Been awhile since being on here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Lost in the Caribbean
Posts: 73
Been awhile since being on here
Every time I recheck back in here its really cool to hear stories that really hit home, everybody's post helps me know what I need/should do. Haven't officially taken the official leap (of 100%) yet but its inevitably coming. Have my 3, 10 days here, 15 days there, 30 if I really want to set a goal. Rich's dui, post really hit home, crashed 2 cars when I was young, got a dui, never hurt anyone, but 20 years later about 3 months ago new I shouldn't drive on multiple occasions but did. It's scary because I have a lot to lose too. My life would be ruined because I'm a freelance yacht chef that mostly works out of the Country all over the world, without a valid passport and free to go anywhere I'm done.
Also what pete said hit home. I just don't know how to change my life, its not normal. I've lived mostly in the Caribbean, ski resorts, different Islands/ Countries and beaches, all around the world since 2005. I work seasonal jobs, I don't own a house/condo, and have hardly any real bills. No, wife, kids, girlfriend. Not sure if the rum has warped my mind, but I tell myself I need a real reason, because in my mind I'm not a good enough reason to quit?
I got into this groove for the last 10 years of working a good seasonal job and then finding a cheap place in the world taking 4 months vacation to go relax, have fun, explore, ect. Spent time all over South America/ Central/ Mexico/ SE Asia/ Indonesia/ Philippines, ect. Basically over the years found out I can live in these beautiful places for 1/4 of the cost of me living in the US, living like a king. I've been in India/ Nepal for almost 2 months now. I have a hotel flat screen/ a/c/WiFi/balcony/hot water, 30 second walk to the beach for 20 dollars a night. There's a wine shop liquor store about every 100 meters here. Restaurants are dirt cheap. PROBLEM, every place I live (working on yachts) or on vacation is a party destination. I mostly stay in my hotel room being 39 (not a 20 year old backpacker) But it usually involves rum in my room. Example it's Sunday at 9:00 p.m., music is thumping and people are setting off fireworks!
If I hadn't lived like I have, out of the western world of rules and laws I know for a fact I would have landed in a jail at sometime in the last 13 years. Part of me loves that, most places I live you have to SERIOUSLY do something wrong to get arrested, like punch a cop. Open container laws are lax/ drinking and driving is normal (not by any means, saying its good). But things are also different where I live, scooters, small cars, small roads, slow speeds. minimal intersections/ traffic lights). Just a different kind of world.
So I don't really do relationships by choice. Had a bad break up with lots of drama with mx ex 12 years ago. Swore off women and wanting to put me in that place again. My job takes me all over for short amounts of time so if I meet a girl I'm honest with her, she knows I'm leaving, lets have fun and keep it light. Works for my drinking too.
Took a longer job in Alaska for the summer, I don't do relationships, the only single girl at the lodge I would not hit on her, basically ignore her while shes getting hit on by 15 guys a day. So after a couple months we start talking. She lives in London, stopped there, went to Ireland on the way to India. She is flying to India tomorrow, then we are going to Sri Lanka for 10 days.
She said she "loves me". My bad reply was "why", " I don't do relationships" Haven't heard or said those words to a girl in 12 years. Normally I date uneducated "party" girls on purpose, because I know there will be no future. I have no idea what to do. This girl is smart/ a nurse/ cool/ stable/ no drug or alcohol issues. The opposite of what I normally go for. The first girl in the last 15 years that makes me want to be a better person.
Also what pete said hit home. I just don't know how to change my life, its not normal. I've lived mostly in the Caribbean, ski resorts, different Islands/ Countries and beaches, all around the world since 2005. I work seasonal jobs, I don't own a house/condo, and have hardly any real bills. No, wife, kids, girlfriend. Not sure if the rum has warped my mind, but I tell myself I need a real reason, because in my mind I'm not a good enough reason to quit?
I got into this groove for the last 10 years of working a good seasonal job and then finding a cheap place in the world taking 4 months vacation to go relax, have fun, explore, ect. Spent time all over South America/ Central/ Mexico/ SE Asia/ Indonesia/ Philippines, ect. Basically over the years found out I can live in these beautiful places for 1/4 of the cost of me living in the US, living like a king. I've been in India/ Nepal for almost 2 months now. I have a hotel flat screen/ a/c/WiFi/balcony/hot water, 30 second walk to the beach for 20 dollars a night. There's a wine shop liquor store about every 100 meters here. Restaurants are dirt cheap. PROBLEM, every place I live (working on yachts) or on vacation is a party destination. I mostly stay in my hotel room being 39 (not a 20 year old backpacker) But it usually involves rum in my room. Example it's Sunday at 9:00 p.m., music is thumping and people are setting off fireworks!
If I hadn't lived like I have, out of the western world of rules and laws I know for a fact I would have landed in a jail at sometime in the last 13 years. Part of me loves that, most places I live you have to SERIOUSLY do something wrong to get arrested, like punch a cop. Open container laws are lax/ drinking and driving is normal (not by any means, saying its good). But things are also different where I live, scooters, small cars, small roads, slow speeds. minimal intersections/ traffic lights). Just a different kind of world.
So I don't really do relationships by choice. Had a bad break up with lots of drama with mx ex 12 years ago. Swore off women and wanting to put me in that place again. My job takes me all over for short amounts of time so if I meet a girl I'm honest with her, she knows I'm leaving, lets have fun and keep it light. Works for my drinking too.
Took a longer job in Alaska for the summer, I don't do relationships, the only single girl at the lodge I would not hit on her, basically ignore her while shes getting hit on by 15 guys a day. So after a couple months we start talking. She lives in London, stopped there, went to Ireland on the way to India. She is flying to India tomorrow, then we are going to Sri Lanka for 10 days.
She said she "loves me". My bad reply was "why", " I don't do relationships" Haven't heard or said those words to a girl in 12 years. Normally I date uneducated "party" girls on purpose, because I know there will be no future. I have no idea what to do. This girl is smart/ a nurse/ cool/ stable/ no drug or alcohol issues. The opposite of what I normally go for. The first girl in the last 15 years that makes me want to be a better person.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad you are posting - I remember you. Wish there were some changes in the story but glad you came back.
As for her.......she's got to figure out for herself that you aren't the best investment. It sounds like a big mess waiting to happen- for both of you.
Hope you decide to give up all the risky stuff- I used up more than my nine lives for sure.
As for her.......she's got to figure out for herself that you aren't the best investment. It sounds like a big mess waiting to happen- for both of you.
Hope you decide to give up all the risky stuff- I used up more than my nine lives for sure.
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