New to site, day 5
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
Originally Posted by VinnyMcM 
I can’t even count how many times I told myself that I would wait and quit on “x” day. Weird how I would just forget that I made that promise when that day did arrive. Congrats on finally saying enough is enough. Welcome!
You'll find lots of support here. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 546
Originally Posted by Cityboy
Have not really talked to anyone about it except for a "thinking about cutting back" type of comment here and there.
Did not know about hydrating. So I guess that means to avoid coffee? Ouch.
Just to communicate openly with others about it feels much different.
Did not know about hydrating. So I guess that means to avoid coffee? Ouch.
Just to communicate openly with others about it feels much different.
Each of us is different, but keep reading on here about all of it, including others' stories of "coming out" to folks about choosing sobriety.
Re hydrating: Each of us is different, but in my case, I still drink lots of coffee, up till about 2 or 3 p.m. If I drink it after that, it interferes with my sleep, even when I am (I mean was) drinking alcohol. But these 15 days of my sobriety I have been consciously making a point of drinking a lot of tap water, too. Others (including, not least, Madison Avenue types) extol the virtues of brand name, plastic-packaged alternatives.
Actually I haven't had to be that conscious about it because I've been uncustomarily thirsty (and I am not referring to my "thirst" for a hit of ethanol, but to my dry, parched, throat).
I think the body as well as the brain goes through a lot of unpredictable physiological changes upon the sudden cessation of infusions of a substance that one has become accustomed to, whether that be (1) a bogeyman (you know, an "evil spirit") like alcohol, nicotine, or illicit drugs, or (2) a more commonly acceptable "vice" like caffeine, chocolate, or chicken wings ; or (3) a generally accepted (if arguably faddish) "health food," like Greek yogurt, arugula, or herbal tea.
RIght now, I'm focusing on the bogeymen (and I've drunk more herbal tea in the past two weeks than in the past two decades).
Re openly communicating with others: I take it you are referring to communicating here, on SR? Yeah, I totally agree. And if by "different" you mean "way better," I couldn't agree more. It has led me to be practicing more openly communicating with others IRL, too.
Last edited by jr67; 01-16-2020 at 10:41 AM. Reason: clarification
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
Welcome Cityboy. I'm on day 15. I came here on day 1 very anxious and depressed. I drank every night....and I was in withdrawal every day. This is my first time reaching out after many failed attempts. Today I feel strong....stronger by the day. Coming here everyday posting and reading is really helping me stay on track.
I found reading posts from those who have achieved major milestones to be very helpful. They are my mentors.
A month ago, I couldn't envision myself without alcohol. I felt "what is the point of living if I can't relax and reward myself with a drink?" I used every excuse in the book to rationalize drinking...what a ton of work that was.
That has all changed now and my relationship with my husband and daughter is really improving. I'm finding joy in other things...I'm finding me! The longer you stay off alcohol the more clarity you will have....trust me. Sobriety is sooo worth it!
That's a lot to say for a person only on day 15 but I'm going to do this. Read as much as you can on here because what you are really doing is building your toolbox for sobriety.
Good Luck!!!
I found reading posts from those who have achieved major milestones to be very helpful. They are my mentors.
A month ago, I couldn't envision myself without alcohol. I felt "what is the point of living if I can't relax and reward myself with a drink?" I used every excuse in the book to rationalize drinking...what a ton of work that was.
That has all changed now and my relationship with my husband and daughter is really improving. I'm finding joy in other things...I'm finding me! The longer you stay off alcohol the more clarity you will have....trust me. Sobriety is sooo worth it!
That's a lot to say for a person only on day 15 but I'm going to do this. Read as much as you can on here because what you are really doing is building your toolbox for sobriety.
Good Luck!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 308
Originally Posted by Cityboy
Did not know about hydrating. So I guess that means to avoid coffee? Ouch.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
Welcome, CityBoy.
I hear you on wondering how in the heck you're going to participate in some of your favorite activities without drinking. I had the same fears. I think one of the things that kept me drinking miserably was the fear that I'd lose my entire social life and all of my friends. Pretty much everything I did with my friends (and a lot of my family) involved alcohol, sometimes a LOT. But I finally got to the point where I was more afraid of continuing to drink than I was of the consequences of quitting. So I decided to quit and worry about the rest later.
I told pretty much everyone in my close circle that I had a problem with alcohol and I was quitting, like right away. I wanted to come clean, rip the band aid off quickly. That might not be the right move for everyone, and I was terrified, but the outpouring of love and support absolutely bowled me over. Not ONE SINGLE PERSON gave me the slightest bit of push back, and they all asked what they could do to help. I basically said to just bear with me while I figured out my new way of living. I was going to treatment, I was going to AA, and I started coming here to SR within about 3-4 weeks.
I figured I'd have to avoid any and all situations where alcohol was even present, and that sounded pretty bleak - I live in a small town in Wisconsin, where the MAIN way of socializing is hanging out in bars and drinking. ALL of my friends drink. But here's what actually happened. As I got more and more sober days racked up, I realized I had zero desire to drink. I was just DONE. I slowly dipped my toe in the social waters, and figured out I could still participate in a lot of the social activities I enjoyed (with some limits). I always give myself a way to escape if I start feeling like I'd rather not be there. I don't go to things where there is nothing to focus on but drinking. No one pushes me and they all understand when I tell them It's time for me to tap out. I go fishing, I go out to dinner with friends, I go to parties. I enjoy my friends so much more than I used to (yeah there are a few I don't see any more, because all they ever do is sit and drink - boring). I have discovered such freedom not drinking that I have zero desire to ever drink again. I don't need to in order to do the things I really enjoy.
I think if you come clean with people, tell them how important this is to you, that they will be understanding. If someone isn't, that's an important piece of information for you about that person. And it would not hurt for you to find some face-to-face sober support somewhere near you, if that's possible (I go to AA, it doesn't have to be that).
You can do this.
I hear you on wondering how in the heck you're going to participate in some of your favorite activities without drinking. I had the same fears. I think one of the things that kept me drinking miserably was the fear that I'd lose my entire social life and all of my friends. Pretty much everything I did with my friends (and a lot of my family) involved alcohol, sometimes a LOT. But I finally got to the point where I was more afraid of continuing to drink than I was of the consequences of quitting. So I decided to quit and worry about the rest later.
I told pretty much everyone in my close circle that I had a problem with alcohol and I was quitting, like right away. I wanted to come clean, rip the band aid off quickly. That might not be the right move for everyone, and I was terrified, but the outpouring of love and support absolutely bowled me over. Not ONE SINGLE PERSON gave me the slightest bit of push back, and they all asked what they could do to help. I basically said to just bear with me while I figured out my new way of living. I was going to treatment, I was going to AA, and I started coming here to SR within about 3-4 weeks.
I figured I'd have to avoid any and all situations where alcohol was even present, and that sounded pretty bleak - I live in a small town in Wisconsin, where the MAIN way of socializing is hanging out in bars and drinking. ALL of my friends drink. But here's what actually happened. As I got more and more sober days racked up, I realized I had zero desire to drink. I was just DONE. I slowly dipped my toe in the social waters, and figured out I could still participate in a lot of the social activities I enjoyed (with some limits). I always give myself a way to escape if I start feeling like I'd rather not be there. I don't go to things where there is nothing to focus on but drinking. No one pushes me and they all understand when I tell them It's time for me to tap out. I go fishing, I go out to dinner with friends, I go to parties. I enjoy my friends so much more than I used to (yeah there are a few I don't see any more, because all they ever do is sit and drink - boring). I have discovered such freedom not drinking that I have zero desire to ever drink again. I don't need to in order to do the things I really enjoy.
I think if you come clean with people, tell them how important this is to you, that they will be understanding. If someone isn't, that's an important piece of information for you about that person. And it would not hurt for you to find some face-to-face sober support somewhere near you, if that's possible (I go to AA, it doesn't have to be that).
You can do this.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,575
Hi CityBoy - it's wonderful to have you with us.
I can sense the relief in your posts as you realize you aren't alone with this. When I came to SR years ago I was sure a sober life would be dull and sad. I didn't dream I could quit & learn to stop relying on it. But like you - I found it was becoming too much trouble & interfering with the life I wanted to live. I had gone from fun, relaxing drinking to being dependent on it. It was part of everything I did in the end - and I never made a move without it. Being able to talk my feelings over with people who cared meant everything. We're here to encourage you & help you through the rough times. You're going to do this!
I can sense the relief in your posts as you realize you aren't alone with this. When I came to SR years ago I was sure a sober life would be dull and sad. I didn't dream I could quit & learn to stop relying on it. But like you - I found it was becoming too much trouble & interfering with the life I wanted to live. I had gone from fun, relaxing drinking to being dependent on it. It was part of everything I did in the end - and I never made a move without it. Being able to talk my feelings over with people who cared meant everything. We're here to encourage you & help you through the rough times. You're going to do this!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
Can't thank you guys enough for the replies. Haven't been able to work much today and feel like I'm experiencing some physical symptoms, I think it's just from thinking about it so hard.
It's incredibly uncomfortable drawing attention to myself in this manner and would probably never do it if not for it being on an anonymous website.
My wife and kid went to a show tonight and under almost any other set of circumstances I would have gone to the store a couple of hours ago and would be throwing them back right now.
Will be out tomorrow on a job and will have to deal with the compulsion to stop at the store on the way home, on Friday night with wife and kid gone to her mom's house no less.
Thank you again. Right now you guys are the only difference between this time and the other hundreds of times I said no more. I hope that I can soon be here to support others the way you all are helping me.
It's incredibly uncomfortable drawing attention to myself in this manner and would probably never do it if not for it being on an anonymous website.
My wife and kid went to a show tonight and under almost any other set of circumstances I would have gone to the store a couple of hours ago and would be throwing them back right now.
Will be out tomorrow on a job and will have to deal with the compulsion to stop at the store on the way home, on Friday night with wife and kid gone to her mom's house no less.
Thank you again. Right now you guys are the only difference between this time and the other hundreds of times I said no more. I hope that I can soon be here to support others the way you all are helping me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 68
Originally Posted by Cityboy
Sick of passing out drunk in my recliner every other night in front of my wife and kid. Sick of considering myself lucky to have not gotten a DUI on the way home.
And I can't even count the days over the past decade when I've finally arrived at a client's office, parked my car and was like 'Thank God I didn't get pulled over! I wonder if I'm still over the limit?'.
Yeah, really, the hell with that and all the rest of it.
Congrats on making a decision to give it up. I'm 11 days in and things have gotten a LOT better since day 5, hang in there!
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
Welcome, this is a great place to hang out everyday if you want to get sober.
I was in sad shape about 10 years ago, wanted to get sober, but just couldn’t do it. After a couple of decades of planning to quit drinking “tomorrow” I just couldn’t keep abusing my body on a daily basis any longer, I was getting too old for that.
In desperation I finally tried AA and joined this website. Those were the two key factors in getting sober. Fortunately, I managed to quit just before I started losing stuff, like my marriage, my kids, my career, my health, etc.
Like I said, I was in sad shape. Now I’m coming up on 10 years sober, so if I can do it, so can you. One other suggestion that really helped me was to join the monthly “sobriety class” on this website page. The current one is the January of 2020 sobriety group.
I was in sad shape about 10 years ago, wanted to get sober, but just couldn’t do it. After a couple of decades of planning to quit drinking “tomorrow” I just couldn’t keep abusing my body on a daily basis any longer, I was getting too old for that.
In desperation I finally tried AA and joined this website. Those were the two key factors in getting sober. Fortunately, I managed to quit just before I started losing stuff, like my marriage, my kids, my career, my health, etc.
Like I said, I was in sad shape. Now I’m coming up on 10 years sober, so if I can do it, so can you. One other suggestion that really helped me was to join the monthly “sobriety class” on this website page. The current one is the January of 2020 sobriety group.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,575
How was it today, Cityboy? The first few days are rough, but everything gets better and easier as you get some sober time behind you. Be patient with yourself as you begin to heal.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
Originally Posted by Hevyn
How was it today, Cityboy? The first few days are rough, but everything gets better and easier as you get some sober time behind you. Be patient with yourself as you begin to heal.
Yesterday was tough. No big urge to drink but just didn't feel good and couldn't work.
Much better today. Still didn't feel like working but did go out for a while to run a couple of errands. No big urge to stop at the store on the way home which I would have unquestionably done otherwise.
I am beginning to realize how so many things in life are triggers. It seems ridiculous. While out I happened to drive by a great little hole-in-wall Italian joint and my first thought was about their homemade sangria. I fully expect the triggers to be a problem for some time. We'll see how it goes.
Thanks again for asking.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Hi Cityboy 
Just keep posting here, theres always someone who will answer your post.
You learn so much about yourself in here , but especiallly the fact we are just like you. You will never be judged and have the freedom to express what you are going through, by all of us who have gone through it or are still gojng through it
Xxxx
Just keep posting here, theres always someone who will answer your post.
You learn so much about yourself in here , but especiallly the fact we are just like you. You will never be judged and have the freedom to express what you are going through, by all of us who have gone through it or are still gojng through it
Xxxx
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