New plan
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
New plan
I’ve relapsed more than probably most this month. I’m taking action. Water isn’t helping my gastritis so I’m taking pedialyte advanced, vitamins. I’m giving myself permission to stay in bed today. Taking multivitamins and soup. Tomorrow I’m back at it. My wedding dress came in the mail today, it’s beautiful .... will be great on me in three weeks when I lose some of this bloat. I ordered refuge recovery and SMART recovery workbook. I ordered a vegan meal prep and dog treats to my friend’s house who won’t even speak to me because I was such a drunk and out of it idiot two weeks ago. Tomorrow will be gym grocery day, today is just rest. I’m on day 3 although I did have 1 drink day 1 and 2 to stop my shakes. My heart was racing, I was sweating. I’m doing my best to avoid inpatient rehab and I’m sure if I get some support and determination I can, but if I relapse again I’m going. January was bad but February is going to be my comeback.
In a month can I turn this around? Lose weight, find work? Get better? Did anyone else have a miracle turn around in 30 days?
In a month can I turn this around? Lose weight, find work? Get better? Did anyone else have a miracle turn around in 30 days?
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Originally Posted by mariposa 
In a month can I turn this around? Lose weight, find work? Get better? Did anyone else have a miracle turn around in 30 days?
Going to sleep on night 26 of sobreity. Had a close call tonight but SR saved me!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
What I know is, early recovery requires a lot of patience. It was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn. It sounds to me like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself by trying to turn things around for your upcoming wedding in 3 weeks. The main thing is to stay sober and I hope you can focus on that. 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
Originally Posted by mariposa
In a month can I turn this around? Lose weight, find work? Get better? Did anyone else have a miracle turn around in 30 days?
Things like coping mechanisms, forgiveness, emotional stability, and getting to the root of why you drink take time unfortunately. As addicts we want instant gratification but you need to put in the time and work to see the results. I am just as guilty of this as well.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
You can definitely make a difference in 30 days, you've had sobriety before, and you know how good things can be.
Sounds like you've got lots of things to look forward to in the next few weeks. When is your wedding?
Sounds like you've got lots of things to look forward to in the next few weeks. When is your wedding?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Originally Posted by Delilah1
You can definitely make a difference in 30 days, you've had sobriety before, and you know how good things can be.
Sounds like you've got lots of things to look forward to in the next few weeks. When is your wedding?
Sounds like you've got lots of things to look forward to in the next few weeks. When is your wedding?
three short weeks away. Small ceremony, lots to do and find work, a lot is on my plate right now
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I am feeling very....direct...today.
You are technically, and I would count, on day one. My day count means NO alcohol. Do with that thought what you will.
I would postpone my wedding. Period, end of story. Or I would get married in a courthouse (we actually did that, for a few reasons- and we kept our first year a secret). I would leave it to my fiance to tell people, handle details, talk to vendors - basically do most of the heavy lifting. All the details really don't matter, especially if you like back on them through a lense and see that you were drinking.
I would put my sobriety first. Period.
I would get outside help to use the SMART and AVRT workbooks you ordered - doing this alone, particularly with your HUGE expectations of what will happen in 30 days sounds like setting yourself up for frustration - and drinking again. I would do a routine with SR. I would use every resource under the sun particularly if you stay on the course you have shared with us.
I might hate hearing someone tell me all this - but I promise you that by putting my recovery first, now, and especially at the place you are, has never failed me.
Respectfully, your plan has a lot of expectations and hopes and needs a lot of foundation - and focus on life beyond these 27 (?) days.
Whether you listen, like or even give a second thought to my comments, I sincerely wish you the best, and a permanent future beyond sobriety rather in recovery.
You are technically, and I would count, on day one. My day count means NO alcohol. Do with that thought what you will.
I would postpone my wedding. Period, end of story. Or I would get married in a courthouse (we actually did that, for a few reasons- and we kept our first year a secret). I would leave it to my fiance to tell people, handle details, talk to vendors - basically do most of the heavy lifting. All the details really don't matter, especially if you like back on them through a lense and see that you were drinking.
I would put my sobriety first. Period.
I would get outside help to use the SMART and AVRT workbooks you ordered - doing this alone, particularly with your HUGE expectations of what will happen in 30 days sounds like setting yourself up for frustration - and drinking again. I would do a routine with SR. I would use every resource under the sun particularly if you stay on the course you have shared with us.
I might hate hearing someone tell me all this - but I promise you that by putting my recovery first, now, and especially at the place you are, has never failed me.
Respectfully, your plan has a lot of expectations and hopes and needs a lot of foundation - and focus on life beyond these 27 (?) days.
Whether you listen, like or even give a second thought to my comments, I sincerely wish you the best, and a permanent future beyond sobriety rather in recovery.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,189
I must say, my very first thought after reading your post was "Gosh, I would postpone the wedding, and get healthy first." I see that August has shared that same reaction. I would hate to go into a marriage while walking the tightrope in my sobriety ( first 3-4 months, IMO).
Have you thought about it....postponing?
Have you thought about it....postponing?
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 241
My first thirty days were pretty tough. I basically stayed kind to myself, threw myself into aa, ate as much chocolate as I wanted, and focused on healing. I don’t know that I would have been successful if I had so many expectations. Staying sober, was the only thing I could do some days. I can’t imagine planning and getting married in my first month. Is their anyway to postpone it? If not, try and be patient and gentle with yourself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
I agree, and appreciate all advice, especially direct advice. The thing is we have 90 day to get married and 6 weeks has already passed. The wedding is my mom, dad, my fiancé and myself. Because I need two witnesses. The drink was to keep my heart from stopping.
i will delete this later but while my main problem is alcohol, it’s not my only problem. I have been using cocaine. Very rarely, not daily but yes it was there to keep me going on drinking without blackouts and on two day benders. I am very ashamed but I’m doing whatever it takes to stay clean. I literally was awake 4-5 hours yesterday and sleeping. I don’t know how all this started or I got myself this way but I’m going to get out of it.
i will delete this later but while my main problem is alcohol, it’s not my only problem. I have been using cocaine. Very rarely, not daily but yes it was there to keep me going on drinking without blackouts and on two day benders. I am very ashamed but I’m doing whatever it takes to stay clean. I literally was awake 4-5 hours yesterday and sleeping. I don’t know how all this started or I got myself this way but I’m going to get out of it.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Well I didn't have the huevos to post initially in this thread. I thought "Oh wow, I didn't see you mention marriage in any other thread". I thought "Sheesh, I can't imagine getting married while trying to do all these other things". I thought "the marriage is mentioned as part of the list. Quit drinking, do the laundry, quit cocaine, get a job, not blackout, run to the market, get married, vacuum"....so it all just threw me. And now you have 90 days to get married? I mean, it this a 'fake' marriage....the kind ya do when you're helping someone get citizenship?
I thought "Where's the fiance in all this?".
I have absolutely no idea what to advise you. If you can stay clean of drugs and alcohol that would be my only suggestion. I hope you are ok. Don't be afraid to get more help if you need it. And congratulations, right?
I thought "Where's the fiance in all this?".
I have absolutely no idea what to advise you. If you can stay clean of drugs and alcohol that would be my only suggestion. I hope you are ok. Don't be afraid to get more help if you need it. And congratulations, right?
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
This is a REAL marriage, fights, enabling, and all. We’ve lived together for three years and just moved back to the USA. I’m the problem and he enables. Yes it is a handful being a functioning addict not functioning and we have just blocked all numbers of any party friends. Have to be cruel to be kind.
I do do have an interview on Wednesday and I hope this is my one chance to get my life back on track. Grocery shopping, gym, lesson planning, meetings.... Netflix, some yoga detox retreat weekends not travel to party places. Spending on my skin and hair not on drinking. When I work I’m focused, I have a purpose, when I don’t I’m aimless and fall apart. I have so many dreams, travel, write a book, lose 15 lbs 🤷🏼*♀️ But all of it falls apart with the party.
I do do have an interview on Wednesday and I hope this is my one chance to get my life back on track. Grocery shopping, gym, lesson planning, meetings.... Netflix, some yoga detox retreat weekends not travel to party places. Spending on my skin and hair not on drinking. When I work I’m focused, I have a purpose, when I don’t I’m aimless and fall apart. I have so many dreams, travel, write a book, lose 15 lbs 🤷🏼*♀️ But all of it falls apart with the party.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
I highly doubt Wednesday is the only or one chance you will have to improve your chances for getting back on track( and running around that track , kicking butt and taking names), but I do think that not kicking the partying to the curb will destroy any chance you can give yourself.
rootin for ya
rootin for ya
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Thank you all for your responses and non judgements, I’m not your typical addict. I have a good family, highly educated, professional, faithful person. One issue is also I’m a people pleaser and I get into taking in people down on their luck and getting dragged down. Spending $200 for a nightly party when in reality it takes maybe $15 for my own bar tab. So today I blocked all numbers of users and party contacts. I have found a principal in my field to speak with me about why I’m not getting work and she may put me in as a substitute while my license gets transferred here. So I do NOT want to let her down and give my 150% to be a good employee.
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