hellok19

Hi,
This is the 3rd day of not drinking and I need some support. I know that I need to make a change for my family and kids. I had a trigger Monday night when I found out my husbands blood sugar was 465 at the doctor. He doesn't know he was a diabetic or probably is. He is a heavy drinker but has reduced it. I got really drunk and was looking all over facebook at exs and messaging ppl and called ppl in the past. I don't care about these ppl...I know this I just have a binge drinking problem that needs to be stopped for me and my kids. Has anyone else done this when drunk and doesn't mean any of it? Made me feel so stupid like omg...here we go again with the shame and guilt.

AAPJ

Welcome. Could be worse.... a lot worse. Just keep reading here. I hope it gives you some gratitude. Just quit today. You can do it.

WhoDeyPI

Have I messaged and called exes when I was drunk?

NOOOOO, not me, no wayyyy!!

Yes. Yes I have. It didn't turn out well, but in the end, they all just wrote it off as "Chris was drunk again like usual". Proud to say that will NEVER happen again.

thomas11

Well, I have done it, but I learned a lesson and the last few years of my drinking I did not pick up my phone or log onto facebook. It was just a rule I had.

The larger issue is obviously your binge drinking. If its damaging your life and you think its a problem you need to address it. Be prepared to do one of the hardest things in your life. but it can be done.

least

I hope our support can help you stay sober for good.

Anna

Yes, I made phone calls that I never would have made if sober. And, yes, it does bring on more shame and guilt. That's the vicious cycle you need to step out of in order to heal. I think if you can take action at this point, and let go of blaming yourself, things will begin to improve.

MantaLady

Absolutely! I made phone calls and sent texts that I would have never done sober, not in a million years! My “aha” moment was after calling an ex booty call and waking up in the morning with him in my bed and no memory of the night or of calling him. I didn’t even like him...wtf?!? Got to the point that I had to check my call list to see who I had called each morning. As my drinking got worse I would wake up around 4am and delete my call list so I couldn’t check it when I got up. What you don’t know doesn’t hurt...stinking thinking at it’s best.

Nearly 10 months sober now and not one call has been made or text sent that I didn’t want to send or feel shame about. The relief of not having that to deal with in my life anymore is worth it’s weight in gold. xx

Tinkerbeau

Repeatedly used to do it, humiliated myself over and over, in the end i didnt dare even have any social media, and to be honest no friends either. Any possible relationships i messed up as once i had someones number the texts would be embarrassing at stupid hours of the night and they just thought i was nuts (possibly was for drinking). I also used to do the thing of just deleting everything and pretend it never happened. I never want to go through any of it again.

Hevyn

Hi hellok. I definitely did many out-of-character things when drinking. I cringe when I think of them. The drunk me is nothing like the actual me. That's why the only way I can stay safe is to remain sober.

Glad you posted - things will get better.

NotMe2pls

Yes, definitely been there many, many times. Unfortunately! Waking up to see the random texts. But the worst was the phone calls. Lasting like an hour. And I only remembered maybe 5 minutes of it. No telling what I said. Sometimes people would tell me bits & pieces & I wouldn’t want to hear the rest. Their reaction towards me was enough to let me know. And after awhile I didn’t hear from them again. Lost pretty much all of my friends this way. And possible partners. I was too mortified to contact them again so I’d change their names to different things in my phone to keep me from doing it again drunk. I still don’t have the nerve to contact anyone.
So no, you are not alone in the shame & guilt & humiliation & confusion. Luckily, that is one thing I haven’t had to deal with in the past 53 days & it is SUCH a relief! I still feel shame & embarrassment for what I did in the past. But I can’t change it. What I can change is what I do now. And not adding even one more shameful act to the mountain of shames is empowering!