the downward spiral.....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
the downward spiral.....
Anyone who follows my posts know that I recently relapsed. Well I have done it again. the fricking job interview fail triggered me and down the toilet I went.
In fact, I'm not sure what day it is. I think it's Sunday. I'm such a loser.
In fact, I'm not sure what day it is. I think it's Sunday. I'm such a loser.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
I am so sorry. You are definitely not a loser and definitely not the only one to relapse. Start again and learn skills on how to deal with situations that are a trigger. Other people here post ideas that will help you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
You are not a loser. Just an alcoholic. And relapse seems to be such a common thing, I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet Jeff. Can you seek some help from your new therapist? After two sessions I think he probably has a decent grasp on who you are and might have some insight for you. Perhaps ask for an emergency session tomorrow? Today is Sunday and you are here posting with us. Hang in there Jeff and dump your supply.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Surrendered19 
You are not a loser. Just an alcoholic. And relapse seems to be such a common thing, I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet Jeff. Can you seek some help from your new therapist? After two sessions I think he probably has a decent grasp on who you are and might have some insight for you. Perhaps ask for an emergency session tomorrow? Today is Sunday and you are here posting with us. Hang in there Jeff and dump your supply.
Last edited by Dee74; 01-26-2020 at 01:11 PM. Reason: rule 4
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
I take being a garden variety alkie in pride brother! Better than a very special one.
You helped get me sober. I thank you again for that. Now it's your turn, again to right your own ship. Like many here, I'm deeply rooting for you.
You helped get me sober. I thank you again for that. Now it's your turn, again to right your own ship. Like many here, I'm deeply rooting for you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
I think the sentiment trying to be expressed Jeff was that this thing we fight level-sets all of us and renders us helpless, regardless of our past. All of our Day 1's are the same right? The old life is gone and the new life must begin. Your past, which sounds awful and abusive and insane to me just going by your descriptions, is gone, and now here we all are. None of us is special to booze and we all have to be very humble to beat this.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
[QUOTE=thomas11;7368311]No, I'm pretty sure I am a loser. Someone recently told me I am a garden variety alcoholic and nothing special. QUOTE]
So you’d rather be a loser than a garden variety alcoholic? I disagree with the “nothing special” addition but I’m sure the member that posted that to you meant no offense. It Just sounds like an AAism to me. Every single person has something special about them in my opinion. Even “losers” like yourself
. I hope you use today (yes, it’s Sunday) to rest up and that you don’t feel too physically poorly. The other stuff can be addressed with your therapist. Hang in there!
So you’d rather be a loser than a garden variety alcoholic? I disagree with the “nothing special” addition but I’m sure the member that posted that to you meant no offense. It Just sounds like an AAism to me. Every single person has something special about them in my opinion. Even “losers” like yourself
. I hope you use today (yes, it’s Sunday) to rest up and that you don’t feel too physically poorly. The other stuff can be addressed with your therapist. Hang in there!
Last edited by greeteachday; 01-27-2020 at 06:53 PM. Reason: Original rule 4 edit in quote
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Jeff, I think you're special and I'm sad that you decided to drink again. You're not a loser at all because you're here. You decided that the job was not for you, and that's fine. Something suitable will come along, and as long as you are sober, you'll be ready. 
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Kerry, Ireland
Posts: 2,706
Sorry to hear that you drank again, been there on I don't know how many times and also not knowing what day it is! 
Have you a plan this time to stay stopped? Good to see you posting so quickly again, a good sign.
Have you a plan this time to stay stopped? Good to see you posting so quickly again, a good sign.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Hi Thomas!
I don't know what your feelings on AA are, but this is a good time for additional support. My wife and I did ninety meetings in ninety days when we quit drinking seven years ago, and we feel it gave our sobriety a solid foundation. I still go to meetings but my wife does not.
I don't know what your feelings on AA are, but this is a good time for additional support. My wife and I did ninety meetings in ninety days when we quit drinking seven years ago, and we feel it gave our sobriety a solid foundation. I still go to meetings but my wife does not.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I had to be taught and I had to learn that I was sick
with a disease and addiction of alcohol. It is progressive
disease that if not addressed will keep us mentally,
emotionally and physically sick which will eventually
take us out. Kill us.
Like all diseases out there affecting millions, they
are not gonna cure themselves without help and
treatment.
There is treatment for alcohol addiction.
There is help for each of us.
There is help for you.
with a disease and addiction of alcohol. It is progressive
disease that if not addressed will keep us mentally,
emotionally and physically sick which will eventually
take us out. Kill us.
Like all diseases out there affecting millions, they
are not gonna cure themselves without help and
treatment.
There is treatment for alcohol addiction.
There is help for each of us.
There is help for you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: California
Posts: 182
I understand. I gave up the longest string of sobriety I ever had because of a similar situation. If it's any consolation, a year and a half later I'm really glad I didn't get the job, I ended up leaving that industry and felt so much better and have an even better paying job now. I remember everyone telling me it will all be okay as I snorted and rolled my eyes in retort. And it really is okay...if I could just put the damn bottle down and get out of my own way! If you feel like a loser or failure, an AA member once told me "It's okay to fail, we'll celebrate failure because you got back up and tried again". I wish you clarity and peace in the days ahead, thank you for being such a strong part of this community.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
You are not a loser, you are merely making choices that you later regret. A loser wouldn't regret their choices because they wouldn't know any better. You already know better in your soul. You are just not following your soul.
My suffering, stress, and alcoholism came about because I didn't realize that I was already what I was are looking for. What I was looking for was there and in place in my soul.
My suffering, stress, and alcoholism came about because I didn't realize that I was already what I was are looking for. What I was looking for was there and in place in my soul.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
"Garden variety alcoholic" is not an insult. No matter where we come from or what we have experienced, we are all alcoholics who share the same affliction. An allergy to alcohol if you will. Nothing special about our addiction. We are garden variety alcoholics...
I think that is what is meant by "nothing special" Jeff.
I think that is what is meant by "nothing special" Jeff.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Thomas this is a disease, and we have to actively treat it. I agree with cold fusion, AA might really help. You know who else is a garden variety alcoholic, who attacked his adopted son, was investigated by child protective services and ruined his marriage with drinking? Brad Pitt. You know who has been in a male only AA group and credits AA to having 3 years sober? Brad Pitt. No one is safe from this disease, there is no cure, only lifelong treatment. When they talk about a plan here, it really maybe a treatment plan. If we are not proactive with our treatment, we are willingly staying sick. Find your own plan, yoga, gym, SMART recovery, Refuge Recovery, AA, and addiction counselor. Whatever work for you. I recently paid $150 for my first appointment with an addiction counselor. I couldn’t afford it, but I couldn’t afford not to. Today is your day one, feeling low is normal. First week just rest, get good nutrition, vitamins, hydrate. Then get your plan. Once you heal you, the job interviews will be yours. When I didn’t get jobs, or lost jobs, it was because something better was waiting for me. Something better is waiting for you, heal yourself and be ready when that opportunity appears.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by thomas11
No, I'm pretty sure I am a loser. Someone recently told me I am a garden variety alcoholic and nothing special.
But dude....we are all just the same. Alcoholics. There isn't a better or a worse one, at the end of the day. Accepting that in this way it's GOOD to be average has been pretty freeing.
Don't drink the rest of the day, and it is Sun EST. Mon will be here sooner than it feels like.
Trusting you know I'm not being a jerk to you based on our PM and thread interaction. But you know what ya gotta do.
Last edited by greeteachday; 01-27-2020 at 06:54 PM.
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