Jewel72

So I thought I’d post here for accountability.

Every morning I write my goodbye letter to A for good, and as I’m writing the thoughts creep in to partake one more night. I let the thoughts take hold and act on them. I’m too ashamed to tell my husband I’ve slipped again, so I’m turning to my SR friends. I know I can get back on track if I just don’t drink today.

I will check in tonight and report no alcohol. I must. Thanks for being there.

doggonecarl

No more goodbye letters to your addiction. Time to go No Contact.

Take drinking completely off the table as an option. Commit to never drinking again. Never. Then do everything you can--recovery wise--to support that decision. Everything.

nez

Intentions are well and good, but actions are what determine the future. In early sobriety when the urge would hit me, I would tell myself to wait 15 minutes and then I would go out for a walk to give my mind something else to focus on. Sometimes it would take a second 15 minutes. Sometimes even a third, but sooner or later the urge would pass and time without a drink increased.

Before sobriety I can't tell you how many times my intentions were to not drink that day. It was merely salve for my fragile ego and bruised low self esteem. When I started taking better actions to support my intentions, my self esteem began to undergo healing because I had done something estimable to look back at in support my efforts.

Jewel72

You’re right Doggonecarl. I’m not writing a letter today.

ThatWasTheOldMe

It is my experience that when I stay sober today, I feel better about myself tomorrow.

I even look in the mirror these days and I like the guy staring back at me

Alcohol is poison for some people.

NerfThis

This is what I had to do. For the first half of 2018 I attempted moderation, but on most occasions it would end up with me in despair after three day benders. Instead of trying to work sensible drinking into my life, I had to remove it as an option entirely. I cannot drink and that is all there is to it.

Hawkeye13

No Contact is a great metaphor for this.
You can do it--each day will get a bit easier with bursts of craving that pass fairly quickly.

Get some ice cream in the fridge and you got this

Pouncer

Sorry to hear you are struggling today. I drink in secret, too., and mornings are my happy hour.

Can you stick around today? I will be here. So will the rest of SR.

(((Hugs)))

Jewel72

Hi Pouncer, Very good to see you here!
Yes, I’m here most of the day. Have to drive kids around later, but no risk of me stopping for wine with them in the car.

I’m actually feeling queasy today. Not sure if my family is passing g a bug around or this may be my body’s way of helping me get back on track. Zero desire to drink. Thankful for all of you.

August252015

Putting aside that letter writing habit, and replacing it with action to not drink today is a great plan. What's the action part for today? Not feeling good at the beginning is normal for just about all of us - finding ways to get thru it is the key.

Check out the Class of Dec 2019 thread under newcomers for folks quitting now, too.

Hevyn

I know you're going to report 'no alcohol' tonight.
You sound ready to get free,Quitnow. Life will be so much better.

Jewel72

Thanks, August.
Staying in bed today until I have to drive kids around. Will be with them the rest of the day and I don’t buy alcohol when I’m with my family. Will stay in tonight and look forward to day 2.

My husband just came home early from work. We are definitely passing some sickness around. I am going to join the December class. I’ve been in several of them (unfortunately) and they have been a great help.

Dee74

Hope you feel better soon Quit.
Congrats on an imminent day one

D

Jewel72

In for the night. Sober and tucked in bed. Thank you for being there.
This is just what I needed to start again.

Goodnight/morning.

Hevyn

Knew you could. Wonderful news.

Zighoul

Hope you get some good rest and feel better Quit 🙂

least

I like Carl's idea of going 'no contact'. That's what I had to do, take it completely off the table as an option. NO. NEVER AGAIN. You can do this.

Delilah1

How’s it going tonight?

Jewel72

Made it. Back on track. Thank you!

skeletoncrue

Off and running!

Congratulations!

It's a great feeling to have your last drink behind you!