Boggle10

My youngest girl was 28 yesterday, went to the shop with her, she bought gin and bottle of tonic, and four big desperado for her daddy, this place of mine just seems no help at all, I had no urge or want for a drink, but I think it's rather unfair of them to drink around me, maybe I'm being selfish or stupid

Obladi

Being selfish about staying sober is not stupid at all; it's essential. Have you told your family how you feel about them drinking?

ShiftHappens

In my humble opinion the only thing you can you do is express to your daughter that going shopping with her is great but youre not getting involved with alcohol on any level EVER and if she wants to drink with dad maybe she could take him out for dinner or whatever.

Just tell them its not your idea of a fun, good time and to not include you in any activities that involve drinking.

Who knows, maybe it will even plant a seed in them and they'll follow your lead.

DriGuy

Most of my friends don't drink in my presence, even though it would not tempt me to drink. As far as I'm concerned, they can drink or not drink around me. I do have one friend who drinks in my presence all the time to the point where he gets high. That bothers me, but not because it tempts me, which is the exact opposite of my reaction. It bothers me, because I see him unable to control his drinking, and he is my oldest friend who I want to be happy, and I watch him struggling to be happy while never really getting there.

SoberRican

My girlfriend drinks. It doesnt bother me. I have the problem not her. Thats how I look at it.

Boggle10

Thanks guys, I know it was kinda silly thinking that, my daughter doesn't drink very often I think I put her off, maybe that's a good thing. Now my husband he's another story, every night he drinks 3 bottles, now there big bottles, I worry about him, I've ask him please don't bring any home, he maybe won't that evening but he won't last, maybe if I talked to him, I'm a very easy going person, hate arguing and if we do I never hold a grudge, maybe he just doesn't take me seriously, all these maybes,

Callas

Yes the difficulty is that we live in societies all over the world where drinking is part of every day life. We can not change that. I have tried to fit in with all the drinking around me. It remains a challenge. The truth is only 7% of people are alcoholics, so we can not expect them to fit in with us. We are after all the authors of our own misfortune.

Boggle10

Callas, we defiantly are our own authors, I got by another day, so onwards and upwards x

August252015

My $0.02 is that I spent zero time around big drinkers, from the get go. My dad is a normal drinker and occasionally has a beer or two at dinner - he probably started doing that around me when I was a few months sober. Fine with me.

Family can be tough but ultimately we cannot control others. Some people feel differently about line drawing and asking others what not to do - that's something to decide on your own, but ultimately you have to be sober more than you want to drink no matter what anyone else does. I wouldn't get into when, where and how others drink as rules can often set people on "sides" that are definitely not the same.

Early on where you are, most definitely talking to closest folks about your sobriety is what I did and would suggest.I didn't go out around big drinkers and, honestly, still don't - not many parties and at my age (43) not too many weddings - so on. Learning to use my tools when I am in social situations was stricter at the beginning, and doesn't need to be employed now as recovery is my worldview.

Keep going - best to you.