End of day 1....made it. Feeling horrible.
End of day 1....made it. Feeling horrible.
No, I'm not feeling horrible because of withdrawal....I only had two glasses of red wine last night after 40 days of sobriety. I feel horrible emotionally......just a total wreck about myself. Yes, about my past and past things that have happened, but even about myself right now.
None of it makes sense to anyone else so no one can really validate my feelings, they just offer "oh, you're a great mother, of course I love you, you're my wife, Mom you're the best, who cares what you look like, I love you the way you are"......all just makes the feelings grind and jar against me even harder.
Anyway, nothing I can fix tonight....but as I try to start my sobriety again I thought I'd be honest and truthful about how I feel.
Headed to bed, need extra sleep tonight....hope to get off to a good start for the week tomorrow morning.
None of it makes sense to anyone else so no one can really validate my feelings, they just offer "oh, you're a great mother, of course I love you, you're my wife, Mom you're the best, who cares what you look like, I love you the way you are"......all just makes the feelings grind and jar against me even harder.
Anyway, nothing I can fix tonight....but as I try to start my sobriety again I thought I'd be honest and truthful about how I feel.
Headed to bed, need extra sleep tonight....hope to get off to a good start for the week tomorrow morning.
I wish you the best for 2019 otterisland - I hope you'll feel better through not drinking, but also through working on yourself, getting closer to who you want to be, and building the kind of life you want
D
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 20
stay strong, my friend!
I remember where I was on my first night sober... IN JAIL! I got popped with a DUI and spent that night away. I was lucky, no wreck or anything -- just stopped and taken in..
I guess I am saying, it can ALWAYS be worse..
I say this as I sit here on day 539 of total sobriety.. YOU GO THIS :-)
I remember where I was on my first night sober... IN JAIL! I got popped with a DUI and spent that night away. I was lucky, no wreck or anything -- just stopped and taken in..
I guess I am saying, it can ALWAYS be worse..
I say this as I sit here on day 539 of total sobriety.. YOU GO THIS :-)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I don't blame you. For some of us, I think the mental anguish of slipping and having some alcohol is far worse than any physical ramification. I think the reason is simple....we know better. We know we are playing with fire and want something better for ourselves.
It works weirdly: all the best intentions then suddenly out of the blue.......
If there is one good thing about a slip it's the fact we may have time to re assess.
Sadly a good many miss that chance. Setting up a sober day first thing can help.
If there is one good thing about a slip it's the fact we may have time to re assess.
Sadly a good many miss that chance. Setting up a sober day first thing can help.
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