Two years sober today.
Two years sober today.
Alright guys - it's that time again. I'm two years sober today. I can't believe it. Two years and no blackouts or vomiting. Vomiting was such a regular thing for me. At least twice a month I was hunched over a toilet bowl in the middle of the night emptying the poison from my body.
I'm not sure if I would be where I am if I hadn't quit drinking. We bought a house last year, I started a business, I got a raise at work, and as of last month, my BF of 10 years and I are engaged. We're having a small ceremony at an inn on the water in Connecticut with family only. My fiance is finishing up his associates degree next month and I am so happy and proud of him. Had I been drinking, I don't think I could have been as supportive as I have been.
I still think about alcohol sometimes, but then I play the tape. It's mostly during times when drinking was paired with something else I enjoyed. One of my favorite things to do on Sunday was put on a big pot of sauce with sausages and meatballs, The baseball game is on and the windows are wide open to air out winters stuffiness. I'd pop open a crisp bottle of chardonnay. After a couple of glasses, I'd be feeling good, but as the time went on, my memory starts to slip. I finish the bottle of chardonnay and switch to beer or whatever we have around. More often than not, I start to get sad and resentful for no reason. To counteract the sadness, I drink more. My BF goes to work on something in the office, and although I told him I would stop after this last glass, I don't and continue to take swigs from the bottle of whiskey on the counter that I fill with water later on so he doesn't know. I put a show on and can't remember what I watched. It's just background noise while I browse Facebook and Instagram. My BF goes to bed and I stay up listening to music and drinking more. I brush my teeth to prepare for bed, but still take one more swig even after brushing. I get in bed. A few hours later I wake up with a pounding headache and there's something wet under my body. I stumble to the bathroom and when I get back, I realize I had wet the bed. I put a towel down and get back in bed. A couple of hours later I wake up again, but this time it's to be sick. I puke everything up, but I close the door and turn the faucet on thinking it'll help hide the noise. It doesn't, and when I get back in bed my BF touches my leg in comfort to see if I'm okay. The next morning is Monday and I call out sick. I sleep until late afternoon. I get up with a pounding headache and get the sheets I messed in the wash, but I pretend like it's something I've been meaning to do, so my BF doesn't know I wet the bed. It works, and he doesn't know. I vow to never drink again. The following Sunday I put a pot of sauce on with sausages and meatballs. I pop open that crisp bottle of chardonnay, and everything goes black again.
Quitting drinking was the best thing I have ever done. To whoever is reading this that might be struggling - your life is worth it. YOU are worth it. You can do this. I promise you - the other side is amazing. There is no glass of wine in the world that I would want to drink in exchange for what I have in my life right now. Be well for yourself and the people who love you <3
I'm not sure if I would be where I am if I hadn't quit drinking. We bought a house last year, I started a business, I got a raise at work, and as of last month, my BF of 10 years and I are engaged. We're having a small ceremony at an inn on the water in Connecticut with family only. My fiance is finishing up his associates degree next month and I am so happy and proud of him. Had I been drinking, I don't think I could have been as supportive as I have been.
I still think about alcohol sometimes, but then I play the tape. It's mostly during times when drinking was paired with something else I enjoyed. One of my favorite things to do on Sunday was put on a big pot of sauce with sausages and meatballs, The baseball game is on and the windows are wide open to air out winters stuffiness. I'd pop open a crisp bottle of chardonnay. After a couple of glasses, I'd be feeling good, but as the time went on, my memory starts to slip. I finish the bottle of chardonnay and switch to beer or whatever we have around. More often than not, I start to get sad and resentful for no reason. To counteract the sadness, I drink more. My BF goes to work on something in the office, and although I told him I would stop after this last glass, I don't and continue to take swigs from the bottle of whiskey on the counter that I fill with water later on so he doesn't know. I put a show on and can't remember what I watched. It's just background noise while I browse Facebook and Instagram. My BF goes to bed and I stay up listening to music and drinking more. I brush my teeth to prepare for bed, but still take one more swig even after brushing. I get in bed. A few hours later I wake up with a pounding headache and there's something wet under my body. I stumble to the bathroom and when I get back, I realize I had wet the bed. I put a towel down and get back in bed. A couple of hours later I wake up again, but this time it's to be sick. I puke everything up, but I close the door and turn the faucet on thinking it'll help hide the noise. It doesn't, and when I get back in bed my BF touches my leg in comfort to see if I'm okay. The next morning is Monday and I call out sick. I sleep until late afternoon. I get up with a pounding headache and get the sheets I messed in the wash, but I pretend like it's something I've been meaning to do, so my BF doesn't know I wet the bed. It works, and he doesn't know. I vow to never drink again. The following Sunday I put a pot of sauce on with sausages and meatballs. I pop open that crisp bottle of chardonnay, and everything goes black again.
Quitting drinking was the best thing I have ever done. To whoever is reading this that might be struggling - your life is worth it. YOU are worth it. You can do this. I promise you - the other side is amazing. There is no glass of wine in the world that I would want to drink in exchange for what I have in my life right now. Be well for yourself and the people who love you <3
So good to hear from you and that you're doing so well! Congrats on your sober time and all the other good news.
Hope to hear from you again. I sometimes link people to your threads about the wedding shower and wedding that you made it through in your early sobriety. Those are great threads.
Hope to hear from you again. I sometimes link people to your threads about the wedding shower and wedding that you made it through in your early sobriety. Those are great threads.
This makes me feel so good! It was important for me to attend those wedding activities. It equipped me for future weddings. In the next year I'm in two weddings, and need to attend three more as a guest. With that comes the showers and bachelorette parties. I just went to a bridal shower two weeks ago and there was a fruity drink being served with no sign on what it was! I asked before I poured and found out there was champagne in it. Sigh. I hope my story helps people!
Congrats!!! What an amazing post!
My story is similar about the drinking wine while cooking, filling the empty bottles, drinking in secret, hiding everything from my husband, feeling sad and resentful all the time.
Sober life is so great!
Thank you for sharing and inspiring!
My story is similar about the drinking wine while cooking, filling the empty bottles, drinking in secret, hiding everything from my husband, feeling sad and resentful all the time.
Sober life is so great!
Thank you for sharing and inspiring!
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