jess10

Almost 3 years ago, a family member turned my life upside down. My only sibling torn us apart, too escape the pain, I asked my boyfriend to find away to take mypain. I introduced him back to his monster. since then, we have been using, life just keeps bringng us down, despite the use, we thought we were just gonna move along, until Thursday morning.He went to see his family briefly befoer we head over to mine,He was pulled over in a trafic stop with the monster in his possession, now He's in jail.Im scared and He's all I got. I feel responsible. I miss my love, He (we) are good people just we are exactly alike. Our families consider us the "black sheep".

HeadEast

I have the perspective of a 61 year old. Getting older pretty much sucks, but this is one of the areas that has its advantages. This is going to be short. Life is too short to keep yourself in a toxic situation and you won't die if you are alone for a while.

Dee74

Welcome Jess - I'm sorry for your pain.

I can't even start to tell you how good life is without monsters or demons or whatever you want to call addiction.

I'm not sure how long your bf is in jail for but maybe this is a wake up call for you? time for the good person you are to emerge again?

D

Hevyn

Hi jess. I'm so sorry for what you & your boyfriend are going through. I did reckless things when I drank - ended up with a dui & many other troubles. We think we're comforting ourselves by using & drinking, but we're just adding to the original problem. Having a clear head to deal with life is the only way to go. It sounds like you're realizing that, & are ready to make a big change.

I'm glad you're here - please keep talking to us. We care about you - you're not alone.

least

I don't know what specific monster it is that you and your bf are using, but I do know that things won't start to get better until you stop using.

I am 68 yrs old and also feel life is too short to waste it on toxic people and circumstances. I hope you can stop using and find some peace of mind.

Anna

Hi Jess,

I'm sorry for your situation. You can find healthy ways to deal with the ups and downs of life, and we are here to support you.

I hope you and your boyfriend use this experience as an opportunity to change your lives.

fini

jess,
he’s NOT all you’ve got.
you’ve got YOU, and now you’ve got us, if that is what you want.
having yourself, finding a new, clean way forward, re-building...all this is possible. i know what it is like to miss someone, and i am sorry for your pain.
however, you are NOT responsible for his actions. you are responsible for your own, though, and coming here is a good step .

Delilah1

Hi Jess,

I’m sorry for what brings you here, but I hope this can be a turning point for both you and your boyfriend.

I am one month short of four years sober, and one of the things I’ve done in sobriety is given myself permission to cut ties with people who are toxic in my life.

SoberCAH

I hope that you use this as an opportunity to get clean and sober.

You may have to choose between letting go of someone you care for and not dying from addiction.

I also hope you can find a program of recovery.

For me, AA has worked for a very long time.

saoutchik

Welcome to SR jess10. There are some reasons to be thankful in this situation. Your bf was pulled over in a traffic stop, he didn't kill or injure anyone nor did he damage anyone's property. He might have but he didn't so unless he was pulled over with a lot of whatever it was then I'm guessing his jail time will not be too lengthy although I appreciate that even a short spell would be unpleasant and have consequences. He may also be mandated to undertake some form of addiction treatment. It would seem a good moment for you to see if you could get some help in that regard. This could even be a positive turning point for you both. By the way, don't be blaming yourself for his using, we are responsible for our own poor choices. I know that because I made plenty of poor choices.

In joining and posting on SR you have made a good decision, there is lots of help and advice from people who have been through similar situations and of course similar addictions.

Don't despair jess, quitting anything is not easy but it is do-able with the right frame of mind.