Lost my best friend of 35 years.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 782
Lost my best friend of 35 years.
He was my soulmate. A confidante. An AA. He just died at 51 years old. I relapsed. The grief was overwhelming. Starting over this time is perilous. I went into a tailspin.
I thought I had this. Steps 1 and 2. No doubt.
I thought I had this. Steps 1 and 2. No doubt.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I'm so sorry for your loss. So sad to die so young. My hub died at 58 and that was young and horrible for sure.
Strangely I found out an 'old' friend was found dead in her car Monday night. I woke up to a text from my brother saying he didn't know she had been missing and he heard the news on the local news, no less. Shocked can't describe it. He was closer to her than I. But since she had retired he hadn't been in contact with her as much, I'm assuming. She was a 'work' related friend. But I can say, without a doubt, she was one of 'those' people...loved by everyone. Respected. Sharp as hell. Just one helluva gal. I was so off yesterday, so shocked and sad. The details around her death are sketchy, which is weird, because she was NOT sketchy. So I'm interested to find out more. I feel so badly for her hub and her two kids. Just awful. I can't imagine what they are going through.
But the bottom line: It didn't happen TO me. And drinking would solve nothing. I don't say that to be harsh, I say that because ownership and accountability are key...at least for me.
Horn, I truly believe that you would benefit from more intensive help. As long as you believe there are reasons to drink, you will drink. That's just the deal.
Hang in there. I hope you find some peace.
Strangely I found out an 'old' friend was found dead in her car Monday night. I woke up to a text from my brother saying he didn't know she had been missing and he heard the news on the local news, no less. Shocked can't describe it. He was closer to her than I. But since she had retired he hadn't been in contact with her as much, I'm assuming. She was a 'work' related friend. But I can say, without a doubt, she was one of 'those' people...loved by everyone. Respected. Sharp as hell. Just one helluva gal. I was so off yesterday, so shocked and sad. The details around her death are sketchy, which is weird, because she was NOT sketchy. So I'm interested to find out more. I feel so badly for her hub and her two kids. Just awful. I can't imagine what they are going through.
But the bottom line: It didn't happen TO me. And drinking would solve nothing. I don't say that to be harsh, I say that because ownership and accountability are key...at least for me.
Horn, I truly believe that you would benefit from more intensive help. As long as you believe there are reasons to drink, you will drink. That's just the deal.
Hang in there. I hope you find some peace.
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by Horn95 
He was my soulmate. A confidante. An AA. He just died at 51 years old. I relapsed. The grief was overwhelming. Starting over this time is perilous. I went into a tailspin.
I thought I had this. Steps 1 and 2. No doubt.
I thought I had this. Steps 1 and 2. No doubt.
Bless you on the journey.
-Eric
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 14
Horn - very sorry that you lost your friend. I have no doubt that's tough. I've found that meetings and helping others get me through the rough times. I hope that you are able to find the peace that you need to get through this.
Hook'em
John
Hook'em
John
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm sorry for your loss Horn, but I',m really glad you're back.
Don't put off stopping drinking again.
It's like ripping a bandaid off man - it hurts like blazes for a while but it's for the best.
D
Don't put off stopping drinking again.
It's like ripping a bandaid off man - it hurts like blazes for a while but it's for the best.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
I lost my Dad at 56 to Cancer Jan 2017, then my stepdad at 47 to Cancer in Jan 2018. Brutal.
Both sent me spiraling out of control. In such situations, you're forgiven for a slip-up. Death is very tough for a nonalcoholic to deal with let alone an alcoholic.
Here's what I learned to accept. Death isn't the end. We're bags of atoms and an atom never dies it just changes form. So death is certainly not the end of those atoms. The west has a strange way of seeing death and I myself have been brought up in the west so it took me a long time to see things differently.
If a bag of atoms can spawn consciousness and emotions then logically we can assume that their atoms after "death" can form "senses" again, or consciousness is a separate entity that exists after death. Either way, I know they're both haven't reached "the end" of anything. We're all energy and even though the body decomposes (as does everything in the universe) the energy doesn't.
That's just my way of coping and making sense of death.
Both sent me spiraling out of control. In such situations, you're forgiven for a slip-up. Death is very tough for a nonalcoholic to deal with let alone an alcoholic.
Here's what I learned to accept. Death isn't the end. We're bags of atoms and an atom never dies it just changes form. So death is certainly not the end of those atoms. The west has a strange way of seeing death and I myself have been brought up in the west so it took me a long time to see things differently.
If a bag of atoms can spawn consciousness and emotions then logically we can assume that their atoms after "death" can form "senses" again, or consciousness is a separate entity that exists after death. Either way, I know they're both haven't reached "the end" of anything. We're all energy and even though the body decomposes (as does everything in the universe) the energy doesn't.
That's just my way of coping and making sense of death.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 782
Originally Posted by DontRemember
Did you ever start IOP?
I hesitate to say anything further. It is all cliche at this point.
I am alright. I drank today. To stop the shakes. I got my doc to call in a scrip for Librium and still have my Gabapentin. Starting Over.
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