Hope1989

Hey everyone,

Well, I have been doing better and I am trying to get my life in order.

However, I am someone that wants always some instant "gratification" or want everything to be fixed right away. Unfortunately, I understand that after years of basically screwing up, I can not get to point zero in a couple of weeks.

I have started cutting costs and adjusting my expenses. And I do earn what I believe it's a pretty high salary for someone my age. Nevertheless, I am always on the limit every month with my salary. Repaying debts, and trying to put most of my salary on them in order to settle them.

Two things happened:

1. Today I saw my bank account and after I paid everything I wanted I saw I have like 1k left for the month (Already paid rent, transportation, debt instalments bla bla). It makes me so sad because it feels like I just work for being broke. I know it's not a huge problem but I causes me a lot of distress. Especially, because I do not want to be attached to a place due to debts (it's not a big debt at all, couple of k's)

2. I was with a colleague/friend that we're rather close and he opened his bank account and I saw his savings. I felt really bad, not because he has a healthy bank account (I am happy for him), but because I realized what a mess I am and I have been.

To be honest, even try to repay my debts so fast it's quite stupid because it puts me on a big financial distress, but at the same time I want to get rid of them as soon as possible.

Anyway, sorry for the rant, I just wanted to share a little bit.

Have a great week everyone.

Dee74

I dunno if it will help but it took me an entire year to get out from under the mountain of debt addiction left me with, paying things off bit by bit.

I can't blame anyone else, it was my mess, and my responsibility to clean up.

Probably helped me more than anything else to grow up that first year.

At least if nothing else it makes me respect a healthy bank balance these days

As long as you stay sober, you'll pull ahead - I hope better times are ahead for you Hope

D

sugarbear1

I never ever thought of my finances when I drank. I was in a major financial hole when I got sober 8 years ago. I was able to diligently and consistently pay my owed bills, but it did take a few years (less than 6). You are on your way to your goal!! Keep moving forward!

Hope1989

That is more or less what I am looking at (8 months), without compromising my monthly financial health.

I also take full responsibility. There is no one else's fault by mine to be in this situation.

I am doing much better, and I do plan to remain sober, it is just a bit frustrating.

Thanks for pitching in as always.

Dee74

This will all be in the rear view mirror soon

D

MyLittleHorsie

It will get better!

Ladybug47

I am right there with you Hope...right now I am behind on my mortgage and it is stressing me out big time. For me it's a culmination of bad choices and rash decisions. I will get out from under it and you will too.

Just keep your eye on the goal and make progress. I've found also it really helps to be grateful for what I have in this moment.

totfit

I found from experience that "time" will heal everything if we continue with small steps in the right direction. I spent time with the fleeting thoughts of "what's the use", "I have ruined my life", etc., but those thoughts are far in the rear view. Staying sober over the past few years and longer "for the most part" has allowed me to do the right things to "turn the ship". Looking forward in the not too distant future to a comfortable early "semi-retirement" with a small mortgage left and no other credit owed. While "we" hate to wait, things do clear up with time "if" we change our behavior.

Zebra1275

When it comes to debt repayment, 8 months is not a long time.

I would suggest you change your thinking.

And I do earn what I believe it's a pretty high salary for someone my age.

Having a steady job that lets you pay your current living expenses, plus pay off your debt in only 8 months is a blessing.

I know people that would trade employment situations with you in a heartbeat.

August252015

A few thoughts...I can relate to that feeling of enormous weight when it came to money.

I went back to work full time as a server, and learned how to budget. I didn't make a lot, certainly not relative to the career I ditched in my early 30s v being 39 and having missed all that income. BUT. I started small - a big piece of my debt puzzle was unpaid hosp/ambulance/etc bills. I vividly remember the day I called every place and set a payment plan; I made myself stick to the $10/mo even when I had a great wkd serving and could've paid one of the $200 something off right then!!

I got my first credit card in a long time around the point you are. I had two bank accounts, one where I deposited nearly all money made every shift, and then 2x a month took money out to pay bills. I didn't keep the cash on hand like I had done with drinking. So on, specific to what I HAD to do. Amazingly, I didn't bring a financial mess into my marriage.

I operate on a small margin but within a year I too had solid footing. It's possible on a lot less than it sounds like you are making- to be blunt, I didn't have $1K after bills!! Now, married and 3 yr almost 8 mo sober, I make $1K a month as a W9 employee (in US terms, that means no taxes are taken out unless you choose- so I set aside 10% every month) and know how to live on that to cover "my" bills like therapist, hair, etc, and am fortunate that my husband supports us. THAT is a miracle of my sobriety.

8 mo is fantastic, not long, and you know what to do - keep going. We are all in diff financial situations when we quit, and as we go along in life and sobriety. It's indeed all relative and I can't compare myself to my past self, nor to anyone else.

Keep going. And I'd suggest not looking at other people's info even if by accident

Callas

Financial stress is not nice but in a relative short period of time you will be healthy, sober and in the black. What a wonderful prospect.

AnvilheadII

no quick fixes. getting out of debt takes time. it just does. having a budget and a plan is key to making this happen. randomly throwing money at A debt might have a temporary feel good moment, but it's likely we aren't putting our dollars to the best use. i'm not saying that is what YOU are doing, Hope, only to point out that a solid debt plan is essential.

Anna

I can understand your frustration with wanting your financial situation to be settled quickly. But, you are doing everything you can to take care of your debt and financial responsibilities. It won't be long until things in order.

abgator

I know how bad it sucks to be broke and live check to check. I make much more than the average income for my city, yet I still live check to check and I don't have a grand extra in the bank. Now that is largely because the courts treat men terribly in a divorce. Why am I paying $500/mo in child support when I have my daughter 50% of the time and pay all her expenses such as health and dental? But I digress...

Let's put this in perspective: The vast majority of Americans don't even have $500 in savings. Many are behind on rent or mortgage. Let that sink in. Don't sweat the money, man. It sucks not to have a big safety net or take that kick ass vacation, I know. But it's not worth risking your health or sobriety over.

PinnacleOR

I’ve not made great financial decisions, and if I lived too much in my past I could beat myself up all afternoon with “what if’s” ....what if I’d saved more, not sold the house, taken the other job, not lost this job....and so on.

But at the end of the day, my needs are met. And I’m so fortunate compared to those who don’t have access to enough, food, clean water, a roof over their head, or safety for their children. I’m a lucky one.

Maybe counting your blessings will help provide another perspective?

2muchpain

Getting out of debt takes time and a lot of patience. I tried dumping a lot of money to pay off debts, but this only led to more frustration. Eventually I realized it was only making my life tougher than it had to be. I became more realistic, and paid what I could afford, knowing it will take more time than I wanted, but it worked. You still need to deal with day to day expenses and those unexpected ones. You will get to where you want to be. It just might take longer than you want. Remember that it's very important to have some money set aside to treat yourself, even if it's just a movie or dropping by your favorite fast food place or ordering a pizza. We all deserve these little things. You do to. John

SoberCAH

We're very happy you're here with us, Hope.

It sounds like you are doing very well making financial amends.

We are seldom able to repay our debts in short order.

It took me a good while to get out of debt when I got sober.

But I did, albeit methodically and not overnight, and I felt like a million bucks, so to speak.

Keep up the great work.

It's easy to compare ourselves with other who have seemingly done better in one or more areas of life, whether they be financial, career achievement, marital or other, but there's no real benefit in making such comparisons.

We're not created equally.

We have different brain chemistry, IQ's, family wealth (or poverty), etc.

I look to see how I'm handling the cards I'm dealt not how I am doing vis-a-vis others.

Stick with your program, amigo.