AmbyMarie

Bonniefloyd

My husband drinks every night. This used to be a big issue for me during my previous attempts at sobriety, but not so much this time.

I have decided that I’m cool with people drinking around me, even if it means sitting in a restaurant across from my husband while he sips my favorite wine. If I let this bother me too much, I’ll end up saying eff it and pouring myself a glass. My sobriety depends on me doing my thing while others do theirs.

When it does bother me, I just remind myself that my feelings are on me, and I need to get my head right. (Sometimes a short walk is good for this.)

Of course I’m only on day 42, so I’m not claiming to actually know a single thing about sobriety. I do have my struggles, but having decided not to let this one thing bother me has been very helpful.

Fearlessat50

I am not bothered by people drinking around me, unless they are drinking to get drunk. This is not because I am feeling like I’m missing out on the party. It’s because I don’t think drunk is a good look on anyone, I feel slightly uncomfortable and embarrassed about what the person might say or do, and I am concerned for the toll drinking will have in their health.

I used to feel jeoulous of normie drinkers too. I don’t anymore, though. Everyone has a different path. My drinking never got out of control until my forties, so I was relatively normal until then. Some folks will stay normie throughout their life. Others will progressively go down the alcoholic path like I did. You will see as you get older. You are pretty young.

In any case, I’m glad I don’t drink at all anymore. Even the normies are drinking to take the edge off and get a slight buzz, I believe. Who drinks just because they like the taste of alcohol? I’d rather have a water or Diet Coke and be fully aware in the present

Buckley3

A little. Sometimes there's this feeling - and I'll admit it can get a bit strong - like I'm missing something. Kinda what you described really - I think that's completely normal. But it's not real - it's totally in our heads.

Rabbit trails of thoughts. They don't tend to stick around long and they don't stand up to good, sound rationality.

I am most certainly not missing anything.

As soon as I ask myself what my larger plan is or remind myself that I don't drink and find something else to turn my attention to I'm right as rain. Or I'll catch that sour smell of stale booze - maybe on someone, or maybe coming from old bar mats - and I remember how toxic the stuff is. Whatever the case I've never regretted not drinking...ever.

-B

babycat

I don't mind, it does not bother me. BUT, it sure does get boring very fast. Even if they are not sloppy drunk, it is just different. I have a couple non drinking friends that have always hung out with my group of friends regularly and I am not sure how or why they do lol. It is good to see my friends for an hour or two and then I am ready to bounce.

WhoDeyPI

I'm the opposite. When I first "went sober" my family/friends were all whispers every time I was around...

"shhhh we can't talk about alcohol, Chris is around."

"no one plan on drinking tonight, Chris will be here."

"make sure all alcohol is out of view, Chris is coming."

It was extremely uncomfortable and awkward for me. I finally made a huge announcement that it was making me uncomfortable that people feel like they have to change themselves when I'm around. Drink your wine, drink your whiskey, I'll drink my ginger ale.

I mean I get it. It's a stereotype and a mindset made popular by pop culture that alcoholics cannot be around alcohol. Like I'm going to get "triggered" and run around the house chugging everything in sight. Maybe some are like that, but not me.

AmbyMarie

Evoo

My family did that after I got drunk at a family function 4-5 years ago and passed out on the couch. It was super clear I was struggling with alcohol and was in a bad place. And I come from a family of a lot of big drinkers.

But I wasn’t committed to sobriety, so the entire thing felt more like a punishment than anything else. They continued it for awhile, and then when family felt comfortable offering me drinks again, I felt like I was returning to “normal.” I took my *real* drinking to a private place and was very careful not to get “too” drunk around my family.

It honestly feels good to choose sobriety from a place where family feels I’ve “recovered” and not the hushed whispers, putting liquor out of sight... I can’t begin to say how much I hated that..

Retrospectively, I get it.

WhoDeyPI

My moms brother (my uncle) died of alcohol reasons. In his 40s, he was diagnosed with cirrhosis after a lifetime of abusing alcohol. I too have cirrhosis, but he never stopped drinking. He eventually took his own life because he decided it was the only way he could stop drinking.

That being said, I haven't had the heart to tell my parents the seriousness of my condition. They know I have liver issues, they know I struggled with alcohol issues, and they know I was in the hospital. They don't know the severity, because I don't want them to be concerned with it.

But anyway, my point in all this is....after I talked with everyone like I mentioned, my parents have gone back to drinking around me. Drinking as in...1-2 glasses of wine..."normal" drinking. They have also asked me a few times if I'm "still doing the no alcohol thing, since I'm 'healthy' again". So I have to explain to them that the "no alcohol thing" doesn't have an end date. I don't want to tell them that I may look healthy, but my liver is failing and I'm dying. That would break them.

I feel like I just rambled on and on...so hopefully this made sense LOL

MLD51

As others have said, it only bothers me if people are drinking to get drunk. I never feel like I'd like to join them anymore, that feeling faded away pretty fast after I quit. I can be in places with alcohol, and with people who are drinking, and barely notice it. I get something good to eat, enjoy the conversation, and leave if people are getting drunk. I pretty much always have an escape plan. If I do get stuck somewhere and I don't have my own car and unexpected drunkenness happens (other people), it's extremely uncomfortable for me, so I do try to avoid that situation at all costs. Watching other people get really drunk is a mixed-bag of emotions for me. It's annoying, sad, scary sometimes. I hate seeing people I care about doing that to themselves, especially if they make a habit of it. It's just hard to observe, so I try not to. But normal drinking doesn't bother me to see.

serenitynowplz

Brightsky

I'm in agreement that it doesn't bother me unless people are out to get really drunk. . Something I also notice nowadays is how much I can SMELL alcohol on people if they've been drinking, and I think omg did I used to smell like that?? 😮 It's horrible!