it. I, on the other hand, drank every day so had a problem. When I quit, I told my friends I’d become dependent. They were fine about it. There were no jokes or mockery. They’ve been my friends for nearly 30 years so agreed.

And then there are the times I go out with colleagues or acquaintances. They don’t bat an eyelid either. If anything, they’re slightly envious.

There are a whole stack of problems with quitting such as withdrawal symptoms, but what others think shouldn’t be one of them. If you quit now as a young man, you’ll have a brilliant life, plus sadly you’ll see friends get sick in future from drink and poor lifestyles. A friend of a friend just got cirrhosis from drinking. He’s a goner walking. There but for the grace of god go I.

Bilbao

In these situations nobody actually cares whether you drink or not. In my experience there might be a bit of surprise the first time you ask for a soft drink (especially with my history) but by the next time you'll just be the one that has the mineral water or whatever. It's just not an issue to most people.

PuckLuck

One of the most liberating experiences in life is when you arrive at a point where you really don't give a (bleep) about what people think about you.

MaximusD

I was worried about this 10 years ago so I have paid attention and I can say that everything everybody says in this thread is true. Nobody gives a damn if you drink or not and the only ones that do are probably alcoholics themselves and you make them feel self concious by choosing not to drink.

EndGameNYC

There were several times in my life when I didn't think I could go on living if I stopped drinking, which was a great excuse to keep on drinking. I stopped drinking a very long time after alcohol stopped working for me, when it was only making me sicker.

Nothing's changed: It's not fun.

You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. I might be curious about how that happened.

What is it that you hope to accomplish?

You will someday love yourself more dearly if you stop earlier rather than later. Aging drinkers get all kinds of great stuff...like diabetes and heart disease.

I was twenty-seven when I stopped. I'm happy to report that that was a very long time ago.

Noam19

Hey Flow. It's become glaringly apparent in the last few years how effective the media is at driving narratives and spinning the "truth". The power of advertising is very similar. I never noticed, until I realized I had a drinking problem, how prevalent the ads were. Anyone trying to get sober knows that every television show, sporting event, sitcom, internet meme and etc seems to contain some sort of reference to alcohol. 9/10 it's glorifying it.

However, the other thing I noticed in my early attempts, and current as well, at sobriety is that that 1/10 reference to alcohol is 100% true. You can also pick out the authors, reporters or screenwriters that have legitimately experienced or seen the horrors that alcohol can create. I try to pick those out now and use them as a true reminder. A look behind the curtain in you will.

brighterday1234

If you trust the process of recovery and commit to it then you cease to care about any of that. Your identity becomes that of a truly grateful alcoholic in my experience who couldn’t care less what society may or may not expect. The reality is that an alcoholics perceptions are greatly skewed towards any excuse that will get them drinking before they are recovered. This of course takes time and recovery work, however that materialises, depending on the recovery program being worked/lived. The reality is nobody else really cares and it’s wonderful once you realise, accept and embrace that. This applies to most things people worry about in life.

MaximusD

I listen to country sometimes and it kind of bothers me how so many country songs (songs in general really) glorify drinking. I like artists like Tim McGraw. He doesn't really sing about alcohol and actually quit drinking himself some time ago. One thing that makes me feel better on this topic is to see all the celebrities who have quit. They have all the money and ability to party and live the party life and choose not too. Tim McGraw for instance, on tour they used to drink to prepare for shows. Now he has a bus that is basically their gym and the band and all the other people involved workout before shows.