sweetiepie32

Hello everyone, I've only posted on here one other time, but I use this forum often and find great strength in everyone that shares their stories….you guys make a world of difference in so many of our lives, Thank you. Well it was almost a year ago now that i posted on here for the first time in a state of desperation looking for help with my alcoholism….. Since that time I have been actively attempting to stay sober from alcohol with my longest stent being 2 months….which was up until this past Friday when I went on a bender that lasted 3 days ended up bringing unnecessary drama and disappointment into my life once again. Friday night after drinking home alone I ended up driving over to a goods friends place at the wee hours in the morning and getting into a physical altercation with her (though we were both drinking ill take the majority of the responsibility for this because had I been sober I would have stayed my but home and out of trouble) she hid my keys and then went into the bathroom and had sex with her boyfriend while i looked for them all over the house like a crazy person (what a good friend right) I ended up driving back home drunk that morning and I live 30mn away :-( , instead of doing Christmas shopping over the weekend Ive basically remained in my apartment drinking, I have family coming over for christmas today and the kids will be so disappointed i didn't get them any gifts, plus the house looks a mess.. On Saturday I went out to a bar and don't remember how I got home, yesterday I got a call from a guy I guess I met at the bar asking if i was alright.. :-( I was too terrified to ask him about the details from that night …..I'm ashamed and disappointed in myself. Sunday I flaked on a friends birthday party I was suppose to go to because I was too wasted to leave the house and never told her I wasn't coming… and just like that I've thrown away my whole weekend again nothing productive accomplished and left feeling broken. I'm going to end up going into work tomorrow looking like crap again from days of little to no sleep and too much booze. Alcoholism really sucks, very few people I know understand this struggle and its so hard to talk about. I have a partner in my life but he travels often and sometimes for extended periods of time, Im terrified to talk to him about what I'm going through with my drinking because I feel like he wouldn't understand and not want me because of it. I'm going to stay sober today, thanks for listening I needed a place to be honest, Merry Christmas.

MantaLady

You’re not alone Sweetiepie. I could have written the above myself and I know exactly how you feel. Good news is it doesn’t have to be like that anymore, you can get sober! Keep close and keep posting, being active in this community really helped me a lot, maybe join the class of December where you will find a ton of support and others who are at the same stage in their recovery as you.

Look after yourself and be kind to yourself too. No point in worrying about what has already happened as that won’t change it, just concentrate on today and stay strong! xx

eve123

Dee74

Welcome back sweetipie

Sounds like you have every reason in the world to get and stay sober.

You will find a lot of support here for sure, and a lot of good ideas to help you make the changes to make those bursts of sobriety into a permanent way of life

D

16YearsDrunk

Hey Sweetie. Welcome. It sounds like you're ready to take some action. I can attest that this forum was my crutch to quitting alcohol. Please, stick around. In times of trouble in the early days I used this place almost hourly and there are some absolutely amazing people here.

Merry Christmas.

lessgravity

Sigh, feel for you. That's a pattern I can certainly relate to. There's a way out and a better life. Hoping you can find your way.

Dee74

How are you doing sweetiepie?

D

sweetiepie32

Thanks for checking on me Dee,

Im feeling better a little defeated to be honest but Im going to keep trying, made it through the day sober, and Christmas was okay, Im hoping to get some actual sleep tonight and hope Im less foggy when I wake up tomorrow, trying to get back on the wagon.


Thanks

Dee74

Sounds like a good plan for now

D

PhoenixJ

SP- alcoholism sucks. It takes away that we want to be. You have ever do NOT suck.
Keep posting, perhaps go to a meeting, make a plan for recovery.
SHARE! KEEP POSTING!!

ardy

Hi all Sweetheart stay with this group of great silly people. they are all in the same bus... hey new Years eve is just around the corner .. set up the house.. get ready to be the best of 2019 to come and keep on keeping on.. love ardy

NerfThis

The amazing thing about this forum is it's full of people who have been through, are going through or know someone who is going through very similar things, therefore the folks here are extremely good at offering help and advice or lending a sympathetic ear
You're definitely not alone. For now, try to worry about feeling better and staying sober and don't worry about anything you did or said before. You can't change those things, but you CAN change everything from this point on.

sweetiepie32

I intend to be more active on here and make this a big part of my recovery, I know that a huge issue for me has been dealing with this in isolation, I have been to a few meetings before but shy away from doing that out of fear it could get out into the community that I live and effect my employment (though Im sure I've made enough of a fool of myself that quite a few people in my community already know).