Day 1 God please help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 271
Day 1 God please help
Another binge another night drunk dialling/texting. Another night in the pub making a fool out of myself.
Another night phoning Alcoholics Anonymous late at night.
Tge sun rose this morning but I did not rise. I stayed in bed till 3pm writhing in cribbling regret and anxiety. Also failed to turn up to work.
i am trying to remember a time where I did not feel like this? Think it was in my 20’s. Ageing and drinking do not mix at least not for me.
The solution according to AA is to go to meetings. I have been to 3 meeting and found them very stressful and the programme seems very difficult.
i can’t go on like this.
Another night phoning Alcoholics Anonymous late at night.
Tge sun rose this morning but I did not rise. I stayed in bed till 3pm writhing in cribbling regret and anxiety. Also failed to turn up to work.
i am trying to remember a time where I did not feel like this? Think it was in my 20’s. Ageing and drinking do not mix at least not for me.
The solution according to AA is to go to meetings. I have been to 3 meeting and found them very stressful and the programme seems very difficult.
i can’t go on like this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Highercall 
The solution according to AA is to go to meetings.
here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery.
meeting makers make meetings.
meeting makers that work the steps recover from the hopeless state of body and mind.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 80
Sorry to hear you are having a rough time, Highercall. The day after a bout of binge drinking can be awful, and I've had my fair share of them.
What is it specifically about AA that you find so difficult? The core of AA is really about working the 12 steps with the guidance of a sponsor. Have you tried that?
What is it specifically about AA that you find so difficult? The core of AA is really about working the 12 steps with the guidance of a sponsor. Have you tried that?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 83
Today sounds really rough. I've been there and that day after a binge is the worst, closely followed by the next few days of piecing it all together. Try to do what you can for self care, get yourself back to good health and start working on your recovery plan. Whether that involves AA or not is up to you, but the fact that you reached out here is a great start.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
There are many of us who went thru a rehab
facility to teach us about addiction and it's
affects on our own minds and bodies as well
as a solution, positive, helpful, effective solution
in the way of a program and guideline to incorporate
on a continuous bases and in all areas of our
lives.
For me, I took advantage of a 28 day instay
rehab with a 6 week outpatient to complete
that portion of the program. Once, I was released,
I took what was taught to me and expanded on
it, building a strong, solid recovery foundation
to live my life upon and put my addiction to
rest.
Those 28 days of my life, living in an inviroment
where I have a bed to sleep in, food to eat, a
roof over my head, no alcohol to reach while
purging that poison and toxins out of my body
and clear away the fog so that I could accept
the knowledge they were feeding me.
28 day is a small amount of time to allow
a good start to healing myself and get off
that merry go round af insanity that comes
with addiction.
Give yourself that gift of help and recovery
to begin your new journey and a second chance
at living a new life in a healthy, happy, honest
way of life free from your addiction.
This gift was given to me 28 yrs ago at
the young age of 30 as I continue today
listening, learning, absorbing and applying
even more new exciting ways
to enjoy life sober at my age.
facility to teach us about addiction and it's
affects on our own minds and bodies as well
as a solution, positive, helpful, effective solution
in the way of a program and guideline to incorporate
on a continuous bases and in all areas of our
lives.
For me, I took advantage of a 28 day instay
rehab with a 6 week outpatient to complete
that portion of the program. Once, I was released,
I took what was taught to me and expanded on
it, building a strong, solid recovery foundation
to live my life upon and put my addiction to
rest.
Those 28 days of my life, living in an inviroment
where I have a bed to sleep in, food to eat, a
roof over my head, no alcohol to reach while
purging that poison and toxins out of my body
and clear away the fog so that I could accept
the knowledge they were feeding me.
28 day is a small amount of time to allow
a good start to healing myself and get off
that merry go round af insanity that comes
with addiction.
Give yourself that gift of help and recovery
to begin your new journey and a second chance
at living a new life in a healthy, happy, honest
way of life free from your addiction.
This gift was given to me 28 yrs ago at
the young age of 30 as I continue today
listening, learning, absorbing and applying
even more new exciting ways
to enjoy life sober at my age.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 449
Hi Highercall.
I am on my first day too
At the moment I have no solution to my drinking apart from the same feeling you seem to convey, that drinking just leads to utter misery. It just accumulates into a bigger and bigger piece of utter ****!
I'm trying not to think of what support I will get. Today I'm just focusing on the simple realisation that my first step is just not to drink. Not to despair and not to think too far ahead.
I haven't even washed or brushed my teeth today, I still feel all the aftermath from the drinking but today all I'm bothered about is distracting myself and believing tomorrow will be a little bit better and then a little better the day after that. Once I'm in that frame of mind, then I will start thinking about longer-term plans and recovery path.
Good luck to you, if you ever want to chat just let me know. Since we at the same stage it will help me also. At the this moment my friend, we have two very clear choices. To drink or not to drink.
I am on my first day too
At the moment I have no solution to my drinking apart from the same feeling you seem to convey, that drinking just leads to utter misery. It just accumulates into a bigger and bigger piece of utter ****!
I'm trying not to think of what support I will get. Today I'm just focusing on the simple realisation that my first step is just not to drink. Not to despair and not to think too far ahead.
I haven't even washed or brushed my teeth today, I still feel all the aftermath from the drinking but today all I'm bothered about is distracting myself and believing tomorrow will be a little bit better and then a little better the day after that. Once I'm in that frame of mind, then I will start thinking about longer-term plans and recovery path.
Good luck to you, if you ever want to chat just let me know. Since we at the same stage it will help me also. At the this moment my friend, we have two very clear choices. To drink or not to drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 271
Thank you all for your responses. I don’t know how to Pricate message people how is this done?
soberwolf hopefully we can help each other. I agree with your approach of just getting through the first day.
i was just too I’ll/anxious to go to A.A. today
soberwolf hopefully we can help each other. I agree with your approach of just getting through the first day.
i was just too I’ll/anxious to go to A.A. today
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi Highercall. You know, you never have to feel this way again! Are you willing to go to any lengths so you don't have to?!
My first AA meeting was 16 years ago. I never went back. Listened to the differences instead of the similarities. 5 and a half years ago I found myself in AA again. Didn't stay long. About a year later back in. Back out. Last year I had 2 months sober. Then picked up again. In April I had a 10 day drinking and xanax fuelled binge. I won't go into it here my story is under my threads if you wanna read it. At the end of the binge I was black and blue all over but lucky to be alive. I went back to AA and just said please help me! I fully surrendered. Alcohol was my master! It had complete control over me, I was absolutely powerless and I was under no illusion that it's ultimate goal to was kill me.
I had no where else to go. It literally was stop drinking or die and I certainly couldn't stop drinking by myself. I needed help. I just kept going to meetings. I got numbers. I prayed a lot. This time I asked someone to sponsor me. I never did before. The first woman I asked couldn't do it. I then asked my now sponsor. She has been a Godsend. She has helped me so much and we started working on the solution. The 12 steps.
I am now a week shy of 9 months sober. Has it been easy. Errrr,,,, no. Somedays I wanted to drink so so bad! But I didn't. I did everything that was suggested and more to just not pick up that first drink just for that day only and every night I got my head on the pillow sober was a victory for me.
I am now on step 4. After 8 months it started getting easier for me. Drinking urges/cravings became more like drinking thoughts that are so much easier to handle. I am so grateful that I never picked up a drink all those times I wanted to. Yes it was hard but hell, no harder than what you are experiencing right now!
Jump into AA. Get yourself in the middle of the life boat. If you are truly alcoholic then you have a progressive Illness that will never get better only worse. If you are truly alcoholic then to drink is to die. You need never go through this again. Get to the meetings, all the time you are at a meeting is time that you won't be picking up a drink. Keep going back like your life depended on it. Because it does. If you hear someone share and you like their story and want what they have ask them to sponsor you. You will be so much safer with a sponsor so try to get one as soon as possible. Don't hang around!!! Just keep going and going and going. Don't give up. It gets easier and it gets better. It really does. I can say this now because I have experienced it myself.
I couldn't imagine a life without alcohol. In the end I couldn't imagine a life with alcohol either .But there is hope for me now. I am so so grateful to be living in the solution today. AA has literally saved my life. And I may add , so has Sober Recovery.
Your life is worth fighting for Highercall. Fight for it with every thing you have!!!
My first AA meeting was 16 years ago. I never went back. Listened to the differences instead of the similarities. 5 and a half years ago I found myself in AA again. Didn't stay long. About a year later back in. Back out. Last year I had 2 months sober. Then picked up again. In April I had a 10 day drinking and xanax fuelled binge. I won't go into it here my story is under my threads if you wanna read it. At the end of the binge I was black and blue all over but lucky to be alive. I went back to AA and just said please help me! I fully surrendered. Alcohol was my master! It had complete control over me, I was absolutely powerless and I was under no illusion that it's ultimate goal to was kill me.
I had no where else to go. It literally was stop drinking or die and I certainly couldn't stop drinking by myself. I needed help. I just kept going to meetings. I got numbers. I prayed a lot. This time I asked someone to sponsor me. I never did before. The first woman I asked couldn't do it. I then asked my now sponsor. She has been a Godsend. She has helped me so much and we started working on the solution. The 12 steps.
I am now a week shy of 9 months sober. Has it been easy. Errrr,,,, no. Somedays I wanted to drink so so bad! But I didn't. I did everything that was suggested and more to just not pick up that first drink just for that day only and every night I got my head on the pillow sober was a victory for me.
I am now on step 4. After 8 months it started getting easier for me. Drinking urges/cravings became more like drinking thoughts that are so much easier to handle. I am so grateful that I never picked up a drink all those times I wanted to. Yes it was hard but hell, no harder than what you are experiencing right now!
Jump into AA. Get yourself in the middle of the life boat. If you are truly alcoholic then you have a progressive Illness that will never get better only worse. If you are truly alcoholic then to drink is to die. You need never go through this again. Get to the meetings, all the time you are at a meeting is time that you won't be picking up a drink. Keep going back like your life depended on it. Because it does. If you hear someone share and you like their story and want what they have ask them to sponsor you. You will be so much safer with a sponsor so try to get one as soon as possible. Don't hang around!!! Just keep going and going and going. Don't give up. It gets easier and it gets better. It really does. I can say this now because I have experienced it myself.
I couldn't imagine a life without alcohol. In the end I couldn't imagine a life with alcohol either .But there is hope for me now. I am so so grateful to be living in the solution today. AA has literally saved my life. And I may add , so has Sober Recovery.
Your life is worth fighting for Highercall. Fight for it with every thing you have!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Your scenario sounds awfully familiar to me. Never have I planned out an evening where I decided to go out to the pub, get drunk and obnoxious, followed by sending stupid messages through text/social media/phone calls. I only ever set out to have a few pints and chill out. 9 times out of 10, I can drink without consequences, but that one bad night is always lurking.
I am sure most people probably realize that you just had too much to drink and won't hold anything against you. Although, I know the guilt and shame you feel. It's enough to drink again the next day in order to deal with it.
I am sure most people probably realize that you just had too much to drink and won't hold anything against you. Although, I know the guilt and shame you feel. It's enough to drink again the next day in order to deal with it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Well it's day one. Breeeaaatthh. Take it easy. Totally normal to feel like poop and overwhelmed.
If you like AA, just go. Sit there. Listen. That's all you have to do. When you are feeling better, maybe introduce yourself as a newcomer. You might be surprised to find that folks will reach out to you. Listen to what is said. If there is someone that has what you want, maybe introduce yourself. Just say you need help.
Those are the magic words. Be easy on yourself. Kicking your own azz really doesn't help anything. As long as you don't drink, you are right where you should be.
If you like AA, just go. Sit there. Listen. That's all you have to do. When you are feeling better, maybe introduce yourself as a newcomer. You might be surprised to find that folks will reach out to you. Listen to what is said. If there is someone that has what you want, maybe introduce yourself. Just say you need help.
Those are the magic words. Be easy on yourself. Kicking your own azz really doesn't help anything. As long as you don't drink, you are right where you should be.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Highercall
i can’t go on like this.
You've basically posted the same thing today that you've posted literally a dozen or more times over the past months. And every time you post a couple of times about how bad you feel, and then you disappear until the next binge. You've also been given the same helpful advice by lots of people each time you've posted here.
I'd recommend going back and reading through all the fantastic advice you've been given after your previous binges and write down a list on a piece of paper all the things that you think might be necessary for you do to. Then transpose them into a written plan and share it here. Print or write a copy of it and take it with to one of your AA meetings too and ask for input. See about getting a sponsor too if you are considering continuing on with AA - because working the steps is where AA really works for you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Wishing you all the best HC., Actions the key to success - get things in motion and follow through with them.
Use those God given talents we all possess.
You can make this your turning point
D
Use those God given talents we all possess.
You can make this your turning point
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,975
Hi HC, it’s good you reached out. Please try to post before you drink. I have talked myself out of a drink plenty of times coming here first. Sometimes I will ramble on and outline my thoughts here and it is really helpful. So grateful for SR allowing me to do this. Other times, I may just logon and read other posts.
I agree with tomsteve on the twelve steps. I’ve never even gone to AA but I do practice the steps. I’ve done a lot of recovery reading.
You can do this!
I agree with tomsteve on the twelve steps. I’ve never even gone to AA but I do practice the steps. I’ve done a lot of recovery reading.
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
AA works for many but not everyone. There are many other groups and options such as therapist, in or out patient options, reading. I come back after putting myself through hell and shame too. I know staying sober isn’t easy, but I won’t give up trying. Stay strong.... every second away from alcohol is one second closer to a better life.
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