jeorge

Hello everyone and Happy Thanksgiving to all.

I would like to ask some advice as how to deal with family and friends in regards to a couple issues I am experiencing.
I am in my early fifties and have done well for myself and family, the last few years about 8 have led to a lot of travel, and we all know what happens when we holiday, well with me anyway. I have tried every drink on the liquor menu which over time has/had caused alcohol problems.

I have quit 4 to 5 months at a time since October 2016 and currently am into a month abstinent.

I have discovered with therapy the triggers that have fired me up to start drinking again. I believe and hope that I can quit for good now.

The issues that bother me are the labels that are placed on individuals that have drinking problems and we all know what they are.

What about overweight people, drug addicts soft or hard drugs, prescription addictions. It seems that as indivuduals that drink in excess we have something seriously wrong with us. Maybe we do.

I asked my new lady friend about some of these issues she didn’t have any answers. Its funny she consumes a lot at one sitting and I have had to hold her up to walk her home and she complains about me consuming to much. She had mentioned her father was an alcoholic and her family doesn’t like alcohol but they all drink, hypocritical to say the least. I asked her one day why her father drank there had to be a reason. He hid his booze all over the house. I said it was his house and he hid it why, she didn’t know I reminded her it more than likely was to do with his family dynamics, was he happy in the relationship was he expected to earn a certain amount and so on.

Which brings up another point I discovered I have late liver disease luck of the draw I guess? Before I can get a transplant I have to attend an alcohol treatment center. I asked the doctor why?

Does the overweight person that has heart disease have to go to over eaters anonymous before he gets heart surgery?

Does the person with lung cancer have to go to classes to quit smoking before he gets radiation therapy?

Questions that one asks when you go through these life altering changes.

Last thought I have many friends and family members that like to remind me of my drinking days. My drinking days were to keep myself, enjoying the company, and having fun. They like to remind me of the amount I drank when to this day they talk about it when they are on their 6th beer. My sister brings up my drinking when she has just finished her 14th beer for the day and can’t even speak or sit up.

My wife of 24 years did not support me when I quit for 5 months, she constantly wanted to go out and proceeded to order wine with friends and family. Many times I have looked after her.

What I don’t quite understand is if you drink a lot yourself please keep your opinions to yourself, I have never nagged anyone about their issues. I have quit because of me not because of them I am enjoying myself immensely my health is good and I plan on be sober for the rest of my days. God willing.

Any words thoughts would be appreciated.

Thanks

biminiblue

Hm. "Late liver disease," doesn't sound like your health is good. Liver disease after years of heavy drinking isn't really, "luck of the draw," either.


The rest of your post doesn't much sound like you're enjoying yourself immensely.

I just try to worry about managing my own emotions and let everyone else worry about theirs. What good do all these resentments do you?

They (transplant list managers) don't want to give the most precious gift of a new liver to someone who drinks. Pretty simple. There are many other deserving recipients who won't destroy a new liver with alcohol and most alcoholics don't stay sober long-term, as you have demonstrated in your post.

I wish you well. I hope you find your way.

Anna

You sound very angry.

I hope that you recover and find some peace in your life.

Maudcat

Great that you are not drinking and congratulation on one month.
By now, I hope you are feeling better physically.
I know that when I first stopped, I had a lot of sadness about giving up the drink.
I resented that, for whatever reason, I couldn’t drink “normally”, that for me it was just more and more and more. I also resented people who could.
My opinion. I was grieving the loss of my good friend alcohol.
Which wasn’t a good friend at all, actually.
These feelings passed as I became stronger in sobriety.
I felt better, looked better, and had set down a great weight that had been dogging my life for several years.
Good luck and keep going.

ScottFromWI

As a matter of fact, yes - in order to get on the list for a lung transplant you need to quit smoking and stay quit. And if you need heart surgery because you are overweight, you'll be put on a strict diet to help reduce the weight.

I am glad to hear that you have decided to quit drinking - that is likely the best decision you've made and you won't regret it.

Wastinglife

People in need of a liver transplant are more likely to die while on the waiting list for a new liver than to receive one. Alcoholics won't be given a liver unless they meet strict conditions. Why waste a liver on an alcoholic who is likely to drink again?