Too much too face
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
Hey, Dandelion. You are never alone here. SR is a great place for honesty and encouragement from people who understand in a way that 'normal' drinkers cannot fathom. I agree with Anna-be nice to yourself. Give yourself a treat and be gentle to you. I get the feelings of self-hatred--I still struggle with them at times. It's hard now but keep going strong like you are doing--just don't drink. Think of the beautiful new sober life on the other side of the pain. Breathing really does help me and I also practice yoga; the stretching and concentration is wonderful and it gives me the ability to heal my body from all the damage I've inflicted. I ride my bike everywhere too; just a short ride gives me a rush of endorphins. I've also lost 60 lbs and have athletic blood pressure; before it was high and I had dangerously low levels of sodium and potassium--to say the least while drinking I was a physical mess.
I am so glad you are posting and sober, Dandelion. You can achieve this. It's so worth the fight and it's one you can win; we are all fighting with you. All best wishes.
I am so glad you are posting and sober, Dandelion. You can achieve this. It's so worth the fight and it's one you can win; we are all fighting with you. All best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by hummingbird358 
My loved one is newly sober and is having extreme depression. I read through all of these posts as a way to try to understand and let him know he is not alone. He tells me the guilt/shame and depression is unbearable. I don't know what to say to him. It is breaking my heart.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,834
Hi Dandelion -
I read your post and sorry for what you are going through. I get the emotional pain, the kind that cuts you to the core.
I am going through something similar and had a crying spell so bad the other day I could hardly stand up. I was choking and gasping for air. I am working with a therapist and she said this is all about having "un-anesthetized" feelings. Alcohol has masked our true underlying feelings for so long and so now we are raw and exposed. She said my crying episode (for no apparent reason I might add) was just pure and simply GRIEF. Grief over exactly what we will find out. Whatever it is, it is just coming to the surface.
I used some of the same words you did to describe to her how I was feeling...I can't do it anymore, I have nothing left to give, I am done. All of that. She said it is time to just let it all out and that is probably what is happening to you too. You are grieving.
Things will get better. I feel a teeny bit better today than I did yesterday. A lot of it is the alcohol finally out of the body and so now everything is raw and exposed, and no longer numb.
Stick with it. You'll feel better.
I read your post and sorry for what you are going through. I get the emotional pain, the kind that cuts you to the core.
I am going through something similar and had a crying spell so bad the other day I could hardly stand up. I was choking and gasping for air. I am working with a therapist and she said this is all about having "un-anesthetized" feelings. Alcohol has masked our true underlying feelings for so long and so now we are raw and exposed. She said my crying episode (for no apparent reason I might add) was just pure and simply GRIEF. Grief over exactly what we will find out. Whatever it is, it is just coming to the surface.
I used some of the same words you did to describe to her how I was feeling...I can't do it anymore, I have nothing left to give, I am done. All of that. She said it is time to just let it all out and that is probably what is happening to you too. You are grieving.
Things will get better. I feel a teeny bit better today than I did yesterday. A lot of it is the alcohol finally out of the body and so now everything is raw and exposed, and no longer numb.
Stick with it. You'll feel better.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
I am sorry that you are feeling this way Dandelion, but know that these feelings will not last forever. I used to have days sometimes weeks where I felt exactly the same, I had just had enough and I felt trapped in having to live. I just wanted out, I was tired and emotional and I couldn't imagine ever feeling happy, everything was emotionally painful and I just couldn't see anything positive or worth living for. I had really had enough.
I am not saying life is all rainbows and unicorns right now but after 4 months of sobriety I can honestly say the way I feel now is light night and day in comparison. While I was actively using and in the first month of sobriety the darkness I felt was overwhelming, but that has changed now. I don't catatrophise as much, I can accept something is sh$t but it doesn't spiral me down to the depths it used to. Working a programme, doing meditation, writing and journal all have helped too.
Hang in there, it won't always feel like this I promise! xx
I am not saying life is all rainbows and unicorns right now but after 4 months of sobriety I can honestly say the way I feel now is light night and day in comparison. While I was actively using and in the first month of sobriety the darkness I felt was overwhelming, but that has changed now. I don't catatrophise as much, I can accept something is sh$t but it doesn't spiral me down to the depths it used to. Working a programme, doing meditation, writing and journal all have helped too.
Hang in there, it won't always feel like this I promise! xx
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