Anna

Jeff, yes, things around us are in an upheaval. But, that shouldn't prevent you from making a plan that can work for you as to how you will stay sober and how you will find a job. Not all plans work out every time, but if you don't have a plan, things might not change for you. None of us have control of the things happening all around us, but we do have control over what we will do each day to stay sober.

Dee74

My last word for now.
Nope.

Disagree strongly.
I've got a plan Jeff - both life oriented and recovery oriented these days, but still a plan to keep me doing well.

Just because there no blueprint doesn't stop me.
Unchartered waters need maps - uncertain times are made for plans.

I'd have much preferred to wing it - changing as little as possible clinging to a painful but familiar existence - but winging it bought me time and again to my knees.

If you try, and find your plan doesn't fit, you make a better one.
You don't dismiss making plans IMO.

I'm not sitting here trying to be a jerk...my fear for you is that you'll find yourself in despair again and you'll have nothing new in your utility belt to face it with

D

MythOfSisyphus

I'm glad you're doing well, Jeff! Sometimes I suppose just keeping your head down and moving forward is the way to go. Hopefully you're in a space where you've found coping mechanisms that don't involve drinking.

thomas11

To you and Anna, not particularly happy reading your responses, but my happiness does not play into it right? I'm not sure what the answer is at this point. I hear loud and clear a plan is necessary. So I guess I'll get working on that.

SoberLeigh

Well done, Jeff.

DontRemember

An old-timer at my court ordered AA meeting told me "you're not done yet" after I shared my 'plan' with the room.. I was angry as hell! Turned out he knew a lot more about getting/staying sober than me. I wasn't done yet..I was merely saying what I thought everyone wanted to hear..you know..like an active alcoholic would say anything and everything to be able to continue drinking,thus not even being honest with ourselves. After some solid sober time and working on all my nonsense it was plain as day that rigorous honesty with myself and others was the only way to get/stay sober.

Steely

Be sober and be happy Jeff.

Sounds like a great plan to me.

Might be wrong, but seriously, I do not sit around with a plan in my back pocket ready to cover every life contingency. I simply know now that I cannot and do not want to drink, and with this life begins to unfold.

Plans for me take place on a daily basis. Plans for the future, too. Going hiking etc., as Jeff has done seemed like a good plan. Maybe I don't get it, idk? I think just saying "Nope" to someone is a bit..... Sorry, Dee, but...and all respect, fair dinkum.

I'm more the type to adopt a "client centred approach", where trust in the individual to make decisions about their own life is absolutely paramount. Not drinking is key, and without it no good will come. No plans either. But believe also that support for a person to decide and make decisions about themselves is core to individual recovery. Finding self, mistakes along the way. Just don't drink. That's my plan.

I don't want to be contentious, but needed to say this as part of my own recovery. Me, being self efficacious.

Hey, just turned 6 months and I am so happy. My plan for today is to work in the garden and enjoy the sunshine.

Good luck with your own projects and doings Jeff. It's very cool to be sober. 😎

Steely

DontRemember, I'm not picking up on how Jeff is not being honest with himself ?

Dee74

On the contrary I think your happiness should be a primary aim for you Jeff - I just don't think you're very happy right now.

I'm not afraid of saying stuff people might not want to hear but I don't think my post or anyone else's should make you unhappy for long tho

I think people think plan and they instantly think 'hemmed in' - my plan is based securely on my continuing recovery but it's flexible in most other aspects.

Before March it was important for me to get out of the house. That directive has changed for obvious reasons but I've worked hard to stay in contact with people, and keep my mental health positive.

I've also kept up the things that help me stay well physically. even tho a lot of those things had to change in nature because I could not travel. I did my physio at home for example and I used telehealth for a while.

but...clearly not everyone agrees with me that a plan is necessary.
If you can find lasting recovery serenity and happiness another way, Jeff, go for it.

D

DontRemember

I never said he wasn't? I told a story about my experience in court ordered AA,where I was offended/upset because some old guy questioned my sincerity with what I said and in hindsight that was exactly what I needed to hear at that time. That old guy reminded me what personal accountability is.

Steely

Oh, I thought you were talking about Plans as was the focus of the discussion. Fair enough though.

Be123

This is an interesting and useful thread for me, so thanks Jeff and others for setting it up.

Plans - I really try each morning to make a plan for the day. Based on: what am I going to do today to support my sobriety and becoming a better/happier/more fulfilled person. I don't always do this but try to every day. It focusses me on what's important and, importantly for me, helps me remember the stuff I can't control and come to terms with that.

Longer term plans are hard for me at the moment due to so much flux, maybe that's why I'm sticking to the daily stuff?

Noam19

Good to see you back Thomas!