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I’m back. Third attempt.

Old 10-10-2018, 02:20 PM
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I’m back. Third attempt.

On day four. Both times I gave in thinking I could drink normally again.

This time I’ve decided I’m done for good (have said that before also)

Glad to be back. Hope I’ll stick around for good this time.

I have OCD and it’s terrible after Drinking (when I sober up). Made dumb decisions drunk that I’d never do sober. Then my OCD imagines the worst case scenario from those decisions even though the outcome is unrealistic and near Impossible.
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Old 10-10-2018, 02:33 PM
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Hi Rul - it's great to have you back, with new determination.

It took me a few times to get it, too. In my heart, I knew what had to happen - but I kept playing with it. It feels wonderful to be free of it & to finally realize I never needed it in the first place.
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Old 10-10-2018, 03:46 PM
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Welcome back! I hope this time you can achieve lasting sobriety.
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Old 10-10-2018, 04:53 PM
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I can relate Rul23. I have ADHD and am very impulsive even when sober. Add alcohol to the mix and I become extremely reckless. I have no filter in my brain where I tell myself "No, don't do that. You will regret it". Impulse just overpowers reason. I cause so much needless suffering to myself. Best thing I can do is put all my effort into not drinking.
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Old 10-10-2018, 05:32 PM
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Welcome back, third time's a charm, right?
That fourth day was always a killer for me, and I had many of them, felt better, hang over gone and maybe I can drink normally again.
Was I ever fooling myself.

This can be your last time. I had to always remember, after I got some sober time, that I can never drink again in any amount.
So, yes, stick around. We're always here.
Best to you.
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Old 10-10-2018, 05:53 PM
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RUL I’m on what feels like my 1000th attempt. I’ve also vowed numerous times to be done for good. I’m approaching it differently this time. I’m just done today. I’ll focus on tomorrow when it gets here.

I hope we can both make it stick this time.
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Old 10-10-2018, 06:13 PM
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Thanks everyone!

Part of me wishes time would fast forward so I have years sober, but then logically I realize what fun is that? Need to find new non drinking hobbies and enjoy this time. I haven’t been good at changing people, places and things or filling the void left by removing alcohol.
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Old 10-10-2018, 06:18 PM
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I hope your day 4 is getting better, for real. My sober app has me at 4 months, 9 days, etc. Today, I am hanging on by dental floss...except the time between my last drink and the medical detox, my worst so far. This is where my mind compares the mental decay vs. the physical decay. I do trust the veracity of everyone with more time that it gets better, but I can never know if it will for me. Just brutal, unbearable states of mind born from real world problems both as a consequence of my behavior and not. I have got some serious decisions to make.
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Old 10-10-2018, 07:56 PM
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Welcome back! It took me a while to finally get recovery right as well, and I'm so glad I stick with it. I found mindfulness and exercise, especially walking outdoors very helpful. I also read and post daily on SR.
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Old 10-10-2018, 08:01 PM
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I'm glad to see you back RUL

Eventually I got to a point I know I'd never be a normal drinker. I hope you're at that point now.

You can do this

D
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Old 10-11-2018, 02:14 PM
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Hope it's going well today, RUL.
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Old 10-11-2018, 04:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
Hope it's going well today, RUL.
Thanks Hevyn. No urge to drink. Mainly because my OCD is still Spiraling out of control right now. Been going to bed early. Hoping for a better day tomorrow.

I’m in NYC so it’s evening here now.
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