New to the forum looking to talk
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 7
New to the forum looking to talk
Hi guys and girls, I recently stumbled across this forum and decided to join . I am currently 38 years old and have been very successful in my life. Work at a great job where i make great money. If you looked at my outside world you would see someone squared away, no debt, never arrested, i workout 5 times a week and still somehow look very athletic and lean with drinking nightly.
My problem is over the years my drinking has gotten heavier and heavier. In my early/mid 20's i rarely drank. I maybe went out once a week and had a few beers. I got into the habit of drinking at home during the evenings. I started with a few beers and over the last 8 years progressed to a bottle of wine or even slightly more. I have always been an anxious person but as of late if i go a few days without having my evening drink i find myself moody and anxious. Alcohol has never gotten me in trouble but it now feels like it is a nightly ritual. Drink a bottle of wine... watching TV is so much more fun. Drink about 8 beers with friends.... everything seems more fun. When i do not have a drink at night i feel bored and everything seems less fun. Is it possible to keep this pattern or is 1 bottle of wine 4-5 nights a week eventually going to kill me. I really want to STOP and go back to the old me... where i felt like was fun... without alcohol.
My problem is over the years my drinking has gotten heavier and heavier. In my early/mid 20's i rarely drank. I maybe went out once a week and had a few beers. I got into the habit of drinking at home during the evenings. I started with a few beers and over the last 8 years progressed to a bottle of wine or even slightly more. I have always been an anxious person but as of late if i go a few days without having my evening drink i find myself moody and anxious. Alcohol has never gotten me in trouble but it now feels like it is a nightly ritual. Drink a bottle of wine... watching TV is so much more fun. Drink about 8 beers with friends.... everything seems more fun. When i do not have a drink at night i feel bored and everything seems less fun. Is it possible to keep this pattern or is 1 bottle of wine 4-5 nights a week eventually going to kill me. I really want to STOP and go back to the old me... where i felt like was fun... without alcohol.
I hope our support can help you get sober for good. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 82
Welcome. I had a similar story and the one common i have found out through my life... if i question if something is impacting my life negatively, it probably is. I got to a point where I didnt enjoy anything social much unless there was booze involved. It will progress and you will start to feel more of a tug when you dont have it. Good news is you can change that. Best of luck.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
Great to meet you, Golfnut.
In my 30's I felt just as you do. Alcohol seemed to enhance everything I did - & I was bored when it wasn't in my system. I never dreamed that one day I'd be completely dependent on it - drinking every day, & miserable without it. I'm glad you're taking a hard look at your drinking pattern & what it's doing to your life.
In my 30's I felt just as you do. Alcohol seemed to enhance everything I did - & I was bored when it wasn't in my system. I never dreamed that one day I'd be completely dependent on it - drinking every day, & miserable without it. I'm glad you're taking a hard look at your drinking pattern & what it's doing to your life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Hey, Golfnut! I'm sure there are people who drink a bottle of wine a night who never develop into alcoholics. Part of the disease, if you subscribe to that, is that drinking becomes progressive and negative consequences surface. It seems that you have not encountered or shared that negative outcomes are making you fearful but do have concerns about drinking more. As somebody who also goes along in life feeling anxious a substantial amount of the time, I can say that alcohol as a way to relieve those feelings can lead to dependence. You clearly have a an orderly mind and care about your work and your health, as evidenced by your working out, your financial success, and your communication and consideration of where you stand now. You have come to a good place to explore your thoughts and to decide what it means to live soberly. It's nice to have you here!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 7
Thank you every one! I am having a hard time not drinking after I work out in the evenings. Is working out a trigger? My routine has always been gym, cardio until I’m pretty much exhausted home by 730 and usually start with the wine. It seems like I’m less likely to consume alcohol when I’m sitting here doing nothing.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 11
Consider HALT; are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? You mentioned at least one of those. Maybe hungry, too? Try eating something right after working out. Make an “event” of it, if you’re into cooking, or find interesting take-out/pickup if you’re not, to otherwise occupy yourself. And eventually, that (whatever that is) will become the new reward/habit in relation to a workout. Best to you!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Bev25 
Consider HALT; are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? You mentioned at least one of those. Maybe hungry, too? Try eating something right after working out. Make an “event” of it, if you’re into cooking, or find interesting take-out/pickup if you’re not, to otherwise occupy yourself. And eventually, that (whatever that is) will become the new reward/habit in relation to a workout. Best to you!
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,340
Welcome golfnut-
alcohol is a poison. Ethanol. Our cars run on it.
I was drinking up to up to a bottle of wine a night. Didn’t even feel wasted. Barely buzzed. Wanted to discover me again. Wanted to be recovered more than I wanted that buzz/relaxation/anxiety relief from a bottle. It was a lie anyway. Alcohol lies. I DON’T need it in my life. It was controlling me.
Glad you you are here.
alcohol is a poison. Ethanol. Our cars run on it.
I was drinking up to up to a bottle of wine a night. Didn’t even feel wasted. Barely buzzed. Wanted to discover me again. Wanted to be recovered more than I wanted that buzz/relaxation/anxiety relief from a bottle. It was a lie anyway. Alcohol lies. I DON’T need it in my life. It was controlling me.
Glad you you are here.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 6
Hi golf, I'm new here to. I was 2 years sober until Monday. Now I am 3 days and another level wiser for it.
I noticed you mention that the workout could be the trigger.
in my opinion the workout is exactly the same as the bottle of wine.
The difference is that you are not comfortable with the bottle of wine. And so are looking to rectify that.
If you were to suddenly stop working out, or to have that removed from your life, Your brain would go through the same processes. Where is my gym. I need my gym. The stress and panick of that would not be so different.
My point is that we are creatures of habit. All of us.
Old habits die hard as they say.
The panick you will feel after a workout when you do not drink will subside. If you replace the drink.
It's the habitual aspect and the re-training of your subconscious that is the challenge.
can you teach an old dog new tricks.
several of us on here would say, yes you can.
It takes time. And it's tricky. The subconscious mind is a very stuborn student.
All the best.
I noticed you mention that the workout could be the trigger.
in my opinion the workout is exactly the same as the bottle of wine.
The difference is that you are not comfortable with the bottle of wine. And so are looking to rectify that.
If you were to suddenly stop working out, or to have that removed from your life, Your brain would go through the same processes. Where is my gym. I need my gym. The stress and panick of that would not be so different.
My point is that we are creatures of habit. All of us.
Old habits die hard as they say.
The panick you will feel after a workout when you do not drink will subside. If you replace the drink.
It's the habitual aspect and the re-training of your subconscious that is the challenge.
can you teach an old dog new tricks.
several of us on here would say, yes you can.
It takes time. And it's tricky. The subconscious mind is a very stuborn student.
All the best.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
Hi Golfnut. It sounds like you've decided to address this at a good time. Every time I revisited drinking, it became worse.
As for the fun part, in my experience, rewarding everything with a drink had created a lot of false associations (do I really need a dopamine hit while I'm folding laundry?), so in the beginning, yeah, things seemed a little boring. Fortunately, in time that will resolve — just let your sobriety gain some momentum.
As for the fun part, in my experience, rewarding everything with a drink had created a lot of false associations (do I really need a dopamine hit while I'm folding laundry?), so in the beginning, yeah, things seemed a little boring. Fortunately, in time that will resolve — just let your sobriety gain some momentum.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 7
What has always been annoying is it seems there are two versions of me. The one in the evenings that loves having that bottle of wine and then the morning version of me. That guy wakes up angry and bitter every morning after! Last night I went to bed early and drank nothing. I woke up excited and happy... which happens every morning I do not have a drink. I also enjoy the fact that when I do not drink I actually have dreams. I do not know if this is something all of you have experienced but when I drink I just sort of doze off... wake up at 2... wake up at 3.... wake up at 5 with no recollection of what I dreamed of.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
I used to drink at night watching tv or playing video games until I passed out too because for some reason it seemed more fun. I would go home and cook dinner and start drinking while I was cooking and just continue on into the night.
Unfortunately now I can’t cook myself a nice dinner without seriously craving wine, so for the past few weeks I’ve just eaten prepared foods. Grab it, heat it, and leave the kitchen immediately. If working out is a trigger for you (and it sucks cuz it’s a healthy trigger that leads to unhealthy behaviors!) maybe try to change your schedule. Can you work out in the morning? Do a different exercise routine or just stop entirely for awhile? Your sobriety is more important than your cardio, just like mine is more important than making home cooked meals for the time being. Sometimes you just need to get home and crawl into bed and not leave until the next morning, if that’s what keeps you sober.
As for having more fun watching tv or playing video games while drunk - I haven’t missed that at all. I found that I actually remember what happened in an episode or during game time and I feel way better in the morning.
Rooting for you!
Unfortunately now I can’t cook myself a nice dinner without seriously craving wine, so for the past few weeks I’ve just eaten prepared foods. Grab it, heat it, and leave the kitchen immediately. If working out is a trigger for you (and it sucks cuz it’s a healthy trigger that leads to unhealthy behaviors!) maybe try to change your schedule. Can you work out in the morning? Do a different exercise routine or just stop entirely for awhile? Your sobriety is more important than your cardio, just like mine is more important than making home cooked meals for the time being. Sometimes you just need to get home and crawl into bed and not leave until the next morning, if that’s what keeps you sober.
As for having more fun watching tv or playing video games while drunk - I haven’t missed that at all. I found that I actually remember what happened in an episode or during game time and I feel way better in the morning.
Rooting for you!
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