venuscat

Sober369

Congratulations on 2 weeks Mariposa and Finalround! Walnut, I agree, the mornings are the best. I woke up this morning and thought, "Yes! I am sober!" I just felt elated over it. So many years of waking up sick, I am just in a new world now. If that was all I got out of being sober, it would be enough. But, it's not, there's more!
Purina, have you ever watched "The Secret"? It starts out, the first few minutes of it, really hokey. You're young, you may not know what hokey means, but it's silly. But, once you get past that, it's really a great program. It's all about how to use your mind to relate to the universe in a way that gets you what you are wanting. It's on Netflix, but may be on YouTube also, if you don't have Netflix. Very entertaining, too.
How was the movie Cubsfan?
I have a problem at work. A team mate making trouble on purpose. I am still having anxiety, and it should be over by now but it's not. So this just added to it. I had a moment where I thought I would have a panic attack. And several moments where I was about to act out big time.
But, I'm feeling pretty good about the way I handled it. I talked to her, was nice but firm that it can't keep happening. And I filled in my boss so she can't take the trouble upstairs, so to speak. Sadly, I thought this person was my friend. My former boss, who was great, told me flat out that my direct reports are not my friends. She was right. I am just a lonely person who works too much and tries to make friends out of my staff. Stupid, but easily solved if I stay sober. And I do intend to stay sober!
I hope all are doing well.

Dee74

I found the more years I drank the longer it took me to feel ok again - it's the whole kindling thing.

I had to be extra vigilant for a while.

As far as the AA group goes - it might be like you're thinking - or it may not.

I know here on SR that I have to be sensitive - sometimes I'll shout out to someone who's missing, and sometimes I think it's best to let the person come back themselves.

You seem like a thoughtful and sensitive person - it seems unlikely to me that a whole group would turn against you over some texts

D

venuscat

Karen, I wonder from your posts if you are a caregiver.....gosh, I so don't know what it is called here....perhaps you work in elder care? Or disabled care? s
My point is only that I think you handled your coworker situation extremely well...I only wonder because I am an elder care worker.....not important....

You said you had a problem....but I heard you also say that you had completely handled it. How wonderful is that. s

We don't have to be lonely....we can find face 2 face friends.....and we will. I know you will love.

Finalround

Another day done. It really does get easier. 2 weeks and a day ago I was caught in the drinking snare. Just could not get myself to stop. Started each morning with a drink or two just to avoid feeling like crap. Multiple trips a day to he liquor store to reload, not believing I already finished the bottle I was limiting myself to drinking that day. All the bad habits appearing one by one. Eating crap. No longer exercising. Putting off the things I promised myself I would do. Blowing the budget to bits. It happens so fast. Makes me sick reminding myself about it.

But, I must. I must not forget how destructive it is. How miserable I am when I'm stuck in the drink cycle. How awful I look abc feel. How hard it is to look in the mirror. The disgust.

I'm grateful I found the strength to stop. I'm grateful for the support I receive here. The encouragement, the empathy, the support. I'm grateful to be sober today. I feel like a completely different person today than I was just two weeks ago.

It's very hard to stop and stay stopped. But we must. Please give yourselves the chance to start to feel the difference. The feeling of clarity and hope and health.

It's been said a thousand times here on SR. It gets better. it does.

venuscat

And then it gets amazing. Beyond your wildest dreams.

Nite guys. s

NicLin

I'm in. Day 1 for me, I decided to seek help at a recovery center, go in tomorrow afternoon.

Dee74

I think thats a great idea Nic - welcome aboard

D

Sapph21

Way to go FR! Also loving the difference at the two week mark! I could have written every word you posted. So happy to be on this side of things finally. Now to stay there! We’ve got this!

Sapph21

Good luck NicLin and I look forward to hearing about your journey.

KinseyMillhone

I'm back. I did well on my weekend away, but watched a crowd of people drink moderately. That is always a danger. The trip home was beyond stressful and came home to a health crisis with my husband. We spent a few days in and out of the hospital this week. I took my eye off the ball and drank.

Luckily, my addiction showed it's TRUE colors right away and I can't pretend I can moderate. Either I drink alcoholicly or I don't drink. I wish knowing that was all it takes. I am recommitting to sobriety and to finding a way to succeed.

Dee74

I'm sorry you drank Kinsey but glad you got back straight away.

When I had that realisation it led to acceptance of being a non drinker
what I needed to do with that realisation & acceptance was put some action behind it.

I needed to make my choices reflect my desire to stay sober

Hope your husband is feeling better.

D

Finalround

Welcome niclin.

Way to go Sapph. Woke this morning an hour before my alarm. Refreshed and rested. Fired up the coffee pot and turned on the Open championship. I've got this extra hour of alert ME time to enjoy. Why would we want the alternative?

Kinsey, get back on board. You've been here, and you've been there. You know which is better, no? Put a reminder somewhere of your post. Somewhere you can access it every time you crave. keep adding to the tool box.
I hope everything is ok with your husband. I understand how stressful that can be.

How's everyone else doing? Prepared for the weekend with a plan to avoid triggers?

Jewel72

Good morning day 2! Very sleepy since my kids had a sleepoverin the house. Running on fumes here, but extremely thankful to wake up w/o hangover. Made the kids a nice breakfast and now I can take it easy this morning.

Welcome back Kinsey. Good for you to get right back at it.

Final round, Not too many plans this weekend which is good. Going to the pool later today. But I will not drink there. It’s time to break bad habits and replace with healthy ones. I’ll bring a good book and some snacks. And I’m sure I’ll be on SR.

Have a great Friday.

kgirl41

I'm here, again, Day 1. I am so scared right now. I keep "trying" to quit drinking and just have this dreadful feeling that I can't stop. The cravings are so intense. Last night I went to the store and bought beer. I nearly had a panic attack on the way home just knowing what I was about to do. I'm drinking more and more every time I drink. I know my disease is progressing/escalating. I also know I have to get this figured out before something bad happens.
I know I have no control over alcohol. I know I am an alcoholic. I know that it will progress. That is what is so baffling about alcohol is you can know all of these things and still convince yourself you can control it. Aargh!
I am so hungover. I called in sick to work. I need help!

Jewel72

KGirl, I get it. We all do. I remember you from another class and, if I remember correctly, you had a long sober stretch? I’m back too and it is frightening to be caught up in this addiction. I hope we can be rid of alcohol for good. Hugs to you. Take care of yourself today.

venuscat

Sending so much love.

I saw a video many years ago in AA that shows what happens to our brains from continued excessive alcohol use. One thing is most definitely true....when we drink every day like I did, our brains are not able to produce serotonin in the way they should....so no matter how good our resolve, until all of the alcohol is actually OUT of our systems, we are going to need help getting through those cravings. We feel just miserable, and it can be really tough.

It's not your fault you feel this way: it wasn't my fault either.
It takes time to heal.

You might need a f2f sober buddy for the first five days odd, and of course you have all of us. s

For me, it was managing to not go to the bottle shop in the first week....I had to get my groceries delivered even though I couldn't really afford it.....craziness huh.....I would have found the $20 odd that I needed for my chardonnay, but I balked at a $10 delivery fee.

Stick close....and drink lots of water today, and try to eat something. xx

venuscat

And Quitnow.....you go girl....let's get to sober Saturday now....waking up on a Sat morning clear-headed never gets old. Ever. s xx

venuscat

Hello snitch and Kinsey s

Sending love to both of you as well.
Also hoping that your husband is alright now dear KM.....I know how scary that can be. s

KinseyMillhone

Thanks for the welcome back. It will probably be a long road with my husband, but you never know.

It's really clear now that it takes everything I have to stay quit. These two weeks were filled with thoughts about drinking and sobriety almost 24-7. When I got disrupted with assisting my parents on a 2 hour flight that turned to 17 hours and going on no sleep for a few days, my focus on sobriety was gone. I didnt even remember I had a problem or was trying to be sober, or even that I had been reading a great book. It's not an excuse- I'm really sad that I drank and I'm positive that I can and want to be sober through rough situations. It demonstrated to me that it really does take everything I've got and I have to do what I was doing and more. I have to put sobriety before everything because left to itself, my brain is an addicted brain that will seek alcohol. I have to put external measures in place because I can't trust me. I don't know what that looks like quite yet.