nez

When I decided to give sobriety a go, it wasn't because I was an alcoholic but because my drinking was causing problems. Going for sobriety let me know that I am indeed an alcoholic.

The good news is that fact doesn't have to cause chaos in my life, on the contrary that knowledge coupled with proper actions can lead to a life that far exceeds my wildest imagination. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not drinking alcohol, absolutely nothing!

sugarbear1

if you try to stop and find it difficult, then you might have a problem. Age is irrelevant. Alcoholism knows no boundaries. I wish you well on your sober journey~!

Sober369

I had to change the question from 'am I an alcoholic or not?' to 'am I better off just not drinking at all, or am I happy with the way things are?'. I had already, by that point, gotten past the trying to moderate question. It was drink and feel sick, or don't drink. I spent years trying to figure out whether or not I am an alcoholic, and it was a pure waste of my time. It doesn't matter. What matters for me is that when I drink, that's all I can do. There is no more to my life than drinking because when I'm not drinking I'm sick.
I hope you can get sober while you're young. It will make such a huge difference in your life.

Steely

I don't like the term 'alcoholic' much either, but alcohol sure has caused problems in my life. Major problems. Seems like you're experiencing big problems too.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but parents don't generally recommend rehab to their child unless they can see a problem. I think you can see the problem too. I think it's really smart of you to be thinking about it at such a young age. Wish I had done same.

How about setting an appointment to see an addictions counsellor? Talk about what is happening to you with a professional. Nothing to lose, and lots to gain.

Wishing you the very best.

Shealy

Like so many others who have responded already, I wish I could go back in time to age 20 and address my drinking. I drank a lot at university too, but because I was so young I always recovered quickly and I made good grades so I denied that I could possibly have alcoholism. Here I am a decade later, having wasted a whole lot of time, money and health on something that has robbed me of positive life experiences.

You have your entire life ahead of you, and I can guarantee you that you aren't going to wake up one day and suddenly be a 'normal' drinker. God, I wish I had known that a decade ago. Quitting is going to be a challenge, and no matter whether you go through rehab or connect with an outpatient program or what, the key is to have a plan. If that plan fails, figure out what was working and what wasn't, adjust your plan and try again. Do whatever it takes to create an alcohol-free life for yourself so you can look back in ten years and feel gratitude rather than regret.

DriGuy

Drinking is a big issue that every young person will have to deal with. It's legal, and for those underage, it's widely available, with peers encouraging others to do it. I remember those years way back when. I tried it, and actually had fun the first time. My friend and I laughed and laughed, fell down on the ground, and rolled around. Oddly, this was my first year of college, and rolling around on the ground was pretty stupid, but with enough alcohol it seemed like a reasonable thing to do. And a couple of girls from the second floor of a nearby dormitory were shouting at us encouraging us to act like idiots.

Fun for sure, but little did I anticipate what a future of drinking had in store for me. No one does, and I morphed from a rolling around happy drunk reveling with a friend to a serious and restrained drinker, restrained only in outward actions, but growing in consumption of liquor to eventually seeing myself as that stereotypical sad incoherent drunk unable to stop.

In retrospect, the scary thing was not realizing it was happening. There was a feeling of normalcy in the early years, and it seemed like everything was OK, until I started questioning my behavior, but still telling myself that I was probably alright. Then things turned bad. I was the sorry person I never intended to be. The opposite person of what I wanted to become.

I didn't lose it all. I had a good job. I had money and friends, although I'm not sure how long they would have remained that way, but I lost the me I wanted to be. This is no small thing. It's losing the most important thing in what life has to offer.

I won't tell a 20 year old not to drink. Things may turn out fine. But it's a risk, because there is no assurance that it will turn out fine. The best I can do is hope it works out, and maybe encourage them to try to observe themselves from outside, and keep track. Granted this is hard to do, because alcoholism, at least in my case, seemed to slip up on me when I wasn't watching.

One thing I am sure is that it is not necessary to drink to have a life better than you probably imagine. Maybe you can do both, but you don't need to drink to do it.

blazen

Problem drinking at 20 years old becomes catastrophic at 40 years old. Do yourself a favor and stop while you're ahead.

HeadEast

I have a different opinion. I will tell you not to drink.

froscow

I was 20 when a family member told me I had an alcohol problem. I thought no way....lots of people this age do this and parties, I'm too young for that. After that came years of more blackouts, drunk tanks, losing friends, losing homes, injuries, heartbroken family...and still so much denial. Alcoholism is cunning and insane.

Please stop now! You sound like how I was at 20. You sound smart and very self aware to come on here. And I'm really not trying to do the scare game here....I'm just being completely honest.

nez

I know that when I was 20, nobody could tell me what to do. I am a few years past that now and still nobody can tell me what to do LOL :~)
Being alcohol free is the best thing I have ever done. Being alcohol free is truly being free!

Today I don't need anything or anybody to be happy joyous and free. All I need is me. It is an inside job.

SoberCAH

Your description of your drinking history and your problems and experiences conjured up painful memories on my part.

I sure hope that you get help before you hurt yourself or someone else.

Your experiences are frightening to me.

My behavior at your same age was similarly painful.

Why go further down the hole toward insanity, legal problems and an inability to get and keep a job?

Help is available.

I sure wish I had gotten sober at your age.

Please stay with us, brother.

We would be honored to have you share the journey of recovery with us.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, JL234.

I am so glad that you found this forum and posted. It is very good to hear that you are questioning your drinking. You are beautifully young with the potential for a beautiful life ahead of you. Alcoholism will only place obstacles and roadblocks throughout the course of that potentially beautiful life.

You are questioning your drinking habits. Listen to that questioning voice, JL234. I ignored that questioning voice for a long time and missed so much goodness while in a drunken stupor.

I hope you choose a sober life. I have found that it truly rocks.

LastInLine

Well, just my opinion, but it's hard to tell. I don't want to offend anyone and I'm new here. But I don't really like the term alcoholic. I prefer the term addict. And I definitely was one and might be again the minute I start drinking again, hopefully never.

I knew people who drank like that all of the time when I was in college, in my 20s, and they just stopped doing it and either don't drink anymore or drink normally.

I didn't drink much all my life and then got drunk every day for 12 years after I was in my 40s. I never passed out at parties or did anything stupid or got into any trouble. But it slowly ruined my health and my relationships with others and was ruining my life completely. I saw the writing on the wall and finally stopped it. I have a lot of regrets now I have to live with.

So, no matter who you are or if you're an alcoholic or not, drinking alcohol to excess and getting addicted to it will mess up every single aspect of your existence.

My best advice is, just give it up now and don't subject yourself to anymore self abuse and suffering.

SoberLeigh

Thinking of you, JL.