I feel like I’m going mad!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 64
I feel like I’m going mad!
hi guys
im 11 days sober today. Im usining the ‘I am sober app which helps a little.
i have left my abusive boyfriend for good . Which is another positive.
but I am totally isolated. I haven’t been out of my apartment about three weeks. I have no friends . My mum is being irritable with me calling me lazy because I don’t want to go out.
but if I do go out I know at this time I will buy alcohol. I feel like I’m going insane . I can feel the pressure buildup in my head . I’ve have just finished exercising and have to catch up on study . I am really craving getting tipsy but I know I’ll end up black out. So annoying.
just wanted to post it helps hearing what you guys have to say x
im 11 days sober today. Im usining the ‘I am sober app which helps a little.
i have left my abusive boyfriend for good . Which is another positive.
but I am totally isolated. I haven’t been out of my apartment about three weeks. I have no friends . My mum is being irritable with me calling me lazy because I don’t want to go out.
but if I do go out I know at this time I will buy alcohol. I feel like I’m going insane . I can feel the pressure buildup in my head . I’ve have just finished exercising and have to catch up on study . I am really craving getting tipsy but I know I’ll end up black out. So annoying.
just wanted to post it helps hearing what you guys have to say x
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi Holly,
Congratulations on Day 11. And, good for you for taking care of yourself and getting away from your abusive boyfriend. I think many of us feel isolated in early recovery because alcoholism isolates us and shuts us off from others. Hopefully you will feel like venturing out into the world bit by bit and doing things you enjoy. Do you know someone who is sober who could meet your coffee? That might be a good outing.
By the way, allowing anyone, including your mother, to name-call and label you as lazy is hurting your spirit. Think positive things about yourself today and what you have accomplished.
Congratulations on Day 11. And, good for you for taking care of yourself and getting away from your abusive boyfriend. I think many of us feel isolated in early recovery because alcoholism isolates us and shuts us off from others. Hopefully you will feel like venturing out into the world bit by bit and doing things you enjoy. Do you know someone who is sober who could meet your coffee? That might be a good outing.
By the way, allowing anyone, including your mother, to name-call and label you as lazy is hurting your spirit. Think positive things about yourself today and what you have accomplished.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 64
Thank you Anna
i have moved to a new town and literally don’t know anyone other than my mother ATM .
I am am planning on yoga lessons in the summer . To keep me focused and have something to aim for.
i am going to push throu the craving today it’s exhausting as you may well know
i feel better reading your post much appreciated x
i have moved to a new town and literally don’t know anyone other than my mother ATM .
I am am planning on yoga lessons in the summer . To keep me focused and have something to aim for.
i am going to push throu the craving today it’s exhausting as you may well know
i feel better reading your post much appreciated x
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Holly,
That is how I found SR. I was going insane. I didn't want to go to the Dr. because I knew he would prescribe some meds (e.g. anti depress etc). That would disqualify me from certain jobs technically.
I suffered through the hell and it took a long long long time. I am talking years. Some folks get through it faster, some take meds, some relapse.
I have a bit of PTSD from my experience, but I hope I never forget. If I forget, I might have a better chance of relapse.
I have lingering issues that I use to remind me that I have permanent brain damage from the booze.
I believe even moderate drinkers are permanently damaged e.g. if they stop drinking they will stress out.
I am very confident I will continue to feel more and more amazing as the years go by. I can honestly say that my world is 100% better as a born again non drinker.
I have the best of both worlds. I had a drunk life that was fun until it wasn't fun anymore and now I have a sober life that is spectacular.
My feeling and emotions are as true as they can be. I am more patient and have found that not getting worked up leads to much better results all of the time.
Many folks can't make it through the normalization process and relapse etc. It was well worth the pain.
Hope this helps you or someone else in some way.
Thanks.
That is how I found SR. I was going insane. I didn't want to go to the Dr. because I knew he would prescribe some meds (e.g. anti depress etc). That would disqualify me from certain jobs technically.
I suffered through the hell and it took a long long long time. I am talking years. Some folks get through it faster, some take meds, some relapse.
I have a bit of PTSD from my experience, but I hope I never forget. If I forget, I might have a better chance of relapse.
I have lingering issues that I use to remind me that I have permanent brain damage from the booze.
I believe even moderate drinkers are permanently damaged e.g. if they stop drinking they will stress out.
I am very confident I will continue to feel more and more amazing as the years go by. I can honestly say that my world is 100% better as a born again non drinker.
I have the best of both worlds. I had a drunk life that was fun until it wasn't fun anymore and now I have a sober life that is spectacular.
My feeling and emotions are as true as they can be. I am more patient and have found that not getting worked up leads to much better results all of the time.
Many folks can't make it through the normalization process and relapse etc. It was well worth the pain.
Hope this helps you or someone else in some way.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
I am also totally isolated. Friends/family live nowhere near me. Although, I prefer that way as I battle my alcoholism. What really helps is going to AA meetings. You can just sit in the back and listen if you like.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 64
I just wanted to let you all know that I didn’t give in to the cravings to drink . I am in bed it’s 11.30 pm UK time. I’m 11 days sober 12 tomorrow. I will wake up tomorrow clear headed and feeling healthy and happy and proud I didn’t drink . The more I resist drink the more I realize it gets better . Thank you all x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Great job on making it through the day, HD, and for recognizing your risks as well as that you need to do something when you start to feel stir crazy. Protecting yourself from the drink doesn't make you lazy. When you feel that you can go out without the option of buying alcohol, try then to get to a meeting. By making it when you don't feel so worried that you might do something that is a mistake, it might give you the idea that you can do so when you are feeling less certain -- because you have done it before and will know what you are doing and heading for at that moment. It will add to your overall experience of having a group that is part of your recovery and that you are not so alone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Hollydoll 
.....the only problem is I’ll have to catch a bus with anxiety but I think I will definitely benefit from AA
Thank you all x
Thank you all x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Hollydoll
I think most of us had no idea of how to rebuild our lives...I think it just takes time...you meet new people, you develop friendships, they'll only know you as a non drinker...it'll be OK.
II days can seem like a lifetime, but ti's really early days - things will get better
I couldn't focus on anything but not drinking for the first 30 days tho.
If you need to get out and take a walk around the block or go to AA that's fine - but keep your recovery your first priority
D
I think most of us had no idea of how to rebuild our lives...I think it just takes time...you meet new people, you develop friendships, they'll only know you as a non drinker...it'll be OK.
II days can seem like a lifetime, but ti's really early days - things will get better
I couldn't focus on anything but not drinking for the first 30 days tho.
If you need to get out and take a walk around the block or go to AA that's fine - but keep your recovery your first priority
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 64
Originally Posted by tomsteve
did you have anxiety when you were going to get the next drink?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 64
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hi Hollydoll
I think most of us had no idea of how to rebuild our lives...I think it just takes time...you meet new people, you develop friendships, they'll only know you as a non drinker...it'll be OK.
II days can seem like a lifetime, but ti's really early days - things will get better
I couldn't focus on anything but not drinking for the first 30 days tho.
If you need to get out and take a walk around the block or go to AA that's fine - but keep your recovery your first priority
D
I think most of us had no idea of how to rebuild our lives...I think it just takes time...you meet new people, you develop friendships, they'll only know you as a non drinker...it'll be OK.
II days can seem like a lifetime, but ti's really early days - things will get better
I couldn't focus on anything but not drinking for the first 30 days tho.
If you need to get out and take a walk around the block or go to AA that's fine - but keep your recovery your first priority
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 64
Woke up this morning feeling great- better mood - energetic and most of proud that I did not drink.
I know a lot of people today will be waking up with a hangover and I’m glad I’m not one of them.
I have been searching local AA meetings in my area and am planning on going to one this week or next.
I have also ordered the book -The unexpected joys of being sober -
my main focus I have realized has to be staying sober . And all the other things will eventually fall into place.
i am going to try and post and read here as I find this very helpful also.
x
I know a lot of people today will be waking up with a hangover and I’m glad I’m not one of them.
I have been searching local AA meetings in my area and am planning on going to one this week or next.
I have also ordered the book -The unexpected joys of being sober -
my main focus I have realized has to be staying sober . And all the other things will eventually fall into place.
i am going to try and post and read here as I find this very helpful also.
x
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,387
It's a great day to wake up sober and know what the score is, no doubt about it. Good going, Hollydoll! Sometimes in the early sober days things seem really weird, we've been there and know what that's like. But what is really truly crazy is the horrible alternative, continuing to ingest that poison when we don't have to. And things do tend to straighten out over the long haul I've found, as long as I stay on the right track and stay awake.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 64
Originally Posted by SnazzyDresser
It's a great day to wake up sober and know what the score is, no doubt about it. Good going, Hollydoll! Sometimes in the early sober days things seem really weird, we've been there and know what that's like. But what is really truly crazy is the horrible alternative, continuing to ingest that poison when we don't have to. And things do tend to straighten out over the long haul I've found, as long as I stay on the right track and stay awake.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 182
I have no idea of your location but I would highly recommend contacting Crisis Intervention Services. They can help so much in understanding living with an abusive partner. I saw them for eight months after my marriage ended, I wish I had involvement with them for the last two years before it ended. They even had a person at my deverce proceedings. The PTSD even if its mild is something that needs to be felt with front a center because it can interfere with your efforts of sobriety. This I know first hand.
I'm so happy you have your days of sobriety, find a meeting and talk with like minded people. 🙂
I'm so happy you have your days of sobriety, find a meeting and talk with like minded people. 🙂
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
