Bad cold reminding me of drinking
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Washington
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Bad cold reminding me of drinking
I’ve been stuck home the last several days with an awful cold flu bug. I have been laying in bed or on the couch for a few days. It’s brought up some anxiety for me, this is exactly what I was doing the last year of drinking. I constantly told people I was sick, and proceed to drink and basically do absolutely nothing but lay around. If I didn’t need to get alcohol, I wouldn’t have left the house. I would stay just drunk enough to not care about anything, but make it look like I was functioning. Everything was surface level “clean”. I would be dying inside, but make sure to shower and put on makeup before anyone saw me. My dishes would be done, but every closet stuffed to the brim with disorganized chaos. My kids would be clean and dressed nicely, but I would be passed out while they were at school. I have a vivid memory at one of my kids parties, sneaking a guzzle of my hidden vodka, in the kitchen while everyone was outside, and projectile vomiting it all back up in the sink, even having it come out my nose I puked so hard. I literally grabbed a towel and whipped my face and nose a few seconds before some guests came into the kitchen. I then had a lovely surface level chat with them, without anyone knowing the whole scene that had just unfolded. Everything was hanging on by a thread, well until it wasn’t anymore. Thanks for reading if you still are, today I am grateful that just a cold has me down. Not alcohol. 109 days sober and going strong.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Congratulations on 109 days, that's great.
I was a knee walking, nose puking drunk so I know where you're coming from.
I also lay around either drinking or recovering, and only leave the house for more booze. Or to go to work where I worked with heavy drinkers, so booze was never far away.
I lived like that for the last ten years of my drinking.
I now have ten years sober.
You can do it, too.
I'm sorry you're ill but, I hate to say this, it may help your sobriety to remember what it was like. Even if it is triggering memories of drinking.
I hope you feel better soon!
I was a knee walking, nose puking drunk so I know where you're coming from.
I also lay around either drinking or recovering, and only leave the house for more booze. Or to go to work where I worked with heavy drinkers, so booze was never far away.
I lived like that for the last ten years of my drinking.
I now have ten years sober.
You can do it, too.
I'm sorry you're ill but, I hate to say this, it may help your sobriety to remember what it was like. Even if it is triggering memories of drinking.
I hope you feel better soon!
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 241
Originally Posted by Ghostlight1 
Congratulations on 109 days, that's great.
I was a knee walking, nose puking drunk so I know where you're coming from.
I also lay around either drinking or recovering, and only leave the house for more booze. Or to go to work where I worked with heavy drinkers, so booze was never far away.
I lived like that for the last ten years of my drinking.
I now have ten years sober.
You can do it, too.
I'm sorry you're ill but, I hate to say this, it may help your sobriety to remember what it was like. Even if it is triggering memories of drinking.
I hope you feel better soon!
I was a knee walking, nose puking drunk so I know where you're coming from.
I also lay around either drinking or recovering, and only leave the house for more booze. Or to go to work where I worked with heavy drinkers, so booze was never far away.
I lived like that for the last ten years of my drinking.
I now have ten years sober.
You can do it, too.
I'm sorry you're ill but, I hate to say this, it may help your sobriety to remember what it was like. Even if it is triggering memories of drinking.
I hope you feel better soon!
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
The flu making you bed bound.
And to think that’s how alcohol used to make us every day.
Who wants to be ill!? Not me.
Just about recovered from pneumonia, taken a few months. That too reminded me of how I used to choose to live.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.
109 days ! Great stuff Kiki 26
And to think that’s how alcohol used to make us every day.
Who wants to be ill!? Not me.
Just about recovered from pneumonia, taken a few months. That too reminded me of how I used to choose to live.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.
109 days ! Great stuff Kiki 26
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
^^^^Ditto, for me too. Terrible way to live and I did it for a long time.
I remember the first time I got really sick in sobriety - and during months 9-10 for me, I had strep once, the flu and a bad cold. My primary thought was thank God I wasn't drinking bc it would have been so much worse.
Hope you feel better soon and remember that you won't feel like this forever, because of the flu, and don't have to feel like it again, because of alcohol!
I remember the first time I got really sick in sobriety - and during months 9-10 for me, I had strep once, the flu and a bad cold. My primary thought was thank God I wasn't drinking bc it would have been so much worse.
Hope you feel better soon and remember that you won't feel like this forever, because of the flu, and don't have to feel like it again, because of alcohol!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Arlington, Texas
Posts: 64
I got the flu and strep on Valentine's Day after I had been sober about 3 months. I felt like crap, but it was so much better than what I'd put myself through for so many years before. It was like this weird scientific experiment where I was judging how it felt to be sick versus how it had felt to be sick and drinking. I was down for a solid week, but I almost relished it. Here was solid proof of how things were better: My absolute worst while sober was lightyears away (and much improved!) from my best while drinking.
Feel better soon and congrats on your sober time!
Feel better soon and congrats on your sober time!
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,976
Congrats Kiki, on 109 days (110 today 
)!
Sorry you are sick and hope you feel better soon!
I was like you in the sense that on the outside everything looked good but I was a mess inside. No one knew the extent of my drinking and I masked it pretty well (though I always worried about my breath. Even Google researched which alcohols leave no smell, and tried vodka and others just for this reason. How crazy is that?). Oh, I used to wear a ton of makeup too because the alcohol made my skin terrible!
It seems like every time I quit drinking, I would get the flu (or have flu like symptoms, which would start 2-4 weeks after no drinking). The first few times, this caused me to relapse because it was the same way I felt with hangovers and I’d drink to make myself feel better. Cycle just continued. I also used to believe in hot toddies, which I just used to rationalize. After all, grandma recommended it, right?
Anyway, just know it will pass! Stay strong. Lots of water and chicken noodle soup!
By the way, have you read Drunk Mom? It is such a good book. I highly recommend for every mom with a drinking problem.
)!Sorry you are sick and hope you feel better soon!
I was like you in the sense that on the outside everything looked good but I was a mess inside. No one knew the extent of my drinking and I masked it pretty well (though I always worried about my breath. Even Google researched which alcohols leave no smell, and tried vodka and others just for this reason. How crazy is that?). Oh, I used to wear a ton of makeup too because the alcohol made my skin terrible!
It seems like every time I quit drinking, I would get the flu (or have flu like symptoms, which would start 2-4 weeks after no drinking). The first few times, this caused me to relapse because it was the same way I felt with hangovers and I’d drink to make myself feel better. Cycle just continued. I also used to believe in hot toddies, which I just used to rationalize. After all, grandma recommended it, right?
Anyway, just know it will pass! Stay strong. Lots of water and chicken noodle soup!
By the way, have you read Drunk Mom? It is such a good book. I highly recommend for every mom with a drinking problem.
Last edited by Fearlessat50; 01-06-2019 at 01:15 PM. Reason: Autocorrect typo
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 241
Thank you everyone. I’m feeling a bit better today. Left the house for awhile, and start back work tomorrow after a two week winter break. Hopefully I’m 100 percent tomorrow. But honestly, I think I brought maybe 20 percent of myself to work, when I was activity drinking. Isn’t it crazy how awful we feel, yet continue to push forward. You guys are so right, as bad as I’ve felt with this bug, is still a million times better than when drinking. I remember rationalizing that drinking while I was sick, maybe the alcohol could kill the germs inside. How insane.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
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When I was drinking, hangovers were like waking up to the flu. 
Now that I'm sober, when I get sick, it feels bad like a hangover. So glad I'm sober now.
Congrats on nearly four months sober!
Now that I'm sober, when I get sick, it feels bad like a hangover. So glad I'm sober now.Congrats on nearly four months sober!
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Join Date: Dec 2017
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Thank you for this post, and congrats on 109 days of sobriety! I can completely relate to keeping up appearances while falling completely apart as soon as I was alone for any length of time. I had pneumonia when I was early in sobriety, and it was so nice to not feel guilty about resting, because it was finally for a "real" reason! Crazy.
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Originally Posted by kiki26
I remember rationalizing that drinking while I was sick, maybe the alcohol could kill the germs inside. How insane.
Hope you feel better. Even though you’ve certainly been worse, it’s not fun to be sick. Stay hydrated!
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