Back again after almost 2 years
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Originally Posted by Hevyn 
It's so good to see you, 24violets. 5 days is great. 
You sound determined & ready to do it this time. We know you can!
You sound determined & ready to do it this time. We know you can!
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Originally Posted by Dee74
Welcome back Violets
Have you thought much on what you might do differently this time?
D
Have you thought much on what you might do differently this time?
D
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Originally Posted by Gottalife
Welcome back Violets. Was your opening post a summary of what you did last time? Will you be adding anything this time to try and get a better result. It is worth thinking about. If you are like me, the memory of how bad it was this time will soon fade, and won't be of any use at all when temptation next rears its ugly head.
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Peter crab, Daisybelle, Delilah1, and livelikegold6
thank you for your hellos and support. It means the world to me. I was feeling so terrible yesterday. This site is what kept me going. I wasn’t tempted to drink. I have just been a little shocked how bad this is. Way worse than the last time. I didn’t realize the physical toll the amount I was drinking was having on my brain,nervous system and eyes and my heart. This time detoxing on my own has been a scary eye opener. I was aware of my blood pressure and weight. It’s really disgusting I let myself get this bad and thought I was doing fine. What a false world I was living in.
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7 days very rough Logging it so I remember
it has been very rough because of how it has affected me physically. My heart is still beating funny at times, I’m exhausted like trying to move through thick jello. I still have bouts of shaking. Today I started getting weird muscle cramps and spasms. I took a potassium and am upping my water intake. I have started taking a super B supplement and magnesium. They have helped a lot. The whole body jolts all night long have subsided, thank you God💜. My blood pressure is still down with the medicine. I am hoping to get off of it if I work hard to loose weight and exercise. I have a mammogram soon and am praying the area that has a marker after biopsy is still good with no changes. I know I need to abstain to decrease my percentage of my abnormal cells turning into cancer. I am so thankful to have made it 7 days. I am praying for a safe bet rest of my life
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keeping track of myself here
Yesterday was very hard. The desire to drink about knocked me off the ground. DH started yelling about stupid crap while enjoying his wine. I freaked out threatened to throw it away. then grabbed my gym bag and left. Had to get away and stay sober. thought about a meeting, the gym or even better drinking to make the feelings go away. Car broke down on the side of the road in the middle of no where. It was a God thing because I almost completely lost myself in the need for alcohol that came over me. Sitting there gave me time to cool off, read how to get through a really bad craving. I was alone in the car on the side of the road for about an hour. I was much more in control when DH came to try jumping the car. We were there for another hour waiting on the tow. In that time I realized I am not a toddler being told no you can't drink. My problems that set off my fury are so small. I began to realize my excuse to drink was really stupid. I can if I want to, but I CHOOSE not to. It would not be good. Im not sure I could stop if I started again. I contemplated just drinking for the rest of my life. withdrawl this time was so so bad. scared the crap out of me. The almost losing myself in the need for it, was like a monster that almost completely consumed the real me. I am so grateful the car broke down. I don't even care how much it costs to fix, again. I am so thankful I was isolated on the side of the road. It gave me time to step back and see the monster I am facing. He cant have me anymore!!! I choose to be free of the beast. I'm only on my 9th day, but I feel like shell came off my eyes. I see the beast that I have let win. He is strong, but my God is stronger!!
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