Backwards thinking
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Backwards thinking
Hello SR, I’m on day 6 and completely exhausted. Even small tasks are difficult for me. I went through extreme stress and extreme partying for a few months, took a break, then many more weeks of extreme stress and partying. Now I’m without confidence or motivation. I am making it to the gym almost daily this week and resting a lot.
My dad is on me to get a job, hit the ground running. I can’t, I don’t want to tell him about my addiction. I’m in a profession where clients rely on me to be 100% , so I don’t want to interview this week, maybe next week.
Last night it hit me that through all this big life change I expected once I get settled in, employment, and organized in my new life then I will be okay. But that’s backwards. I need to first be okay before anything else can be okay in my life. So I’m taking time to get myself better before I can even contemplate more obligations. An inpatient rehab with counseling would be best but I don’t have the resources, my rehab is on here and at home with Netflix on my couch.
My dad is on me to get a job, hit the ground running. I can’t, I don’t want to tell him about my addiction. I’m in a profession where clients rely on me to be 100% , so I don’t want to interview this week, maybe next week.
Last night it hit me that through all this big life change I expected once I get settled in, employment, and organized in my new life then I will be okay. But that’s backwards. I need to first be okay before anything else can be okay in my life. So I’m taking time to get myself better before I can even contemplate more obligations. An inpatient rehab with counseling would be best but I don’t have the resources, my rehab is on here and at home with Netflix on my couch.
That is a great insight. Let yourself heal before taking on too much, is what I'd recommend.
You seem to be on the right track, now just don't drink and things will fall into place for you.
Best wishes.
You seem to be on the right track, now just don't drink and things will fall into place for you.
Best wishes.
Mariposa, you have done a proper evaluation, IMO, and that's what I did. Before I could go back to working I had to get myself onto a better track, and that meant quitting the alcohol and addressing other important aspects needed for my recovery to begin and to continue. Now I've been back at work and am doing so with confidence and enjoyment more than I had than when I used the booze. Carry it forward for yourself, and your being here is a help to others, too. Nicely thought out.
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