Another binge
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 271
Another binge
last night the compulsion to drink again came on. Had a terrible night but my safety at great risk and lost money.
I had been sober for 5 days and before that 22. Every new binge is that more dangerous to my wellbeing. I hate this illness I really do.
Confused about whether to start AA again. It did not work well the last time.
id rather be dead than alive if this continues.
I had been sober for 5 days and before that 22. Every new binge is that more dangerous to my wellbeing. I hate this illness I really do.
Confused about whether to start AA again. It did not work well the last time.
id rather be dead than alive if this continues.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
I'm not an avid AA'er,by any means,but NOTHING "works" if you don't work it/at it..That goes for all facets of living/life in general. Your drinking doesn't appear to be 'working' either,so I'll ask; What are you willing to do to get/stay sober?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,680
Meetings do not rescue people, they are not wonder miracles- BUT- they get me out of the house, they are free, they are a group of people with understanding of me- and there is support.
It is better than drinking.
Go to a different meeting
See a GP
Do a detox
See an addiction counsellor
As to 'rather be dead'.... the consequences of the day after drinking make us feel this way sometimes ….but you posted here- which means you have hope.
For a time - I WAS dead, revived 3 times as a consequence of drinking (burns). I would not rather be dead.
My prayers and support to you.
It is better than drinking.
Go to a different meeting
See a GP
Do a detox
See an addiction counsellor
As to 'rather be dead'.... the consequences of the day after drinking make us feel this way sometimes ….but you posted here- which means you have hope.
For a time - I WAS dead, revived 3 times as a consequence of drinking (burns). I would not rather be dead.
My prayers and support to you.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Originally Posted by Highercall 
Thank you all. I will have to try to be positive and hope last night was bad enough to keep me sober over Christmas.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by least
It might be better to focus on how much better you will feel when you stay sober, rather then on how bad drinking made you feel.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
I really hope you can find a way to get yourself on the right path. These binges will just get worse and worse as they continue.
Really think about whether you want to be sober more than you want to drink. You always post here after you've binged and never before.
Really think about whether you want to be sober more than you want to drink. You always post here after you've binged and never before.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi HC
I'm sorry you drank but I'm glad you made it back. You sound like the same kind of drinker I am.
I had to put a huge amount of effort into getting through cravings and temptations, but then again I put a huge amount of effort into drinking and then cleaning up the mess.
Support helps - but from my experience its better to reach out for it when you need it, not after.
I'm all for people using, or not using whatever they see fit, but your current way of staying sober isn't working man.
Have you checked out SMART meetings or Lifering? Considered rehab?
Maybe going back to AA for a few more meetings on top or the one or two you've been to, and getting some numbers to call when you need support, is an easier option than any of those?
D
I'm sorry you drank but I'm glad you made it back. You sound like the same kind of drinker I am.
I had to put a huge amount of effort into getting through cravings and temptations, but then again I put a huge amount of effort into drinking and then cleaning up the mess.
Support helps - but from my experience its better to reach out for it when you need it, not after.
Confused about whether to start AA again. It did not work well the last time.
Have you checked out SMART meetings or Lifering? Considered rehab?
Maybe going back to AA for a few more meetings on top or the one or two you've been to, and getting some numbers to call when you need support, is an easier option than any of those?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 271
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hi HC
I'm sorry you drank but I'm glad you made it back. You sound like the same kind of drinker I am.
I had to put a huge amount of effort into getting through cravings and temptations, but then again I put a huge amount of effort into drinking and then cleaning up the mess.
Support helps - but from my experience its better to reach out for it when you need it, not after.
I'm all for people using, or not using whatever they see fit, but your current way of staying sober isn't working man.
Have you checked out SMART meetings or Lifering? Considered rehab?
Maybe going back to AA for a few more meetings on top or the one or two you've been to, and getting some numbers to call when you need support, is an easier option than any of those?
D
I'm sorry you drank but I'm glad you made it back. You sound like the same kind of drinker I am.
I had to put a huge amount of effort into getting through cravings and temptations, but then again I put a huge amount of effort into drinking and then cleaning up the mess.
Support helps - but from my experience its better to reach out for it when you need it, not after.
I'm all for people using, or not using whatever they see fit, but your current way of staying sober isn't working man.
Have you checked out SMART meetings or Lifering? Considered rehab?
Maybe going back to AA for a few more meetings on top or the one or two you've been to, and getting some numbers to call when you need support, is an easier option than any of those?
D
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Highercall
Thank you all. I will have to try to be positive and hope last night was bad enough to keep me sober over Christmas.
Not exactly sure what to tell you at this point that hasn't already already been said literally dozens of times HC. There is no plan or magic pill that will just make you not an alcoholic anymore. And you will get "cravings" no matter what.
I'd say that if you cannot accept that drinking any amount of alcohol is not an option or stay quit on your own, that you should probably consider extended inpatient rehab. Even that is not a guarantee that you won't drink when you get done, but at least it might help you stay dry long enough to start learning healthy habits and changing your lifestyle.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,516
I agree with what Scott just said. I remember feeling like you do now, but it didn't stop me from drinking again. I'm not an AA person, but I did make a plan that worked for me and I think that's important. What will you do tomorrow to not drink AND to make bring peace to your life. Stopping drinking is the beginning, but I needed to make lifestyle changes to support my recovery.
HC, keep the faith that you can do this because this disease is relentless.
HC, keep the faith that you can do this because this disease is relentless.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1,276
I feel your pain HC and I definitely still remember how bad my last drunk was😔 but it’s the work I’ve done the last 15 months that’s kept me sober. I had to put everything i had into living a sober life. It’s not easy but you really can do this and get a better life for yourself.
For me, I joined the September 2017 thread and the one year and under thread and posted to them regularly (maybe a 1000 posts to SR in a year in the end). It’s worked for me so far. I’d say give AA another try. It’s a great program. And, really, what do you have to lose? You can do this HC🙂
For me, I joined the September 2017 thread and the one year and under thread and posted to them regularly (maybe a 1000 posts to SR in a year in the end). It’s worked for me so far. I’d say give AA another try. It’s a great program. And, really, what do you have to lose? You can do this HC🙂
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Highercall
Confused about whether to start AA again. It did not work well the last time.
I can tell you for a fact the difference between "my" first program and getting a sponsor familiar with all 12 steps and actually DOING them myself is frickin immense. It's like other-worldly. Please feel free to PM me anytime if you have any questions or want some advice based upon my experience.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 125
I don't do AA, but I will echo the comments above and say that focusing on how good and freeing your sober time is may be more effective in the long term than focusing on how bad alcohol makes you feel. One thing that keeps me front wanting to drink again is the idea that I've built up a "self" I actually kinda like for the first time in years, and I'm not about to let booze tear it down again. I was a big time binge drinker for over a decade, and it was awful toward the end, but it's looking at the positive thing I have created - and the knowledge that, hey, I can create and make good things, not just %$# things up - that really keeps me moving forward.
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